To Be Young Again
by miminator
Summary: -COMPLETE-Lily has hated James for as long as she can remember, and she is determined that nothing will change. But what happens when, though they lead two different lives, they soon fall for each other, with obstacles complicating their future?
1. Chapter 1:The Dreaded Christmas Holiday

**Chapter 1: The Dreaded Christmas ****Holiday**  
  
"Sirius!"  
  
Sirius Black, a 16-year old boy wizard, had been living in Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place all his life. This day was mostly like every other, but this time it was his younger brother Regulus' 12th birthday. Sirius was dreading it, like all other days, wishing only to go back to Hogwarts. His mother screeched his name once again.

"Sirius Black, if you don't get down here this instant, I swear to Merlin I'll-"

"I'm coming, Mum," Sirius called back glumly as he made his way down the stairs.

He reached the basement kitchen and, taking a deep breath, pushed open the door and entered.

A revolting sight greeted Sirius' eyes. The whole room had been decorated (no doubt by Kreacher), but all was dark. Dark shapes were floating in the air and a dark cake adorned with dimly lit candles was being watched over by Regulus.

Kreacher, the house-elf walked past Sirius, muttering something perfectly audible under his breath.  
  
"Oh horrid, horrid boy, piece of scum and vermin, disgrace to the family, trying to ruin my young master's birthday. Oh, what Mistress would do if she found out…"  
  
Sirius' mother, father, and Regulus were sitting at the table, glaring at him. Sirius sighed.  
  
"Blow out your candles, Reggie," said Mrs. Black in a sweet, sugary voice quite unlike her own. Sirius gagged.

Apparently, this was a wrong move, for Mrs. Black seemed to have eyes in the back of her head that Sirius didn't know about.  
  
"OH NO YOU DON'T, SIRIUS! DON'T YOU DARE! JUST BECAUSE REGULUS IS WONDERFUL AND YOU'RE NOT DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN MAKE FUN OF REGGIE BEHIND MY BACK AND THING I WON'T NOTICE!"

_ Oh, old woman, if only you knew_, Sirius thought bitterly. And with that thought, he stomped of to bed.

The last thing he heard that night as he was nearing the top of the stairs was his mother's voice, talking to her husband:  
  
"Oh, dear, have you heard what Sirius has said about James? He fancies that _Mudblood_(she spat out the name like a curse word) Evans.  Oh dear, I worry about that child.  He comes from such a good family… I wonder what his dear parents would say if they found out…

Sirius held back the anger bubbling inside him and went silently to his room. He couldn't wait for tomorrow, when he would see James, Remus, and Peter again on the train back to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. At last the Christmas holidays were over.


	2. Chapter 2: In Her Mind

**Disclaimer**: I only own Jane, who doesn't show up much anyway. I mean, Lily has to have friends, right? But the rest belong to JK!  
  
**To Be Young Again  
  
Chapter 2: In Her Mind**  
  
_Ugh,_ Lily sighed. _What is with this James Potter? He won't stop pestering me with these owls!_ she thought silently as a tawny owl flew through her open window and landed on her bed. Where does he get all these owls anyway? Never mind that, she told herself. I'm not writing back, she told herself sternly.

"I won't," she said aloud.Lily sighed. She couldn't wait to get back to Hogwarts, where she could se her best friends, Jane and Arabella, again.

She smiled, thinking of Arabella. Everyone thought she was a Squib. Tests had been run, and they proved negative. She couldn't conjure up the simplest Levitating spell.

But last year, their 5th year, all that had changed. Arabella had gotten top marks in her O.W.L.S., and almost single-handedly saved Jane's life. She was back in the 'in' community.

Then, out of the blue, in midst of these memories, she had a flashback. A horrible memory that she was scared of.  
  
Flashback  
  
_ Lily, Jane and Arabella were walking to Potions class. They were talking, trying to rid themselves of the dread of the class looming ahead of them. That's when it happened.  
Severus Snape, a greasy-haired, big-nosed boy, who was always teased by the Marauders (the name by which James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew called themselves) approached Lily.  
"Uh, Lily? Could I have a word?" he asked, wringing his hands in nervousness.  
"Uh, sure," Lily replied, surprised that Snape called her by her first name instead of her surname. "Be right back," she added to Arabella and Jane.  
As soon as they were out of earshot, Snape said to Lily, "Are you doing anything tonight?"  
Lily raised her eyebrows.  
"BecauseIwaswonderingifyouwouldgotoHogsmeadewithme," Snape said in a rush.  
"Pardon?" Lily asked.  
Snape sighed. "Will you go out with me tonight? To Hogsmeade?"  
"Uh, I'm sorry, er, Severus, but I'm busy tonight," Lily's cheeks flushed. And before Snape could suggest another time, Lily rushed back to her friends.  
"What was it?" Jane asked.  
"He asked me out," Lily replied, still panting slightly. Arabella and Jane gasped.  
"But I said I was busy," Lily said quickly.  
Then, later that day after their Charms O.W.L.S., Lily walked out onto the bank of the lake, just in time to see what James was doing to Snape.  
"Leave him ALONE!" Lily shouted.  
"Alright, Evans?" said James.  
"Leave him alone. What's he done to you?"  
"Well, it's more than the face that he exists, if you know what I mean..."  
"You think you're funny, but you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him ALONE."  
"I will if you go out with me, Evans. Go on... go out with me, and I'll never lay a hand on old Snivellus again."  
"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid."  
James got hit with a jet of light, and there was a gash down the side of his face. He whirled around and hit Snape with a jet of light, and Snape was hanging upside down in the air.  
"Let him down!" Lily cried.  
"Certainly." James jerked his wand and Snape fell to the floor. "There you go. You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus-"  
"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!"  
"Fine," said Lily coolly. "I won't bother in the future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus."  
"Apologize to Evans!" James roared.  
"I don't want you to make him apologize," Lily snapped. "You're as bad as he is."  
"What?" yelped James. "I'd NEVER call you a-you-know-what!"  
"Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can-I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK!"  
And with that, Lily turned and left. James called after her, but she ignored him and didn't look back.  
  
_ End of Flashback

Lily let out an exasperated sigh. She did think James was still conceited, but he was getting better. She went back to packing her trunk.


	3. Chapter 3: The Anonymous Note

**Thanks to:**  
  
**Monlightgirl****ChoChang**- Thanks! I can't wait to hear your idea! God knows I need it! Thanks for supporting me!  
  
**BlackLupin**- Thanks so much! Your encouragement is what has really kept me going. I thought continuing with this story was stupid; cuz I thought this story was dumb. But ok, you've convinced me. Thanks for sticking by me.  
  
**TO ALL**: Everyone, usually I require 5 reviews in order to upload a new chapter. But no one was reviewing (except the above), so I decided to give you another chapter to keep you happy. Reviews with any comments are accepted, even sigh...flames. But they're not recommended giggle If you want another chapter in the future, and it's not uploading, you know why. wink SO, review, review, review!  
  
**To Be Young Again  
**  
**Chapter 3: The Anonymous Note**  
  
"Okay, now," said Remus to his owl. "Go find James, and don't get back until you have a reply."  (**A/N:** Sound familiar? I won't have this owl peck poor James to death, though. grins)  
  
The note attached to the large, coffee-colored owl read:  
_ James-  
Why haven't you been answering my letters, mate? I'm starting to worry. You're alright, aren't you?  
-Remus_

Remus sighed as he re-read the note. _Of course_, he thought bitterly, _nothing could be wrong with the great James Potter,_ he thought sarcastically.

He gave the owl an Owl Treat (made by the famous makers of "Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans") and watched it soar out the window until it was out of sight.

Remus sighed again. The full moon was approaching, and he was exhausted. He closed his eyes and fell asleep.  
  
-

Tap. Tap. Tap. RAP.

"Huh? No, don't..." Remus' eyes opened with a jolt. He let out a sigh of relief. It was just the owl rapping on the window.

That's when he noticed the deep gash on the bird's right wing. Remus hurried to the window, thrust it open, and gently brought the large bird inside.

He set the coffee-colored owl in its cage and detached the note from its leg.

The color left Remus' face as he read the note. It was not James' handwriting. But aside from that, it was the words that caught Remus' eye:  
_  
You have just given away the whereabouts of James Potter. You cannot do anything to save him. His luck has run out._

The not was not signed, and it was obviously not from James. Remus did not know how to contact James without the use of an owl. He would just have to hope that James would be safe until they got to King's Cross Station tomorrow.

Remus tucked the anonymous note into the pocket of his school robes. He would save it to show to James tomorrow. If he did not have proof of a threatening note, knowing James, he would not believe it.

**A/N:** Scary, huh? giggle Well, guys, I hope you read the note above because it's really important. To me, anyway.  
Oh, yes, important question/request: I need ideas! I still don't have much of a plot, as most of you know. I have what's above, someone trying to attack James (or is it all a practical joke? Hmmm...), but it's not much to work with. And I promise to mention you in the story if I think your idea is good enough to use! I'll consider every one of them. So, ideas and reviews, please! much love


	4. Chapter 4: The Hogwarts Express

**Dragongurl-** I'm not giving up! Who told you that?! Oh, well, who gives a damn anyway? See ya real soon!  
  
**To Be Young Again**  
**  
Chapter 4: The Hogwarts Express**

James Potter awoke to the sound of birds chirping outside his window. _Ugh_, he thought, _shut up, stupid birds!_ He was apparently in a very groggy mood.

Then he remembered what day it was. He suddenly leapt out of bed, threw some Muggle clothes on, raked a hand through his disheveled hair, and bolted out the door.

Mrs. Potter had made breakfast. James shoved a piece of toast in his mouth and ran to the car where his father was waiting for him.  
  
"Why do we have to use this thing, Father?" James gestured toward the car, a look of disapproval upon his face.

"James, I've told you countless times, you haven't passed your Apparation tests yet. And no, you can't'," Mr. Potter added as he saw the look on James' face.

Once they were at King's Cross, James had spotted Sirius. He left his father with a quick wave of his hand and ran to catch up with his best friend.  
  
"Hello, Padfoot, old friend."  
  
"James, old boy! How's your summer been?"  
  
"Fine, I suppose. C'mon, don't wanna miss the train."

As soon as Sirius and James had settled down and put their luggage away, Remus appeared at the doorway to their compartment.  
  
"Hello, Moony," James greeted his friend with a smile.  
  
But Remus did not return the greeting. He gave James a grim smile and sat down, clutching his stomach.  
  
"Full...moon...tonight," he grunted.

The look of realization spread over Sirius' face, as James bore the identical expression.  
  
"Oh, yeah," said James.

They sat in silence, except for Remus' occasional moans. Peter walked in.  
  
"Hello, Wormtail," Remus said, his voice just above a whisper.  
  
"Hello James, Sirius, Remus," Peter said, nodding to each one in turn.  
  
Then Remus remembered the note. He forgot his stomachache.  
  
"James!" he said abruptly, causing everyone to stare at him, wondering where his stomachache had gone.

Remus explained everything to the Marauders. When he finished, all James did was lean back on his seat, completely relaxed.  
  
"Don't worry, Moony. It was probably Sirius playing a joke on you."  
  
"Yeah," said Sirius. "Hey, it wasn't ME!"  
  
"Don't worry about it, Remus," Peter said.  
  
"Yeah, people are just jealous of me," said James airily. "It was just a joke."  
  
"Yeah...a joke..." Remus said, trying to sound assured. But his face told a completely different story.  
  
**A/N:** Ok, I know that was crap, but I can't help it! The next chapter will probably be better, though. And I need help! I wanna make this creepy, like make James have nightmares that no one can explain and stuff, but I need help from all of you much-loved reviewers! Suggestions in your reviews will be greatly appreciated. Or, better yet, e-mail me! It's Luvya all!


	5. Chapter 5: Truth or Dare

**Dragongurl**- Thanks!  
  
**BlackLupin**- Don't apologize, it's my fault. (It's always the author's fault.) Thanks for all your advice; I'll be sure to include that somewhere.  
  
**Eternity's Angel of Mercy**- You really are an angel! Thank you!  
  
**To Be Young Again**  
  
**Chapter 9: Truth or Dare**  
**  
A/N:** I have decided to take a little break on To Be Young Again. Well, sort of. This wouldn't really happen, had I been serious, but it has to do with the story. You'll see. I had a bad day, so I wanted to write something fun. This is the result. It has the characters and all, but I just decided to have a little fun. Enjoy reading!  
  
Sirius: Let's play Truth or Dare!  
  
_(Everyone stares at him.)_  
  
Sirius: _(mumbles)_ It's a Muggle game. _(Perks up.)_ But it's really fun!  
  
James: Whatever you say, Padfoot.  
  
Sirius: _(calls out)_ Anyone wanna play Truth or Dare?  
  
Severus: I guess I need _SOMETHING_ interesting and exciting in my life. _(he joins the circle at the Marauders table.)  
_  
Lily: _(turns to Arabella and Jane)_ Bella, Jane, wanna try? _(Arabella and Jane shrug. The trio joins the circle.)  
_  
Remus: Teach us how to play, Sirius.  
  
Sirius: Okay. One person asks another person "Truth or dare?" If the person being questioned answers "Truth", then they are asked a personal question which they must answer. If they answer "Dare", they get dared to do something.  
  
Peter: Gotcha.  
  
Sirius: Okay. I'll go first. _(He turns to Snape.)_ Snivellus, truth or dare?  
  
Severus: Uh, dare.  
  
Sirius: _(evil smirk)_ I dare you _(pause for effect)_...to take a bath.  
  
(Gasps around the table.)  
  
Severus: (shudders) I...I...but...a bath...no...  
  
James: If you refuse, you have to strip.  
  
Severus: _(whimpers)But_ a bath… mommy, no, please… Okay..._(__he leaves the room)_

Sirius: What a wacko.  
  
_Five minutes later...  
  
(Snape comes back to the table with wet hair. He scowls.)  
_  
Severus: I never want to do that again. _(shudders)  
_  
James: You won't.  
  
Severus: Lily-I mean Evans-truth or dare?  
  
Lily: Umm...dare.  
  
Severus: I dare you...to kiss Potter. _(he smirks)_ ((A/N: I KNOW that Snape would never give James the satisfaction of kissing his crush if they're mortal enemies, alright?))  
  
James looked like Christmas had come early. Lily looked like Christmas had been canceled.  
  
Severus: _(smugly)_ Or strip. Your choice.  
  
Lily grimaced, sighed, and leaned toward James, reluctance written all over her face. James leaned forward eagerly, and just as their lips brushed, Lily pulled back.  
  
Lily: Um, yeah. _(turns to Sirius)_ Black, truth or dare?  
  
Sirius: Dare. I'm a daring person.  
  
Lily: Ok. Um, I'm not any good at this. (Looks around pleadingly) Some help, please?  
  
_Of course James is the first too volunteer.  
_  
James: _(leans over and whispers something in her ear)  
_  
Lily: EEEW. Are you sure?  
  
James: Trust me.  
  
Lily: Uh, ok then...Black, I dare you to...eat a rat. _(she shudders at the thought)_  
  
Sirius: No problem. _(He looks at Peter.)  
_  
Peter: What the-? Sirius!  
  
Sirius: Only joking, Peter. _(He mutters a spell and a rat pops up in his hand. He transforms into a dog and eats it.)  
_  
Everyone except James, Remus and Peter: EEW!!!  
  
Sirius: _(satisfied smirk)_ Ok, James, truth or dare?  
  
James: Dare.  
  
Sirius: I dare you to ask...you crush out.  
  
James: _(sputters)_ What? Oh, I'm gonna kill you, Padfoot_...(__looks at Lily. She knows what's coming.)_ Lily, will you go out with me?  
  
Lily: Uh, I uh, well, um...I'd rather eat a rat!  
  
Sirius: Hey! They're quite filling.  
  
Lily: Urgh!!!  
  
James: _(looks crestfallen)_ Um, Evans? Truth or dare?  
  
Lily: _(sigh)_ Dare, I suppose.  
  
James: _(looks as if he's won a million Galleons)_ I dare you to say yes and go out with me.  
  
Lily: Potter, you can't do that!  
  
Remus: Oh, yes he can.  
  
Lily: _(grumbles) _Oh, fine. _(looks angry. Her face is red.)  
_  
James: I'll owl you about it. _(winks)  
_  
Lily: Grr. Lupin, truth or dare?  
  
Remus: I'm gonna risk it, whatever 'it' is. Dare.  
  
Lily: Uh, guys? Help?  
  
Once again, James is more than willing to help. He whispers something in her ear.  
  
_(Lily half smiles at James.)_  
  
Lily: Good one.  
  
(_James is amazed._) _Lily being nice to me??__ I'M IN HEAVEN!_  
  
Lily: Lupin, I dare you to go up to the one you fancy and propose to her.  
  
Remus: But...um...see...JAMES, I'LL KILL YOU!  
  
James: Ooh, I'm scared. Oh, and Remus, you're a prefect. No killing. _(wags finger at Remus)_  
  
Remus: Grr. Well, I don't have a ring.  
  
Lily: Here's one. _(takes a ring off her finger and hands it to Remus)  
_  
Remus walks up too Jane. He goes down on one knee.  
  
Remus: Jane? Will-you-marry-me?  
  
Jane: Me? Yes, I will! How did you know?  
  
Remus: Uh, what? _(apparently very astounded that Jane likes him too.)_  
  
Jane: Oh, never mind.  
  
_They lean closer to each other ((**A/N**: Don't worry Amy!)), and then-  
_  
Peter: Uh, guys? Snogging session. Outside.  
  
Remus and Jane give him dirty looks and walk outside of the Great Hall.  
  
**A/N**: OK, so it wasn't all that great, but at least this way James and Lily have a date, right? He he Don't forget to review! Luvya all!

Much love,

OutofAzkaban


	6. Chapter 6: The Date

**Dragongurl****-** Thanks for the name and owl species thing! Good luck with AAA! Don't forget to talk to Slythe!  
  
**BlackLupin****-** Thanks for your encouragement! Glad you liked it! I thought you had stopped reading because I didn't get a review from you in so long.  
  
**To Be Young Again  
**  
**Chapter 6: The Date  
**  
Lily gazed outside her window. The mountain scenery is beautiful, she thought. The mountains in the background, and the lake in front of it, the evergreens, the big amber eyes...  
  
_What?_ thought Lily incredulously. _Oh, it's only an owl._ With a sigh of relief, she went to the window to retrieve the large bird.  
  
Lily undid the latch and gently brought the large bird inside. She untied the note attached to its leg. It read:  
  
_Dear Lily, _

_Can you be at the one-eyed witch's hump at __8:00__ tonight? I'll pick you up there. Is that alright for our date?  
Love,  
James Potter  
_  
Lily shook her head in disgust. I can't believe Potter had the nerve to write that, she thought. She took out a piece of parchment and picked up a deep-green quill. She wrote:  
  
_Potter- _

_That's all fine with me. Why the witch's hump?  
Lily Evans  
_  
She tied it to the owl's leg again, stroked the male bird once, and let it take off in flight. Lily watched the owl soar into the evening before resuming her Charms homework.  
  
-  
  
"Hiya, Firebolt," ((**A/N:** Please don't bug me about the name)) James greeted his hawk owl ((**A/N:** Thanks Melanie!)) cheerfully. "Brought me a reply?"  
  
The owl hooted softly. James stroked Firebolt for a moment before untying the letter from his leg. It was the reply from Lily. James read it, smiled, dipped his quill into the ink bottle, and began to write.  
  
_Lily- _

_Never mind that. You'll see.  
-James _

_P.S. Please don't call me by my last name on our date.  
_  
He grinned at the word 'date.' Oh, if only Sirius could see me now, smiling like a fool...he thought. He tied the letter to the owl's leg and watched him soar into the night.  
  
He lay back on his bed and sighed. In just two hours he would be taking Lily out. Lily. Lily Evans.  
  
"Wow," he whispered to himself. Then he splashed cold water onto his face and started to get ready for his big date.  
  
-  
  
Lily examined herself in the mirror. Her beautiful auburn ringlets had been piled on the top of her head by Arabella. Jane had chosen her emerald dress. She was just applying lipstick.  
  
Why am I prettying myself up? she thought. It's not like I'm trying to prove something to Potter.  
  
_Or are you? _said a nasty little voice in the back of her brain.  
  
_Shut up,_ she told the voice.  
  
_Just doing my job,_ said the voice gloomily before silencing itself.  
  
Lily glanced at her watch. It read 8:00. _Time to meet Potter,_ she told herself. _But I swear I will not have fun. Not with that conceited airhead...  
_  
She reached the one-eyed witch, and found James Potter waiting for her there. He was wearing black robes with the Gryffindor lion in gold, and he had tried to tame his hair. It looked a little more decent, Lily could tell.  
  
James grinned when he saw her. He took his wand out, tapped the one-eyed witch's hump, and said "Dissenduim." Lily gasped as it opened to reveal the secret passageway, and James smiled. He held out his arm.  
  
"Shall we?"  
  
Lily sighed and took his arm.  
  
"But we better not be seen by anyone, Potter."  
  
"I told you not to call me 'Potter.'"  
  
"No you didn't!"  
  
Just then an owl swooped down on Lily's shoulder. Just as she had untied the letter it bore, Firebolt took off.  
  
Lily read the letter; a smile creeping onto her face, but she held it back.  
  
"Okay, so you did tell me not to."  
  
James smiled once more.

"Let's go, Lily," he said. Lily remembered her vow, put on a less-than-happy face, and followed James into Hogsmeade. She kept her face cold and masked as she entered Honeydukes. Shelves upon shelves of wizarding sweets greeted her green eyes.  
  
They stepped out into the cold night. The evergreens were covered with snow and the ground was a soft white blanket.  
  
"Shall we go for butterbeer?" asked James, through chattering teeth, nodding at The Three Broomsticks. Lily shrugged. James took that for a "yes" and they entered The Three Broomsticks.  
  
"Two butterbeers, please," James told the bartender. He handed James two dusty bottles. James paid for them and went to the table where Lily was sitting. He handed her one of the butterbeers.  
  
"To… us," James said. He raised his bottle. Lily half-heartedly raised her bottle in the air and took a sip.  
  
"So, Lily," said James, trying to make conversation. "What's your favorite place in Hogsmeade?"  
  
"Why should you care, Potter?" Lily scoffed. James looked hurt. "Ugh, fine...James."  
  
"I was just trying to make conversation..."  
  
"Well, stop trying Pot- James," Lily corrected herself.  
  
They downed their butterbeer in silence.  
  
"Um...wanna go up to the Shrieking Shack?" James made another feeble attempt at conversation.  
  
"The Shrieking Shack? What the heck for?"  
  
"N- nothing," James stammered quickly. "It's just that… well, the Shrieking Shack is…" _You are NOT going to tell her,_ James told himself firmly. "It's, well… I like it and…"  
  
"You like it? You like it?! What kind of a place is that for a date, huh, James? You want me to go just because you like the... the stupid Shrieking Shack!" Lily shrieked. "You'll always be the self-centered git I know, Potter," she said coldly.  
  
Then James exploded. "Lily, I've been taking all this from you for our whole date!" James shouted. "Hello, I asked you out, and you accepted, and now you're-"  
  
"I only accepted because of that stupid dare, Potter! It was a cowardly thing to do, knowing I would never go out with you if it weren't for the... special circumstances, and you know it!"  
  
James' eyes flashed dangerously.  
  
"Lily…" he said, apparently at a loss for words. "I asked you out because I liked you. And knowing you would never say 'yes', I forced you to say 'yes'. Just give me a chance, will you?"  
  
"Potter… you don't have a chance," Lily said coldly. And with that, she got up, slammed her empty butterbeer bottle on the table, and walked out of the Three Broomsticks, never looking back.  
  
_What have I done?_ James thought gloomily.  
  
**A/N:** Poor, poor James. I know he would never let go of his pride like that in real life, but this is FICTION. So use your IMAGINATION. Okay? And leave a review, or I'll hex you. (Hey, I can rhyme!)  
  
Much love,

OutofAzkaban


	7. Chapter 7: Thoughts of a Broken Mind

**KarizmaShadow****- **Thank you so much! You don't know how much your support means to me!

**Writer007-** Thank you so much! And thanks for reviewing!

**A/N: **A special thanks to **writer007 **and **slytherin-nette******for helping figure out how to italicize words!

**To Be Young Again**

****

**Chapter 7: Thoughts of a Broken Mind**

James cursed himself silently as he lay in his bed. Lily had just walked out on him at the Three Broomsticks, and nearly half the school was there, listening to Lily and James' shouting match and watching them argue. _The entire population of Hogwarts will have some twisted version of the story by morning,_ James thought miserably.

Why, oh why did he have to go and lost his temper? He could have just kept his mouth shut, but no, he had to go off and yell at her. _And now look where it's landed you, _James told himself bitterly.

_I should have kept my temper. I should have told myself _"Suck it up" _and got on with it. But no, I had to yell at Lily, and now she hates me more than ever. Damn you, James, _he cursed himself.

_Why couldn't I just listen to what Lily was saying? She was right- she would have never gone out with me if it weren't for that stupid dare I gave her. She's right; I _am _a coward. I would never ask her to go out with me to her face after what happened last year, so I forced her to. Stupid thing to do; she'd just hate me even more. And she does, _James thought dejectedly as his stomach plummeted.

_Now I've screwed up all my chances with Lily, and she'll never have me anyway, _James thought without emotion. _What have I done?_

Now, the mind is a peculiar thing, and for some reason, James' thoughts switched from Lily to Remus and the anonymous note he received concerning James.

_I wonder if that note really is important, _James thought. _After all, Remus is the most mature Marauder and he looked really serious and worried. I wonder who that note was from. Someone must be intercepting my owls! But then why didn't Lily's note get intercepted? Why did I receive it?_ James thought.

_Because, you fool, _said a little voice in the back of his head, _Do you think the person cared whether or not you were going on a date? And if the letters between you and Lily _were _read, then would the person really care if you're going out with someone who obviously doesn't care about you?_

_Ouch. That hurt._

_But what if Remus was right? I mean, what if there really is someone trying to kill me? Who would it be? I haven't made myself any mortal enemies..._

_Have I?_

_Of course not.__ I may be popular and everything, but no one has ever been jealous enough to want to 'kill' me, have they?_

And then that nasty voice spoke again. _But what if it isn't jealousy?_

_Of course its jealousy, _James argued with himself, _what else would it be?_

_It could be something outside school, bird-brain, _said that little voice in the back of his head.

James decided to leave that issue alone. It was giving him a headache.

_So what am I going to do about Lily? _James wasn't the type of guy that gave up easily. He was used to having his way and getting what he wanted, so there was no reason that this should be any different than any other situation.

He couldn't force her into loving him like he had forced her into a date. It was wrong and he knew it. And it wasn't possible, either. She was strong, unlike him. He collapsed under pressure; did things just for show. She was smart, as he was. He and Sirius were top in their year. She was modest, and loyal; he wasn't. He had, as Lily had told him, an air-filled head. Then when it struck him.

He had to deflate his head.

**A/N: **Alright, I'm really sorry it was so short. I didn't have anything else to write, and I wanted to update as quickly as possible so that I could work on my other story, which unfortunately isn't flowing as easily as this one. Any advice/help would be greatly appreciated. Okay, if you haven't read the Author's Note, here's what's going on:

Lily and James are in a...situation, as you know. They are in their sixth year, and in their seventh is when they start going out, so here's the deal: I have to get to the point where they're going out, right? In their seventh year. So I'll have to speed this year up, so it won't be as detailed as I'd like. And the year's half over; Christmas holidays just passed (chapter one). So this year'll rush by a little more quickly than I'd (and I'm sure you'd) like, but it'll go on into seventh year.

Okay, I hope that cleared up some of your questions, and if you have more, just e-mail me!

Love ya all,

OutofAzkaban


	8. Chapter 8: Guilty Conscience

**LiVeThEmAgIc0286-** Thanks!  I tried to add you to my contacts list, but it wouldn't work.  Sorry!

****

**Anusha- **Thanks!

****

**Slytherin-nette-** Thanks for the incredibly long review and all the tips!  

**A/N:** Now, however mean Lily was to James, she's still a good and loyal girl with a conscience.  After all, she _did become Head Girl, didn't she?  Enjoy!_

**A very special thanks to slytherin-nette for the help and ideas you gave me!!!  Luvya!**

****

**A very special thanks to Amy for the ideas!**

****

****

**To Be Young Again**

****

**Chapter 7: Guilty Conscience**

Lily Evans lay in the Ravenclaw girl's dormitories in her four-poster bed, pretending to be asleep but actually deep in thought.

_Why did I blow up at Potter like that? _she thought.  It wasn't his fault, really.  Sure, she wouldn't have gone out with him if it weren't for the dare, but she didn't have to rub it in his face.  He probably already knew that and was trying to ignore it.

_Now Potter'll hate me, of course, I gave him reason to, and…" _

_And what? _said that nasty little voice in the back of her head.

_And, well…it's not fair.  I shouldn't just leave and forgot it ever happened.  It would be wrong. _She thought, staring at the ceiling.

_And I can't live with the guilt.  It was a mean thing to do.  No one deserves that kind of treatment, no matter how inflated their head is.  _She winced at the thought.

_And Potter will have to live with it too, and it's not a pleasant thing to live with, being rejected in such a brutal way.  Of course I've never experienced it, but-"_

_See? _said that nasty little voice.  _That's why you think you're superior to Potter and have the 'power' to reject him so harshly- you've never experienced being rejected by any boy, so you don't know what it feels like.   You do _know what you have to do, don't you?  Give Potter a chance.__

And Lily came to recognize that voice as her conscience.

*

_The stag galloped across the stretch, it's hooves touching the silvery-white mist.  It reached a halt at the bank of a lake.  A hiss sounded off in the distance.  A snake appeared, its long fangs bared and ready to strike.  It drew back, and-_

_A snow-white dove, purer than anything, swooped down from the sky and appeared at the stag's side.  The stag hadn't noticed much, just that the lake was beautiful at this time of night.  It didn't see the snake in the grass, or the dove.  The dove made a jabbing motion to the stag, and its attention was turned from the lake and the scenery to the dove.  It reared in surprise, then calmed._

_The dove turned to the snake, and before the stag could realize what was going on, the dove made a call more beautiful than anything, and made a motion to strike._

_And then, as the snake turned its unsightly head toward the stag, with all its defenses down, gazing at the dove, as it had some kind of hidden beauty rather than its physical one, the snake reared its head, and-_

_The dove, as if nothing else mattered, stepped between the stag and the snake, and-_

James Potter woke up, bemused and bewildered.

*

As James Potter awoke the next morning and saw the bags under his eyes, he was forced to remember his 'date.'  And the cause of his near-insomnia, Lily Evans.

He looked around the boys' dormitories, and found that all the Marauders had left their beds.  He jumped out of bed, ran a hand through his hair, then remembered his vow.  He raised a hopeless attempt to flatten his hair, but was unsuccessful.

Then he remembered his dream.  The thought of it perplexed him, and he didn't want a headache this early in the morning, so he let it drop. 

            "But what did it mean?" he wondered aloud before letting the subject drop.

            "What did _what mean, Jamesie?" asked a female voice from behind James._

            "What the-?" James whirled around.  Standing in the doorway to the boy's dormitories was none other than …

**A/N: **So how did you like it?  Sorry it took me so long to update; I've been really busy.  And I'm sorry the dream was crappy; I wrote it in a hurry.  I dunno why, I guess I was in one of those fast-typing moods, you know?  ^_^   And I need a name for that girl, if any of you have ideas.  Sorry I left it there, I know I shouldn't have; it's cutting it short, but I couldn't write anything until I had a name and I thought some of you would kill me if I kept it any longer.  So here's you short chapter.  Better than nothing, right? ~_^ Come on, be optimistic!  Oh, and due to a request, I'm gonna have the Marauders have their monthly adventure tonight, okay?  I know they haven't been doing much lately.  Please leave me a review!


	9. Chapter 9: The Morning After

**A/N: **Everyone, I hope you read my Author's Note after chapter 14.  This is chapter 9, with some slight changes.  The changes are for the better, I assure you.  If I've left anything out that was previously in chapter 9, please let me know.  I've changed Nikki's cronies a bit on purpose, so don't bother me with that.  Read on!

****

**To Be Young Again**

****

**Chapter 9: The Morning After**

            "What did _what mean, Jamesie?" asked a female voice behind him._

            "What the-" James whirled around.  Standing in the doorway to the boys' dormitories stood none other than Nikki Gryfan.  Nikki was in Gryffindor, but she acted like her true place was Slytherin.  She was known as the Gryffindor slut, and gave Gryffindor a bad name.  Well, not really, but she was the 'dark side' to Gryffindor.

Nikki and her two best- and only- friends, Vylette Snyder and Alicia Morono (who was in Slytherin, but was still part of Nikki's 'group'), strutted around like they owned the school, which was far from the truth.  They were hated by everyone, but refused to admit it.  Nikki had fiery blue eyes and long blond hair, and was very attractive on the outside, but the inside was ugly.

Everyone knew she had a crush on James (for some reason she preferred James over Sirius) but James refused to acknowledge it.  He didn't want anything to do with her, just like every other guy in school (except the Slytherins; they didn't care what was on the inside as long as the outside looked good.  You know.)

            "Nothing, Gryfan," James snarled.  "And _don't call me Jamesie, or you'll regret it."_

Nikki looked hurt, but quickly put on her 'bright, cheerful and happy' face again.  The one that said "I-have-no-worries-in-this-world-and-the-only-thing-that-matters-is-_me._

            "Aw, but James, don't you like the nickname?  All the other guys like the nicknames I give them."

            "I highly doubt it, unless 'all the other guys' meant 'all the Slytherins.'"

            "Well…" Nikki didn't know what to say to that.  She huffily walked away, tossing her hair as she went.

James left the dormitories.  He entered the Great Hall and found his usual spot with the Marauders.  He easily found his way into the conversation about the full moon.

James felt a pair of hands on his shoulders.

            "Get off me, Gryfan," James said through gritted teeth as he looked up at the owner of the hands.

            "We're in the same House, James," Nikki said, barely resisting the "-ie."  "You should call me by my first name."

            "Number one, _Gryfan_, is that maybe the Sorting Hat was on crack when he put you in Gryffindor, because everyone knows a slut like you should be in Slytherin."  There was a bit of cheering at this comment.  "And number two, I am _not, on any account, going to call you by your first name.  It disgusts me that I have any association with you."_

There was a stunned silence from Nikki.

            "Ouch," said Vylette.  A sharp look from Nikki shut her up.

Lily came and sat down next to James, looking, in James' opinion, like an angel.

            "Hi, guys," she said.  "Mind if I sit here?"

Sirius' jaw had hit the floor.  Remus raised an eyebrow.  Peter looked confused.

            "What?" Lily asked.

            "Uh, sure," said James.  He was grinning.

            "Um… Evans?" Sirius asked.

            "Lily," James corrected sternly.

            "Right… shouldn't you be at the Ravenclaw table?" he pointed.

            "Dumbledore doesn't care, now does he?" Lily shrugged it off.

            "Ooh, perfect prefect Lily Evans has a dark side after all," James teased.

            "Oh, shut up!" Lily said, and smacked him on the arm playfully.

            "Um… Black?" a voice said behind Sirius.

            "Watch this," Sirius whispered to James.  "Sirius does me fine, Miss Taylor," he said, looking behind him.

A pretty young girl with long brown hair and clear blue eyes stood behind him.

            "Okay… Sirius.  You can call me-"

            "Caitlin?" Sirius suggested, smiling.

            "You know my name?"

            "Of course.  A beauty like you had to be recognized."

Caitlin blushed deeply.  "Why, I'm flattered, Sirius."

            "Hey, meet me at the benches after Transfiguration," Sirius whispered to Caitlin.  She giggled and went back to her seat next to Katherine, smiling widely.  Her smile lit up her whole face.

James tuned out of the conversation.  They discussed this every month and nothing ever changed.  He listened to Nikki Gryfan, Alicia Morono and Vylette Snyder's conversation.  Alicia was saying loudly:

            "Drew… Drew… Drew…"

That was all James caught.  Alicia was obsessed with the fact that she was dating Drew Payne, a Slytherin seventh year.  Her friends had tried to tell her he was a bad guy, but she never listened and they gave up.  Drew smoked pot, flirted (and maybe did more than that) with every girl he met, and was rumored to be in some deep crap with Dark Magic.  But Alicia refused to see that.

Alicia Morono was totally concerned wit her appearance: her hair, her clothes, and her make up.  She was a big pain in the butt.

**A/N: **I know I left a bunch out, but oh well.  Live with it.  ~_^ You guys know what happened.  Alicia Morono and Drew Payne are based on real people: Alicia Herrera and Drew Cadwell.  Thanks for this awesome idea, Amy!

Coming up in chapter **17**:

End of the year exams

Leaving for summer holidays

And maybe a bit here and there

(You can e-mail me your review if FF won't let you review on the website.)

Heart,

~*OutofAzkaban*~


	10. Chapter 10: An Unexpected Visitor

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.  Characters belong to JK.  The scene/idea of this chapter belongs to the fan fiction author **kirakarin**.

Thanks to **CHERRI*ookami!  Thanks all for reviewing!**

****

**To Be Young Again**

**Chapter 10: An Unexpected Visitor**

Lily didn't know what to think.  Her plan hadn't been put into action yet, but it was going to as soon as she had gathered the guts to actually approach this guy.  She didn't know whether this guy would agree to it, although he had just a half a year back. ((**A/N: Does that give you a hint?))  Although, if she told this person that it was to spite James, he might agree.  **

It was wrong and Lily knew it, without help from her conscience.  She shouldn't cheat at this game, whatever it was…

_What the heck are you trying to do to me? _Lily shouted mentally at the so-called God or whatever was out there listening.  _Make me cheat at something I don't even know?_

Then Lily realized something.  _Why _was she trying to make James jealous anyway?  It's not like she fancied him, she just…

_Wants to get him back for what he did._

But what _did _he do?  Sure, he forced her to go out with him, but it's not like she didn't have a good time.  It started out great, and then she forbade herself to have fun, and sometimes your body obeys your mind.  Sometimes it doesn't.

But that time it did.  And if Lily hadn't forbidden herself to enjoy it, she really, truly would have.

That plan just is _not_ going to go into action.  I am _not bringing myself as low as that.  I have too much pride._

_I _will _give…James…a chance.  He deserves it after putting up with me._

And just like that, the plan came to a halt.

*

James glanced at his watch.  It read 6:50.  He grabbed his invisibility cloak, threw it on himself, and dashed out the door.

Sirius and Peter were waiting for him in the common room.  Remus had been escorted to the Shrieking Shack twenty minutes before.

            "C'mon," James muttered as he threw the clock over Sirius and Peter as well.  They ran out of the portrait hole, where the Fat Lady shrieked "Who's there?", but it didn't hinder them.  

The trio raced down seven flights of stairs to the entrance hall and out the door into the night.  Peter transformed, and then ran up to the Whomping Willow, dodging its ever-swaying branches, and pressed the knot with his paw.  The branches stopped making wild motions and the secret passageway was revealed.  James and Sirius, now a stag and a bear-like dog, followed the rat into the Shrieking Shack.

They found Remus already transformed, and so the stag, rat, dog and werewolf galloped, scurried, dashed and ran out into the night, just looking for something to do- animals to hunt, and things like that.

The night was beautiful and clear, and the full moon shone down upon the Marauders, a silver, glistening orb; its light creating a silvery path to and across the lake.

James galloped (**A/N:** Interesting choice of words isn't it? ^_~) along the path, his best friends in tow (**A/N: **Of course JAMES has to be in the lead.  Hehehe).

It was a cloudless night, and the Marauders hadn't had their adventure in a month, so they decided to spend their time that night around the lake, for that was where the sky was clearest (**A/N: DON'T tell me that was corny and stupid; I know.)**

*

Lily needed to take some time to sort out her muddled thought.  _I'll take a walk.  That'll help me clear my head, she thought._

She grabbed a hooded sweatshirt and threw it over her robes.  She tiptoed down the stairs to the entrance hall, and out into the night.   The air was warm, and a soft breeze was blowing.  Lily sighed contentedly.  _Perfect, she thought.  She took the path to the lake, because at night the lake was beautiful with the silvery light bouncing off of it, reflecting its beauty. _

The cool, breezy mist blowing off of the moonlit lake was just what Lily needed to think.  It cooled her body, and her brain.

Now to the thoughts.

_So why _do_ I want to make Potter jealous?  I mean, he has all those girls hanging all over him; he probably has all he wants.  He's rich, he's popular, and he's top in our year…what the heck is my motive?_

_Alright, _said the voice, _now it's my turn to pop in and give you my opinion._

_Shoot, _Lily replied.

_Well, I think that you _fancy _him.  Oh yes, you know you do._

Lily sighed.  _I did __have fun on our 'date', I really did.  I just refused to let it show, and when I realized I was enjoying myself, I got scared.  Scared out of my wits.  I needed time to think and regain myself.  So I refused to let it show to Potter, and I pretended that I had a million better things to be doing.  And I did a pretty good job of it, too, Lily thought with satisfaction._

Lily continued to walk along the moonlit path.  She heard hooves.  _What in the world could that be?  Thestrals, maybe?  I can't see anything…_

Then she saw what she wished she had never seen- a werewolf.

Lily couldn't think.  She stood rooted to the spot, eyes wide in fear and panic.  A werewolf was charging at her, and all she could do was stand there, staring at it?

_Move legs…come on…move, Lily…_she thought frantically, trying to get her legs to carry her to safety but this was one of those times when one's body doesn't obey one's mind.  The werewolf was drawing closer…

As a last, desperate attempt to reach safety, Lily opened her mouth to scream, knowing no one could hear her at this time of night.  Everyone was safe, asleep in their beds.  _Why, oh why did I have to pick this night for a walk?_

A familiar sound of hoof beats reached Lily's ear.  _Thestrals_?___ she thought wildly, looking around._

A gorgeous stag came out of nowhere, and was instantly at Lily's side.  The stag, much to Lily's surprise, transformed into James.  He clapped a hand over Lily's mouth.  Her muffled scream became an inquiry of "What?" as she was bewildered that James would be an Animagus, much less be out at this time of night with a werewolf.

James, transformed once more as a stag, brought Lily to safety in the bushes.  He then went to face the werewolf.

They had been gone for an awfully long time.  _More like five minutes, _Lily chided herself, _but it seemed like much longer._

Lily chose this moment, in her complete boredom sitting behind a bush (for who could have fun doing that?) to think.

_What the hell is Potter doing out at this time of night, and with a werewolf too?  Or did he just happen to be going for a __midnight__ stroll at the same time I was, and we happened to bump into each other?_

_And he's an Animagus…an unregistered Animagus…just like me…I never knew…_

_Well, DUH you never knew, _said that voice. (Lily decided to name it Bob, because it was beginning to annoy her and she thought it should have a proper name.  **A/N: **Inside joke.  Amy, if you're reading this, you'd know. ;) ) _ If he was an unregistered Animagus, he wouldn't be likely to just tell you, now would he?_

_I know, _Lily argued, _it just comes as a shock, that's all._

Just then, James emerged from wherever he was, and he looked concernedly at Lily.  

            "Hey, Evans, are you alright?"

            "Well, let's see," said Lily, in mock thought.  "I was almost attacked by a werewolf, then a stag came out of nowhere, and it turned into you, and then you turned back into a stag, and then you carried me back here.  You left me here for what seems like forever, and then you went off (gallivanting with that werewolf, no doubt) and then you come back, asking if I'm alright.  WHAT ABOUT AN EXPLANATION?"

            "Christ, Evans, calm down.  Now did you say I left you for 'what seems like forever'?  Now, why would it seem that long?  Did you miss me?" asked James, grinning.

            "I asked you for an explanation!" Lily shrilled.

            "And I don't have to give you one," said James coolly. (**A/N: That's the James we know!)**

Lily looked hurt and appalled.  She opened her mouth to retort, but James wasn't through talking just yet.

            "But I will.  Just because you witnessed all that.  But you have to promise not to tell anyone about this."

            "I will do no such thing!" said Lily indignantly.  "It's not up to you to decide what I tell my friends, or anyone else for that matter!"

            "Come on, Evans," James pleaded.  "I don't want everyone knowing that I'm an-" James cut himself off.

            "That you're a what?" Lily retorted.

            "An unregistered Animagus."

            "Oh, and I suppose all your friends are as well?  What do they turn into?" Lily asked, her eyes flashing.

James seemed to regain his strength.  "That I shall not say.  You can make me tell you that I am an unregistered Animagus, but you can't make my betray me friends.  You're much different that I thought you were, Evans." (**A/N:** Go James!)

            "Fine," said Lily huffily.  "You owe me another explanation.  What are you doing out at this time of night?  And with a werewolf?"

James' face showed a hint of a smile.  "And I could ask what _you are doing out this late at night as well, Evans," he said easily._

Lily flushed, though the night did not show it.  "I was, uh…thinking.  Taking a walk."

            "I see."

Lily gathered herself to retort, "And what about that werewolf?"

            "What about it?"

            "What were you doing, at this time of night, gallivanting with a werewolf?"

            "That," said James coldly, "is my business."

            "Fine," said Lily grumpily.  "Then I'll tell the whole school that you're an unregistered Animagus."

For once, fear flooded James' face.  "Please…don't…Evans, come on…please don't tell…"

            "Then you tell me what that werewolf and you were doing."

James sighed a defeated sigh.  "That was Remus.  He's a werewolf.  Alright?  We transform once a month to keep him company."

Lily's face showed shadows of a smile.  _Like a true friend, _she thought, admiring.  _Wait, what am I thinking? _

James' voice broke her thoughts.  He sounded scared, and his voice was pleading.  "You won't tell anyone, will you?  Sirius, Remus, Peter, and I will be in so trouble if anyone finds out."

_What a cute puppy dog face, _Lily thought.  _Ahhh__!  Stop thinking these thoughts!_

Lily snorted.  "I dunno, Potter.  It's a pretty big piece of news, don't you think?"

            "Evans, be reasonable.  I trusted you enough to tell you-"

Lily snorted derisively.  "No, you told me because I witnessed it all, not because you 'trusted' me."

            "You still won't tell, will you?"

            "I don't know, Potter.  It's a big decision."  And with that, Lily stood up and left.

**A/N: **Okay, not as long as I hoped it would be, because I was gonna add more, but I decided to save that for next chapter.  So it won't be as long as this one, because it'll just be an addition to this chapter that was never added.  Am I making sense?  I hope so.  And if anyone knows any names for girls (I already have like, 30) please let me know.  My friend doesn't know what to call her main character, so I need as many names as possible from all you guys so she'll have more to choose from, okay?  Alright, you know the routine, read and review!  Luvya!

*much, much love*

Sunshine*girl-Hermione


	11. Chapter 11: Chances and Caitlin

**Cherri Ookami- **Well, you'll see. ~_^

**BlackLupin- **You're an angel!  Thank you so much!  And how did you guess?!  Am I that obvious?  

**Ila**** Mandala- Hi Akki!  You guessed it!  And why does everyone call me Mimsters?!**

**peachgirl1608- **Alright, I'll ease up on him.

Disclaimer:  I DO NOT OWN.  JK DOES.  Oh, and Caitlin owns herself, I suppose.  My character, her suggestion/name.  Get it?  Got it?  Good.

**A/N: **I'm sorry that this is so short, but I wanted to update before some of you barbequed my head and set it on skewers and…yeah.  So here's the next chapter.  Enjoy!

****

**To Be Young Again**

****

**Chapter 11: Chances and Caitlin**

Lily sank into her bed after her…experience with James.  And Remus, for that matter.  After James had entrusted her with the fact that he and his friends were illegal, well…that would be _serious backstabbing if she told anyone about it.  It was the loyal thing to do, after all, and James, Sirius and Peter being the Gryffindors they were, rushed to their friend's side.  __You gotta admire that.  Lily smiled._

            _So you're not going to tell anyone? "Bob" asked._

            _Of course not! Lily mentally exclaimed.  __I would never betray my…friends, she thought, accepting the idea with some hesitance._

            _AHA! "Bob" exclaimed.  _So you're giving Potter a chance, just like I suggested.  _(**A/N: **I know that "Bob" is playing the role of a person rather than a voice in a 16-year old girl's head, but hey, it's my story!)_

            _James, Lily corrected.  _Not "Potter."  And of course I'm giving him a chance.__

_            He gave me many._

*

The next morning after breakfast with the Ravenclaws, Lily sat with the Marauders.  James and Sirius were playing a game of wizard's chess before classes, and Remus and Peter were cheering them on.

James, Sirius, Remus and Peter all gaped when they saw Lily Evans come to sit down with them.  James however, was the first to close his mouth.  A knowing look overcame his face.

            "Uh…Evans?  What the heck are you doing here?" Sirius asked, his face puzzled.

            "I've come to join you," Lily replied.  "You don't mind, do you?"

James jumped up and moved over in his seat.  "Here, you can sit here, Lily."

Remus raised his eyebrows.  "On first-name terms now, are we?  Why the sudden change?" he asked, a grin threatening to overcome his face.

James' cheeks flushed.  "Well, Moony, um…last night, um…Lily here ran into us and…" he trailed off.

Remus paled.  "You mean…she ran into me?  And I…oh God…"

Lily sort-of smiled.  "It's alright, Remus.  Lucky James was there, huh?"

Sirius interrupted.  "Uh, I'm still confused.  Why are we all happy-jolly?  And Evans-"

            "Lily," James automatically corrected.

            "Whatever," Sirius said.  "What are you doing at our table?  Are we like, friends now or something?"  Sirius was still apparently confused.

            "Yes, we're _friends_," Lily said.  "That is-" she glanced around the table "if it's alright with all of you?"

            "I don't mind," Peter squeaked.

            "Neither do I," Remus spoke.

            "Alright, fine," Sirius grumbled.  "Now let's get back to our game."

James drew up a chair for Lily with his wand.  He set it down beside him.  "Sit," he said rather plainly.  Lily sat.

            "You're not going to tell anyone, are you?" James asked whispered.

            "Of course not," Lily replied, smiling.

            "Thanks," he whispered.

Lily didn't say anything; rather, she smiled and turned back to the game.  "James, your move," she commented. 

            "Huh?  Oh, right," James said, turning his attention back to the game he was previously losing.

*

The rest of the day passed by in similar fashion.  No, there weren't continuous games of chess, but Lily hung out with the Marauders, and they didn't seem to mind, James least of all.  Sirius minded most, but he kept his mouth shut for his best friend's sake.

The Marauders sat at the Gryffindor table, while Lily sat with the Ravenclaws.  It was dinnertime, and although James would rather sit by Lily than away from her, the rest of the Marauders held him back.  He wasn't allowed at the Ravenclaw table, and his friends wouldn't let him suffer humiliation, being the "cool" Gryffindor that he was.

Caitlin, a Gryffindor sixth year girl who despised Nikki and her gang of girls, approached Sirius with the slightest hesitation.  She took a deep breath and moved toward him.  She moved so Sirius could see her.

            "Hi, Sirius," she said coyly, flashing him a beautiful smile.  She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. 

            "Watch this," Sirius whispered to James, grinning.  "Hey, Caitlin, right?"

Caitlin giggled and blushed furiously.  "I'm honored that you remembered my name.

Sirius flashed Caitlin his infamous grin.  "Of course I remembered.  I've had my eye on you for weeks."

Caitlin obviously wasn't prepared for this reaction.  She stuttered.  "Y-you…_have_?"

            "Of course," Sirius replied.  "Someone with your beauty-" Caitlin flushed- "had to be noticed."

            "Why, I'm flattered, Black."

            "Call me Sirius."

There was a pause in which James chose to say, "Oy, Padfoot.  Your turn."

Sirius sighed, whispered to Caitlin, "_Meet me after Transfiguration outside on the benches" and turned his attention to the game._

*

The Marauders and Lily approached the Transfiguration classroom.  A tall figure with a long silver beard greeted them.

            "Ah, hello Professor Dumbledore," said James with reverence.  Professor Dumbledore was one of the few teachers James respected.  He absolutely hated Professor James Castillo, who, besides having the same first name as James Potter, was entirely too perky.  He was the optimistic one, the one who always looked on the bright side of things, who was always happy-jolly, smiling…it made James gag.  Marcus Kettleburn, the Care of Magical Creatures teacher, was a decent man, and he knew a great deal about magical creatures, so James didn't mind him.  The other professor he liked was Professor Sylvia Snape, who a couple years ago, discovered she was Severus Snape's long-lost sister, much to the resentment of Severus Snape.  (**A/N: Thanks to Dana and Dragongurl for the names!)**

Once inside the Transfiguration classroom, seated and ready to begin class, James decided to ask Lily what had cost him a great deal of thinking.  

            "Lily?  How would you like to become a Maruader?" 

**A/N: **Well, that's all for right now.  Hope you all liked it, and please leave me a review!

**BlackLupin****- If you don't like your character, or have an idea about what she's gonna do in the future, just e-mail me at outofazkaban91@san.rr.com or say so in your review.  **

143!


	12. Chapter 12: Three Unregistered Animagi

**Dragongurl4- **I know you weren't expecting that.  I wasn't either.  I guess James just has a mind of his own, huh?  ^_~

****

**BlackLupin- **Holy poopies that was a LONG review!  WOW!  I'm amazed!  Thank you!  You're welcome for using your name, my fellow Sirius-lover, and besides, I needed something else in this story.  Thank you!  

****

**To Be Young Again**

****

**Chapter 12: Three Unregistered Animagi**

Lily awoke the next morning to her dorm-mate shaking her.  She opened her eyes slowly and they widened at the figure standing above her.

            "Lily, Lily, guess what?!" Caitlin shrieked.

            "What is it, Caitlin?"

            "Guess who has a date with the one and only Sirius Black?!"

Lily gasped.  "No way!"

            "Well, he hasn't asked me out yet; he just said to meet him by the benches.  And you fell asleep during Transfiguration," Caitlin needlessly pointed out.

Lily groaned.  "Tell me something I don't know."

            "Well, that would rule out…no it wouldn't, so I'm not going to say.  But James said to talk to him."

            "I will.  But I am _not becoming a Marauder.  No way."_

            "I know.  But he really wants you to."

            "I don't care.  Sirius doesn't want me to anyway-"

            "Hey, now don't go blaming this on Sirius!  He didn't do anything!  He-"

            "I know, I know," Lily said wearily.  "I wasn't.  But he and I share one thing, at least.  The one and only thing: we both don't want me to become a Marauder."

Their conversation was interrupted by James, who just 'happened' to be glancing at Lily.  He stood up from his desk and walked over.  

            "Yes, Lily?"

            "Huh?  I didn't call you."

            "I know, but it looked like you needed help transfiguring that porcupine quill there," James indicated the porcupine quill lying innocently on Lily's desk, as if unaware it was causing the future Head Girl any harm.

Lily sighed.  "I know, I know.  I just suck at Transfiguration."

            "Well, that, milady, is what I'm good for.  Observe."  James muttered a spell under his breath, and immediately the porcupine quill turned into a feather.

Lily was amazed.  "Wow!  How did you do that?"

James smiled.

*

            "So Lily, are you going to be a Marauder?  It's a great honor, you know."

            "James, we've been through this before.  I am _not, I repeat, __not, going to join the Marauders.  One, I'm a Ravenclaw.  Two, you're all guys and I'd feel a little uncomfortable.  Even though you guys are great friends, I'm not sure I would feel exactly 'at home' gallivanting off every month with a stag, a rat, a dog, and a werewolf."_

            "_Shhhhh!"  James whispered.  "There might be someone listening!"_

            "Oh James, don't be silly.  It's just us in the library," Lily responded stoutly.  "And three," she continued, "if I'm going to be Head Girl, I can't go around causing mischief and mayhem.  I'm not as much of a troublemaker as all of you guys."

            "Alright fine."  James glanced over his shoulder.  He had that prickly feeling on the back of his neck that someone had heard about the three unregistered Animagi running around Hogwarts in Lily's earlier sentence.

            "James," Lily said in an exasperated tone, "there's no one there.  Chill."

James nodded.  "Okay," he said a little uneasily.

What he, or Lily, was unaware of was the person lurking behind the nearest bookshelf, listening to their every word.

**A/N: **I'm sorry it's so short, but someone really wanted me to upload another chapter.  I was going to tell you who that "someone" was, but I decided to make this short and tell you in the next chapter. 

What'll happen in the next chapter:

-We'll find out who that "someone" is

-We'll also find out if Caitlin really gets that date she wanted with Sirius.

I have to go now; got a speech to write and it has to be good if I'm gonna win the election.  Ciao! 

143!

Lotza love,

OutofAzkaban


	13. Chapter 13: Rita Skeeter

**Dragongurl4- **Told you what, exactly?!

**BlackLupin- **Who loves ya?!  Every time I see a review, I know it's from you!  (Hey, I can rhyme!)  LOL THANK YOU!!!  And your guesses of the eavesdropper were both incorrect.  Nice try!

****

**To Be Young Again**

****

**Chapter 13: Rita Skeeter**

Caitlin tightened her coat around her shoulders.  It was mid-April, but the weather was still cold.  She was sitting on the bench waiting for Sirius.  In her eagerness, she had been early, while Sirius was, like everything else about him, _fashionably late.  She looked around the deserted area.  No one was there._

            "Hey," said a soft voice in her ear.  

Caitlin jumped.  "Sirius!"  she exclaimed.  "I didn't see you!"

            "Of course not," said Sirius, as if no one ever saw him, when it was actually quite the contrary.

            "So," he said slowly, "I suppose you know the reason I asked you to meet me here?"

            "Enlighten me," Caitlin said mischievously.

            "Well, how would you like to go out with a handsome bloke like me tomorrow?"

            "_Like you?"  Caitlin asked, unable to hide her ever-growing smile.  "Or with you?"_

            "With me, of course.  No one else is as handsome as me," Sirius said, only half-joking.

            "I think we can arrange that," Caitlin replied, putting her hand through the crook in his arm.

*

Lily entered the Great Hall at dinner and was met with every eye on her face, suspiciously examining it for clues.  Lily could feel every pair of eyes on her face.  James, Sirius, Remus and Peter walked in behind her, and were met with the same results.

Lily walked over to James and Arabella at the Ravenclaw table.  _"What's going on?" she hissed.  _"Why is everyone staring at me?" _ _

Jane wordlessly handed Lily a piece of parchment.  Lily took it without question.  As she scanned the article, she gasped and her eyes widened in shock.

            "_James!"  she hissed.  "__Sirius!  Guys!  Come here!" Lily beckoned._

            "Yeah, what is it?"  James asked.

Lily thrust the article into his hands.  James did the same thing Lily did.

_Illegals Among Us?_

_By Rita Skeeter_

_Everyone knows James Potter and Sirius Black- the popular, intelligent Gryffindor heartthrobs.  Well, there may be more to them than that._

_A secret source (whose name shall not be revealed) has informed attractive blonde, Rita Skeeter, 17, that James Potter, the very same James Potter we know, was talking to none other than Lily Evans, a Mudblood Ravenclaw sixth year in a corner of the library._

_Potter and Evans mentioned how Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and even stout, unintelligent Peter Pettigrew are all unregistered Animagi.  Is this true?  And what forms do these students take?_

Much to Lily's surprise, James hissed, "You-told-?"

But his wasn't the only voice that spoke.  Sirius at the same time shouted, "What?!"

Lily and James both started with explanations, but to different people. 

            "Whoa, whoa, whoa," said Remus, holding his hands up.  "One at a time.  James, you first."

            "What, Sirius?"

            "How.  Does.  She.  Know?" Sirius asked.

            "Apparently a 'secret source' told her," little Peter squeaked.  Sirius sent him a death glare and he shut up.

            "Ask her," said James venomously, nodding toward Lily.

            "What?!  What did I do?"  Lily asked, bewildered.

            "You told her, didn't you?  Rita Skeeter. I know none of my fellow Marauders would tell and I haven't known you as long as I have them," James spat.

            "So that automatically makes me 'The Betrayer'?"  Lily felt her anger rising.  "I know you and I haven't known each other long, James, but you're my friend!  I wouldn't go breaking a promise I made!"

            "What promise?"  James said poisonously.  "If I remember correctly, you just left me hanging that full moon night and walked away."

            "You… you…" Lily didn't finish her sentence.  She stormed out of the Great Hall.

            "Lily, you didn't eat dinner!"  Jane called behind her, but Lily didn't look back.  She headed to the Ravenclaw common room.  Arabella followed.

_I've got you now, Lily Evans, _thought the same spy from the library.

**A/N: **Haha, I'm evil, I know.  I'll give you a hint about the 'mysterious spy': it's not Rita Skeeter (that mad cow LOL).  Can you guess?

REVIEW!

All my love,

OutofAzkaban


	14. Chapter 14: Love Hate Relationship

**A/N: **I'm so INCREDIBLY sorry for not updating for so long, but on Saturday, September 20th, my computer crashed and I just got it back up (although with no Internet…*sob*).  But now it's up and here's the update; I would have gotten the chapter uploaded on that Saturday, but I couldn't and now I had to re-type everything, so… yeah.  Sorry about the delay!

**To Be Young Again**

****

**Chapter 14: Love/Hate Relationship**

            "Lily, wake up!"  A young girl with curly brown hair, gray eyes, and three piercings in each ear tried to pull Lily out of bed by her feet, but was unsuccessful.  She knew the exact line that would drag her friend out of bed.

            "Lily, you'll be la-a-a-ate!" she sang.  

Lily moaned and put her pillow over her head.  Frankly, today she didn't care if she was late.

            "We must resort to last resorts!" said that same sing-song voice, to no one in particular.  The next thing Lily knew, she was drenched.

            "Amanda!"  Lily shouted.  "Why'd you do that?  Now I'm all wet.  And to make it worse, awake!"

            "You wouldn't wake up," said Amanda simply.  "And you have to take a shower anyway, so it doesn't matter if you're wet," she said matter-of-factly.  "Shower.  Now."

Grumbling, Lily headed to the shower.

*20 minutes later*

            "Lily!  No time for blow-drying!  Let's go!"

Lily sighed, dropped the blow-dryer, grabbed her book bag, and ran out of the common room with wet curls.

            "What…do…we…have?" Lily asked breathlessly.

            "Charms," Amanda whispered, out of breath.

*

But during Charms, Lily's favorite and best subject, Lily's mind was elsewhere.  On a certain black-haired, hazel-eyed someone.

_How dare he accuse me of telling someone? _Lily thought.  _Especially a cow like Rita Skeeter._  I'm on my way to becoming Head Girl, and I wouldn't do something as dishonorable as betrayal.__

            "Miss Evans?  Miss Evans?"

Lily lifted her head.

"I'm sorry, Professor.  What was the question?"

            "Never mind."  He turned to choose someone else.

Lily flushed.  Nikki Gryfan caught her eye, and (Lily had no idea why) smirked.  

And then she caught James' eye.  She looked at him with utter hatred; the same look she had given him years before.  To her surprise, she caught a… _hurt look in his eye, before he quickly masked it._

Lily turned her gaze away from his face and focused her attention instead on a Professor Flitwick, determined to keep her mind in this world and not on James.

*

Caitlin awoke Lily at 7:00 on Saturday morning.

            "Merlin, Caitlin!  Can't a person get any sleep around here?"  Lily asked.  Then she realized who she was talking to.  "CAITLIN?!  How did you get into the Ravenclaw dormitory?  You're a Gryffindor!"

            "Bella and Manda let me in," said Caitlin dismissively.  "So, which outfit looks better?"

Lily was a person who could put two and two together.  

            "HE ASKED YOU OUT?!"

Caitlin smiled.  Yup.  So, which outfit?"

Lily ended up picking the black spaghetti-strap dress with red stripes going diagonally across it.  It ended at Caitlin's knee, and had a slit up the side.  It looked great with her dark hair.

            "The dress.  Definitely," Lily chose.

            "Okay, thanks," Caitlin replied.

There was a swooshing sound, and a hawk owl flew through the dormitory window and landed on Lily's bed.  _I wonder who its from, Lily thought.  She curiously untied the letter from the owl's leg._

            _Lilykins__, it read,_

_Meet me at the Prefects' bathroom.  I have to tell you something._

_Your favorite guy,_

_James Potter_

            "That egotistical…little…read it!" Lily sputtered, handing Caitlin the letter to read.

            "I agree," Caitlin said.

            "Really?" Lily was surprised.  "Most girls dating his best friend would think he was all that.  But not you."

            "Thanks, I think."

Lily picked up a piece of parchment and a quill and a piece of parchment.  She wrote:

            _Potter-_

_I don't know what kind of sick joke you're planning, but I won't be a part of it.  Call me Lilykins again, and I swear I will hex your sorry butt from here to Kingdom Come._

She tied the letter to the owl's leg and watched it soar.

*

_Hey, it's Firebolt! _James thought.  His heart quickened its pace.  _He's got an answer!_

James' heart plummeted into a bottomless pit as he read Lily's letter.  He gritted his teeth.

            "Fine," he said.  "Fine.  I don't care."

But he knew he did.  He was hopelessly in love with the redhead.

*

Sirius waited in the Gryffindor Common Room.  _What takes girls so freakin' long to get dressed? He thought._

Just then, Caitlin came out of the girls' dormitory, looking like an angel.  To Sirius, anyway.  Her black, open-toed, high-heeled shoes went well with her dress, which had a bit of a low neckline.  Her hair, done by Lily, was in beautiful curls that cascaded down her shoulders and back.

"Shall we?" Sirius asked, offering his arm.

"We shall," Caitlin replied, taking his arm once again.

*

They entered Honeydukes, where Sirius disappeared for five minutes and came back with a huge bag of Honeydukes' best sweets.  Caitlin opened it and gasped.

            "Wow," she breathed, taking in the smell of the most expensive candy.  "Sirius…thank you…"

Sirius shrugged.  "It's for you," he stated stupidly.

"Thank you," Caitlin repeated.  Sirius took her hand and they left the sweet-shop, where the warm sunshine greeted them.  It was early June, and final exams were coming.

And then who should they see but James Potter.  Caitlin's warm blue eyes hardened and turned to cold ice.

            "Hello, Prongs," Sirius acknowledged with a wave of his hand.

            "Padfoot, Caitlin," James nodded.

But Caitlin, instead of returning the greeting, she glared.

            "For your information, _Potter, Lily thinks you're some sort of sick, ego-maniac who's plotting a sick joke.  You might as well pretend I'm a wall if you want to talk to Lily __or me," she finished huffily._

Sirius gave James a _what-the-heck-is-going-on _look.  He then shrugged.

Caitlin stormed off into the nearest building, which she didn't notice was the Shrieking shack.  Sirius decided to play a trick on his girlfriend.  Just for the fun of it.

Caitlin entered the Shrieking Shack, not noticing where she was going.  After she walked in and the door slammed after her, she thought, _great_.

Then she saw Sirius walk in.  She shrugged.  _If he wants me, he'll look for me, she thought. _

After a while of absolute silence, Caitlin started getting nervous.

            "Uh, Sirius?  Siri, where are you?"  No answer.  "Sirius… Sirius, this isn't funny."  Still more silence.  "SIRIUS?!"

Tears crept to her eyes.  She knew she was being silly, but she also knew of the Shrieking Shack's reputation of being haunted.  Caitlin did not believe ghosts could really harm a person, but other than that… in the wizarding world, anything could happen.  She couldn't see, but not by her tears.  It was pitch dark.

All of a sudden, Sirius jumped from the shadows.  Caitlin shrieked.  

            "Shh, Caitlin, calm down, it's me, it's Sirius," Sirius said in a comforting tone.  Caitlin's breathing and heart rate returned to normal.

Sirius got a weird look in his eye, one he never got with any other girl.

Sirius put his lips against hers.  It started out as a gentle kiss, but became increasingly more passionate.  Caitlin wrapped her arms around Sirius' neck, and he wrapped his arms around her waist.

They broke apart, their heads spinning with exhilaration.  Sirius had never felt this way with any other girl in his life, and it scared him.

And without knowing why, he asked, "Caitlin?  Will you be my girlfriend?"

And Caitlin said, "Yes."

**A/N: **Caitlin, I hope you're satisfied.  ~_^ I'm sorry to report, guys, that it might take a little longer to update than usual.  Not longer than last time, hopefully.  I've already written like, 2 pages front and back for the next chapter, so… *sigh* Mrs. Smith is so evil.  Anyway, I hope you all forgive me, and I'll update sooner if you review! I swear it helps me write faster!  Ciao!

~*OutofAzkaban*~


	15. Chapter 15: So Fragile It May Break

**To Be Young Again**

****

****

**Chapter 15: So Fragile It May Break**

            "Huh?" Lily Evans asked out loud during Transfiguration on Monday.  A note had floated in front of her face as she was dozing.

_Oh, _she thought bitterly, _it's from Potter._  She glanced his way.  His wand was poking out from his robe sleeve and he was so concentrated that he didn't notice Lily staring at him.

            "Yes, Miss Evans?" Professor Dumbledore asked Lily at her outburst with a twinkle in his eye.

            "N-Nothing," Lily stuttered, turning red.  She unfolded the note and read:

_            Lily-of-the-valley,_

_I'm sorry for whatever I did.  I wasn't planning anything of the sort you thought I was, I swear.  I just wanted to- _Here he scribbled something out.

_Anyway, I was wondering if you would meet me in here after class.  There's something I have to say._

_            J.P._

Lily smiled faintly.  Her reply consisted of two letters. 

_O.K._

Lily levitated the note back to James.  He read it, and grinned the biggest grin a fool in love could manage.

*An hour later*

Sirius, Remus, and Peter watched Lily gather her things and wait for James by her desk.  They signaled the rest of the class.  And attacked.

*

Lily was being shoved out the door by a mob of students.  Someone grabbed her arm and dragged her out.  The only person left inside the classroom was James Potter.  That's all Lily saw before the door was shut and locked.

Lily banged on the door after the crowd had dispersed. 

            "James, let me in," she called.  "JAMES!"

She pounded on the door right when it opened.  She fell on her face.  A hand pulled her up.  She looked at the room in awe and amazement.

The lights were dimmed.  Rose petals and- was that glitter?  Mist?- some magical substance much like a glittery mist were softly falling from the ceiling in a swirl, but not hitting the floor- sort of floating.  A small vase of roses sat on a small table set for two.

            "Wow," Lily breathed.

            "Like it?" a voice whispered in her ear.

            "James, I love it!  How did you do it?"

            "Tranfigured a couple things here and there.  I noticed you called me by my first name three times in a row," he commented.

            "Slip of the tongue.  It won't happen again," Lily reassured, suddenly cold.

            "Uh-huh," James said sarcastically.

            "So," Lily was eager to cut to the chase, "what did you want to tell me?"

            "Uh, well…" James seemed to lose his cool, "um…Lily, remember our first year?  The train?"

            "I do," Lily said.  (**A/N: Omen of a wedding…sorry, I had to comment on that…)**

            "Well, uh, I just said that to you because…er, I didn't want you to know that I had the, uh, slightest crush on you."

Lily raised an eyebrow.

            "But, Lily, that crush grew," James continued, before Lily could say anything and break the flow of his words. "By fifth year, I couldn't keep my eyes off your angelic face."

Lily allowed a smile to grace her features.

            "And, well, I'm sorry about the way I've been acting to you and acting in general.  I was just showing off for you.  I didn't care about any of the other girls I dated, I swear.  The only person I wanted to be with was you."

And he was moving closer to Lily, and she allowed him.

            "Do you forgive me?" he whispered.

Lily nodded.  And their lips met.

Lily kissed James back with equal passion…and then pushed him away.  

"I can't," she whispered.  James could see the tears welling up in her eyes.  And she fled.

*

In the girls' dormitories, Lily lay on her bed, soaking her pillow with salty tears.  How could she let James kiss her like that?  And kiss him back?  _And then push him away?_

It was a horrible, scummy thing to do, give him false hope or whatever he was looking for.

_Now I'll never be Head Girl, _Lily thought miserably.  _Because I did such a horrible thing.  And I haven't studied.  Final exams are in two weeks.  But HOW can I study with James on the brain?_

_Oh, I have to study, though, and since Transfiguration is my worst subject, well… I suppose I could start with that._

Lily dragged out her book from her book bag and started muttering an incantation, trying to transfigure her pillow into a quill. 

 "Come on," she muttered in between incantations.

Suddenly there was a noise outside Lily's dorm room.  "Oof!" it said.

Lily went to go see what had interrupted her studying.  She opened the door and there was James Potter, sprawled on the ground.

            "James!" she hissed.  "What are you doing here?"

He winced.  "What else?" he whispered.  "I came to find you."  He winced again, and placed a hand to his side.

Lily's eyes softened, as well as her expression.  "James, are you alright?"

            "I think so."  He tried to stand up.  "No."

            "What happened?"  Lily asked, approaching him.

            "Stupid staircase turned all smooth and I slid down.  Don't laugh," he added threateningly, as Lily hurried to stifle her giggle.

            "Here, let me help," she offered.

*

Caitlin floated through the day.  She had that glow about her, the one that only comes from inside.  She smiled throughout the day, as if her face couldn't bear to do anything else, even when she was jeered at by the Slytherins.

            "Caitlin, are you on something?" A very concerned friend, Katherine, asked her.

            "I'm fine, Katie," she said.  "Why would you think otherwise?"

            "Well, let's see," Katherine began ticking each observation off her fingers, "you didn't speak to anyone all day, you've been…waltzing with yourself, one might call it, you've been smiling at Nikki and her posse, who I might add, is your worst enemies, and you've had this dreamy look on your face all morning," she finished.

            "Oh Katherine, don't be silly," Caitlin replied.  "There is such a thing as bliss in this world…"

            "Okay, so who's the lucky guy?" Katherine asked.

            "Sirius Black," Caitlin responded dreamily.

            "Sirius Black?" Katherine repeated.  "_The Sirius Black?"_

            "Of course," Caitlin answered vaguely.  "Who else?"

            "Caitlin!" Katherine shrieked.  "I'm so happy for you!  Why didn't you tell me?"

            "Sorry," Caitlin replied.  She spotted someone.  "Oy, Lily!"

Lily rushed up to Katherine and Caitlin.  "Hi, guys."

            "Sirius asked Caitlin to be his girlfriend," Katherine informed Lily.

Lily's eyes grew wide.  "No way!  When did this happen?"

            "Friday night," Caitlin answered.

            "Come on," said Katherine, suddenly bored with the conversation.  "Let's go eat breakfast.  I'm starved." 

*

Nikki Gryfan approached James like a cat, slowly creeping.  She suddenly, as all cats do, pounced.

            "Hi Jamsie," she flirted.

            "What now?" James asked in a clearly exasperated tone. 

            "Are we still on for Hogsmeade?" she asked.

James sighed irritably.  "Gryfan, that was months ago and besides, I never said yes."

            "Well, it's not too late," Nikki purred.

_*Flashback*_

_            "So," James asked Lily, "why are you helping me?  I mean, I could get back to __Gryffindor__Tower__ alone, you know."_

_            "I know," Lily replied, "but it's not really human if you leave an injured person lying where they are.  Ever heard of the Good Samaritan?" Lily asked, who had gone to Sunday School as a child._

_            "The who?"_

_            "Never mind.  Anyway, I'm just helping you because it's the right thing to do, that's all.  Then you're on your own."_

_            "Lily, will you go out with me?"_

_            "Definitely not."_

_            "Give me a chance."_

_            "No."_

_            "You didn't seem to mind after Transfiguration," noted James, a smile creeping onto his face._

_            "That was then, this is now.  I don't care for you James.  I don't see how I can make this clear to you.  You keep chasing me and frankly, I don't want to be chased.  Especially not by you."_

_James said nothing._

_            "This has been going on for years, and it's going to stop.  Right here, right now.  I mean it, James.  No more."_

_This time James spoke.  "Why don't you look me in the eye and say it?"_

_Lily lifted her head and peered into those hazel eyes.  "I… don't want you to…come after me.  Let me go.  Please," she said with difficulty.  Tears were welling up in her eyes, but she forbade them to fall.  _

_            "You know I can't."_

_            "Right now, Potter."_

_            "Can't we stay friends?"_

_            "I don't want anything to do with you, and I mean it.  Why don't you go snog someone else, as I know that's what you're looking for."_

_And Lily slammed the door in his face._

_*End of flashback*_

            "Sure, Nikki.  Why not?  I've always found you attractive," James said, making sure Lily was watching.  He slinked his arms around Nikki's waist.

Lily turned away and ran, tears pouring down her cheeks.

**A/N: **Wow, updating twice in one day.  I'm a busy bee, aren't I?  LOL Well I hope you liked it!  I know it was really sad.  Here's what's going to happen in the next chapter:

Caitlin and…guess who? will have a fight

Final exams are coming up!  Probably next chapter

Everyone will leave for the holidays, I believe

Ok, I think the next chapter's gonna be a long one, so brace yourself!  (The key word is _'think'.)_

I didn't re-read this chapter, so ignore the typos, please!

And have you guessed who the mysterious 'secret source' is yet?  Come on, it can't be that hard!  ~_^

Until next time,

OutofAzkaban


	16. Chapter 16: Tricks, Deceit, and Heartbre...

**Moonlightgirl*ChoChang- **I have to ask you something, but I don't wanna embarrass you in front of everyone or anything so I'll just e-mail you.  Thanks for reviewing; I thought you had forgotten about me!

****

**BlackLupin- **I said it wasn't Nikki?!?!  I don't remember saying that…  Oh well.  Thanks for the long review!  Katherine isn't 'eyeing Mr. Black', as you put it, but…I dunno.  Maybe it's a thing with best friends and that's how she knows or something… I know!  Lily's so stubborn not to accept James but I guess she doesn't want to destroy her reputation or something…Hmm…~_^ Oh yeah, and they are allowed to leave the school premises, of course they are!  Well, on holidays anyway…maybe this was a special privilege from the teachers…

**Peachgirl1608- **Well, I'm glad.

**SjabRox- **Thanks for reviewing!

**Dragongurl4- **Thanks for reviewing!

****

**To Be Young Again**

****

**Chapter 16: Tricks, Deceit, and Heartbreak**

Lily did not need Caitlin, Amanda, Arabella, Jane, or even Nikki herself to tell her what had happened at Hogsmeade.  She knew.  And it was all thanks to Katherine, the tech-freak.

Katherine had charmed, with special permission from Dumbledore, a Muggle video camera.  She borrowed Arabella's invisibility cloak and slipped into Hogsmeade undetected.  She had later taken it off at The Three Broomsticks to get a butterbeer.  She videotaped James and Nikki's entire date without them knowing anyone was watching them.

All this was done without Lily's knowledge.  This is how it happened:

            "Lily, come here!" Arabella tugged on Lily's arm.

            "What is it?"

            "Never mind.  You'll find out soon enough.  Hurry!  In here!"

Arabella dragged Lily into the nearest empty classroom.  She shut the door and locked it.  She sat Lily down in a chair.

Amanda, Caitlin, Jane, and Katherine were gathered at the front of the classroom.

            "Uh, guys?"  Lily ventured.  "What's going on?  And why is there a Muggle TV in here?  I mean, it won't work anyhow."

            "Lily," Jane said.  She looked at Katherine.  "Katherine charmed a Muggle- what do you call it? - cordcammer to work here.  She… well, she videotaped Nikki and James', well… date."

            "Katherine!"  Lily exclaimed.  "That's a downright scummy thing to do!  And to think you're a Gryffindor!  I thought you were better than that!"

            "Lily, I taped it for you.  You need to see this."

            "I don't need to see anything!  I've got enough in my way of becoming Head Girl without intruding on James' love life, thank you," Lily shouted.  "It's none of my business!"

            "Lily, I think it is your business," Amanda stepped in.

            "How so?"  Lily challenged.

            "Lily, don't play dumb.  We all-" Amanda looked at Caitlin, Katherine, and Arabella- "know you and James Potter love each other."

            "That's outrageous!" Lily burst out.  "I have nothing for him except scorn and disgust!"

            "Oh, Lily," Amanda sighed.  "It's so obvious.  To everyone.  You need to see this."  She popped the video into the VCR.

            "Lily tried to stand up, but discovered she was bound to the chair by thick ropes.

"Sorry," Jane whispered, who had a soft heart.  She looked at the ground.

Lily averted her eyes from the screen, but found she couldn't resist.  It was as if her eyes and heart worked as one against her will, and she looked at the screen.

_The camera showed James and Nikki at the Three Broomsticks, Nikki chattering away and James looking utterly bored.  He brightened a little when he turned Katherine's way.  Lily suddenly got a partial view of Katherine's back; she had hidden the camcorder so James wouldn't see it.  But voices could be heard._

_            "Hey, Katherine!" James called._

_            "Oh, um, hi," Katherine replied, stammering._

_            "Ja-ames," Nikki whined.  "I was talking."_

_            "Whatever," James responded.  "Hey, Kat, have you seen… um… well, have you seen Lily?"_

_            "Oh," Katherine said.  She glanced at her wrist, which bore no watch.  (The camera showed that.)  "I just remembered, I have to go… um, feed my, um… deliver a… um, message to… um… go talk to Caitlin," she finished and rushed off._

            "You should be in the CIA, Kat," Lily told Katherine."

            "Thank you," said Katherine, not finding the sarcasm.  

            "The what?" Jane, the pureblood, asked.  

            "Nothing," said Lily.

            "Muggle thing," Caitlin added.

            "Oh."

_Nikki and James left the Three Broomsticks.  Half of the screen was taken up by a huge leaf.  _

_            "Lily's avoiding me," James muttered._

_Nikki stopped mid-sentence.  "Did you say something, Jamesie?"_

_            "N-No.  Go on.  I'll show her," he muttered._

_James led Nikki behind a tree.  (No, not the one Katherine was behind.)  He planted a firm kiss on her mouth.  Nikki looked shocked at first, but then kissed him back, her fingers intertwining with his hair._

Lily's brilliant emerald orbs filled with tears.  She jumped up as best she could.

            "I've seen enough," she choked.

Jane, her eyes watering as well, waved her wand.  Lily ran out of the room, fat salty tears pouring down her pale face.

*

            "Lily- I mean, Evans- is something wrong?"  A very concerned James Potter asked.  Lily had run straight into him, blinded by her tears on the way to the Ravenclaw common room.  "Is it something…_I did?"_

Lily stopped crying for a moment at the sound of his voice, and hiccupped.  She slapped him smartly across his cheek.  The sound echoed in the hall.  She burst into tears again, and fled.

James looked surprised.  He was deaf to Nikki's voice in his ear.  Lily's slap instead, rang in his ears.

*

That night, Sirius lay in his bed.  _I have to meet Caitlin tomorrow to study for finals, _he thought.  He didn't need to study.  He was top in his year.  Him and Lily, anyway.

But why was he helping Caitlin?  He had never helped his girlfriend before.  So why were things different with Caitlin?

_Because… because I care for her, _he realized with a jolt.  And frankly, it scared him.  He was always in control of his emotions before, and now… well, he didn't know what.

*

Lily lay on her bed; soaking her pillow with still more tears.

_Why did that video affect me so much?  _She thought.  _Why does he affect me so?  Why does he make me feel a way I've never felt with any other guy?  Why do I… care for him?_

_I don't care for him, _she contradicted herself.  _I hate his slimy guts. I-_

_Do you really?  _Bob asked.  _I don't think so.  Do you?_

Lily stopped crying.  Because she knew Bob was right.

She was in love with James Potter.  And she couldn't deny it.

*

Caitlin gazed at the ceiling, counting the grooves.  She was deep in thought.  She knew Sirius was a player.  She knew he toyed with girls until he was tired of them, and then dumped them.  She knew hundreds of girls had gotten the heart broken by him.

She however, was different.  She had dated maybe two guys before Sirius.  Caitlin didn't date for looks alone; they had to have brains as well.  Sirius had both.  And a good sense of humor, and charm…

She sighed.  She was meeting him the next day, and she was a bit scared of what he'd say.  The past couple of days he had been avoiding her.  She wasn't dumb.  She saw.  She knew.  The last time he had kissed her, even on the check, was…3 days ago?  About that, Caitlin decided.

She knew he was pondering breaking up with her.  She could see it in the way he looked at her.  He was unsure.  Unstable.  Uncertain.

She didn't want to lose him.  But she wanted to be hurt and humiliated even less.

*

Sirius glanced at the Slytherin table.  Snape didn't look his way.  He was talking to Lucius Malfoy.  When he looked at James, he glared.  A look of longing came over his face when he looked at Lily.  Sirius decided to see what they were whispering about.

            "Psst…James," he whispered.  "You got your invisibility cloak on you?"

            "For once, yeah," James replied.  "I was planning on… taking a walk during first period.  Why?"

            "Just give it to me," Sirius hissed.  He put a finger to his lips so Peter, Remus, and Caitlin saw and slipped on the cloak.

            "…and then we'll have nailed him.  Next Quidditch match," Snape hissed.

            "But…kill Potter?  Jealousy is one thing, Severus, but murder?"

            "Shut up.  People will hear.  I know what I'm doing."

Sirius crept back to the Gryffindor table and slipped off the cloak.

            "What was it?"  James asked.

            "Uh…nothing.  Snape planning something stupid."

            "Let's counter his plan."

            "Nah," Sirius said.

            "Wow, Padfoot, you've changed.  Instead of doing something to Snivellus, you…well, don't."

Sirius shrugged.  But that wasn't what he had in mind.

*

            "Hey, Sirius," Caitlin said softly.  She was waiting for him under a tree by the lake.

Sirius did not return the greeting.  "Listen, Caitlin," he said instead, "We need to talk.  Now.

"I don't know how to say this.  I don't want to hurt you," he started softly.  "You…me…we…can't…I-"

            "No, _you listen!" Caitlin cried.  "I know what you're going to say, and I won't let you.  We're through.  I beat you to it.  _I _dumped _you_.  So there.  I've won."_

            "W-what?"

            "I don't want my heart broken by someone who doesn't even care.  A _player_," she stated simply.  She turned on her heel and left Sirius standing there, gawking at her, like someone ditched at the altar.  He became conscious of the fact and closed his mouth.

_But I do care_, he thought as he silently watched his ex walk away.

*

            "Listen, Peter," Sirius whispered the next day, while they were outside a few meters away from Snape.  He whispered his plan to Peter.  Peter nodded excitedly.  He just wanted to feel important and included.

            "Ok, Pete, this is really important," Sirius said loudly.  "You can't tell _anyone_."

            "Yeah?"

            "I've figured out how to get into the Whomping Willow.  We'll go in tonight."

            "But how?" squeaked Peter.

            "You just press the knot and the branches freeze.  It's really easy."

They pretended not to notice Snape slinking away.  Sirius grinned at Peter.

            "What's done is done," he whispered.  

*

***Night of the Full Moon***

**7:40 pm******

            "Hey, James, do you know what time we're supposed to meet Remus tonight?"  Peter asked.

            "Eight, as usual," James responded.

            "Oh."  Silence.  Then, "James, weren't we planning to go out half an hour later tonight?"

            "Why?  What would the special occasion be?  We always go out at eight.  We have for the past five years."

Peter twisted in his seat.  "Um, didn't Sirius tell you?"

            "Tell me what?"  James was getting nervous.  He wanted to hear what Peter had to say, but he didn't at the same time.

            "Um, well I thought you knew…Sirius told Snape to meet…well, meet Remus, actually, but…see, it's like this," Peter stuttered, trying to form a complete sentence.  "Sirius accidentally-on-purpose told Snape to go to the Whomping Willow and how to get inside so Remus could meet him when…well, when he was transformed."

            "WHAT?!" James exploded.

            "Well, he wouldn't tell me what it was for, exactly.  He never tells me anything.  I'm always the last to know around here.  But anyway," Peter quickly continued at James' glare, "Sirius would never do a thing like this.  Not to kill Snape.  It's usually just a little humiliation here and there, and sometimes a big humiliation.  I just don't understand.

"James, why do you care so much?  Snape is your worst enemy.  I thought, and Sirius thought, you wouldn't have minded him dead."

            "He's my archenemy, sure, but I don't hate him enough to commit _murder.  Peter, how could you let Sirius do such a thing?!"_

Without waiting for a response, James tore out of the Gryffindor common room and down seven flights of stairs.  He ran across Hogwarts grounds until he came to the Whomping Willow.  He transformed.  Prongs dodged the branches, for his animal form had more agility, and he pressed the knot.

He darted up the stairs, all the while thinking, _Oh__ please, don't let Snape have gone in yet.  Please._

He met Snape at the top of the stairs, his hand on the knob.

            "_Snape_!"

Snape turned around.  '

            "What?"

            "Don't go in there.  I mean it, Snape.  Do _not _go in there.  I swear you'll regret it."

            "Why the hell not?  Why should I listen to you, Potter?"

            "Because, you slimy git-"

            "You've never helped me, you conceited arrogant little-"

            "Snape, shut up.  And don't go in there.  There's-" James gulped- "a werewolf inside."

Snape snorted.

            "And now you give me this 'there's a werewolf inside' rubbish? I don't believe it, Potter.  You just don't want me to discover your secret little meeting area or whatever the hell you have in there."

            "There's nothing in there besides a werewolf.  I'm serious.  Do not go in there."

Snape snorted derisively and pushed the door open.  A werewolf met him, snarling with saliva dripping from its teeth.  Snape froze in terror.  

            "Run!" James shouted.  Snape didn't move.  "Come on, you idiot, run!"  Snape was still petrified.  James sighed in irritation, pointed his wand to him, and muttered "Wingardium Leviosa."

James ran to the castle with Snape in tow.  He could hear Remus' growling and snarling, praying that they would reach the castle in time.  The snarling came even closer.  James used the last of his energy to sprint toward the castle, lock and bolt the door, and then slid down the door and sat.

            "Jesus, Snape, you could have killed us!" James said.

            "I didn't know there was a werewolf in there," Snape said lamely.

            "Right.  And I didn't warn you.  Uh-huh."

Professor Dumbledore then approached them.  

            "What is going on, Mr. Potter and Mr. Snape?" he asked calmly.  "Are we having a bonding session?" His eyes twinkled.

James snorted.  "Yeah, right."  And he told Dumbledore the whole story.  Dumbledore's face was grave.

            "You must swear, Mr. Snape, not to tell anyone, _ever_.  And you must live by that word."

Snape gulped.  "I-I promise."

**A/N: **Sometimes I think I'm so cruel to you guys.  BlackLupin- This is all for this chapter.  Those other 2 things will have to wait (the ones that _were_ gonna be in the chapter but aren't.  You don't know what they are).

Everyone,

The next chapter will be delayed, due to the fact that I will be working on re-doing chapter 9.  

Thanks for your patience.

Don't forget to review!

~*OutofAzkaban*~


	17. Chapter 17: The End of the Beginning

**BlackLupin- **I'm happy!  I mean, really happy!  Thank you!  Oh, it's not Nikki.  I've changed my mind.  I'm not joking.  You'll just have to wait and see.

**klee_babe()- **Thanks!

**Moonlightgirl*ChoChang- **Thanks!  And I don't think you noticed, so I'm gonna have to point it out to you: I have NOT yet updated chapter 9, but I will soon.  Like, before you ever see this message, I think.  Hmm…

**peachgirl1608- **Thanks!

**SjabRox- **Thank you!  You haven't told me what you think of the chapter yet…

**lillypotterfan- **Thanks!  I'm honored!  Your suggestion is good, but I won't use it.  I'm sorry, but I've already planned it and have something in mind.  Great idea though!

**SexxySiriusBlackChick5- ***gushing* Thank you so much!  

**cheerleaders4eva- **Yes, I know.  Sometimes I upload (okay, a lot of the time) without revising, but I'll start doing it now, even though it'll mean a day or two extra before it's uploaded.

**High Elf Queen- **Thanks for reviewing!

**haruki- **Thanks!  Don't worry; I assure you there will be a happy ending; I couldn't stand my own story if there wasn't!

**Drew( )- **Thanks!

**JadeScarlet- **I'd love to read it, whenever I have time!  (I have like, three fics I still have to finish reading…so whenever I'm done, I'll give you a heads-up)

**rebecca89-**As I told JadeScarlet, I will when I have time.  I've read the summary and it looks good!

**cherri * ookami- **Thanks for reviewing!

Thank you all!  I can't believe you guys!  I'm like, flooded with reviews!  (Well, at least my Inbox was. ~_^ )You've really given me motivation to keep writing!  Don't forget to review!

**To Be Young Again**

****

**Chapter 17: The End of the Beginning**

            "Lils, you coming?" Jane asked.  Her, Arabella, Caitlin, Katherine and Amanda were going on their last Hogsmeade trip of the year together.

            "Nah," Lily replied, still staring at her Transfiguration book.  "Got to study."

            "Aw, but Lily…" Arabella started, but Jane cute her off.  "You know how Lily gets when she sets her mind to something," she whispered.  "There's no stopping her."

Arabella nodded.

            "Alright then, Lils," Jane called.  "Bye!"

*

_Argh_, Lily though.  _Why does this have to be so hard?_

She would never finish studying for Transfiguration in time for their final exam tomorrow.  She had limited nighttime hours, even if she stayed up all night. 

There was only one option.  She had to talk to the master of Transfiguration.

            "_James," she whispered._

*

James was having a usual day- nothing out of the ordinary.  Him, Sirius and Remus were hanging out at the Three Broomsticks, drinking butterbeer and talking before they headed to Zonko's.  Peter tagged along, but because he didn't have the natural brightness the other three had, was studying for final exams the next day instead of 'hanging' with the rest of the Marauders.

James looked up and saw Lily approaching him.  _Oh no_, he thought.  _Please don't let her come here.  Oh please…_

But Lily did approach James' table.  James pretended he didn't see her and looked the other way, pretending to be engulfed in conversation but really hearing nothing except an empty buzzing in his ears, knowing Lily was going to speak to him.

            "James?"  Lily asked tentatively.  "Uh, I-"

            "Look, Evans, we're over," James said icily.  "You know that, and I know that, so don't live in the past."

James knew he had said the wrong thing when Lily's cheeks colored angrily.

            "I can't believe you, Potter!" she exploded.  "Whenever a girl, including me, and I know very well we're over (and I'm glad) asks you for help, or even talks to you, you assume they want a date!  I told you off last year, and I'm not afraid to do it again!  You.  Have.  The.  Most.  Inflated.  Head.  I.  Have.  Ever.  Seen!"

The entire bar went quiet.

            "Hey," said James softly, disgusted with himself for reasons he could not fathom, "wanna take this outside?"

            "Sure!"

            "Now," he said once they were out of earshot (although Sirius and Remus were staring at them through the window) of the rest of the bar, "what was it you wanted help with?"

            "What's with the sudden mood swing?"

            "Nothing.  Answer the question."

            "I'm not a dog, Potter, so don't treat me like one.  I'm not at your command like every other girl, so don't treat me like I'm under the influence of your charm, because I am _so not."_

            "Lily, all I want to do is help!" James cried, irritated, throwing his hands up in the air.

Lily snorted.  

            "Ha!  That's a laugh.  Before I could even get a word out, you started assuming I wanted to get back together which, I might point out, is to your own benefit, not mine."

            "Lily…"  James started, but didn't know how to finish.  "I really do want to help.  I'm sorry I was being such an ego-maniac in there, and I always have been, but please, give me a chance."

            "Hmm, now where have I heard that before?" asked Lily, in mock consideration.

            "Lily, this time I'm serious!"

            "I thought you were James.  Or did you mix yourself up with your best friend like everyone else?  Alright, I get it, that's old.  Oh, and last time you weren't serious?  Imagine…"

            "Evans, please, I'll help you with whatever you need help on, as long as it's something I can do."

            "No more of this name-switching.  Either call me Lily or Evans."

            "Lily," James stated firmly.  "I mean, if that's alright with you…"

            "Of course it's alright," Lily stated absent-mindedly.  

James ran his fingers through his hair.  "Okay, so what did you need help with?  Anything I can do?"

            "Transfiguration."

            "What about Transfiguration?"

Lily burst into tears.  "Everything!" she sobbed into James' arms.  "The incantation, the wrist movement…" all James heard after that was "…final exams…Head Girl…help…" she stopped crying, sniffed, and looked at James with tear-stained cheeks and red eyes.

            "Will you do that for me?" she asked.

            "Anything," James found himself saying.

*

James led Lily to the Gryffindor common room.  He led her up to the boys' dormitories and pushed open the door.

            "After you," he said.

            "Uh, James?  Won't we get in trouble?  I mean, I'm a Ravenclaw so I'm not supposed to be in here and I'm a girl so I'm _definitely_ not supposed to be in _here_."

            "Nah," said James.  "Sirius and Remus will be out all night, and so will Peter.  God knows what they're doing.  I didn't want to go with them for once because I didn't want to have a late night before exams.  It's not like Sirius and Remus care, and Peter just tags along.  Heaven knows he's gonna fail."

            "But-"

            "Look, Lily, I can't get into the girls' dorms, you know that, and we can't study in the common room because anyone could come and then we'll be in deep crap with McGonagall.  So this is our only option, unless you want to fail Transfiguration," James concluded, his eyes glinting mischievously. 

            "But James, I…I mean, you and I in the same dorm?  Wouldn't it be kind of… awkward and…"

            "Lily, I swear I will not take advantage of you or any of that _stuff.  I have too much pride."_

            "Promise?"

            "A Potter's as good as his word," James said arrogantly.

Lily slapped him.

            "Well, then I'll know yours will be scummy and untrue," Lily muttered.

            "Hey!" James exclaimed.

Lily sat down on the floor.  "So, what are you going to teach me?"

*

James Potter had fallen for Lily Evans.  He couldn't think of anything else, although he acted like he didn't care and taught her well.  But just looking at Lily distracted him, so he tried hard to keep most of his focus on the book, his wand, and her wand and hand movement.

            "No, no, like this," James said, reaching over and holding her hand so the wand would move in the proper way.

Lily looked up at him, his innocent features focused, his brows knitted in the frustration of getting all this done by morning.  

            "Thanks," she whispered. 

James looked at her.  And then he did the only thing he could think of to do.

He kissed her.

Caught up in the heat of the moment, Lily kissed him back.  After a second or two she regained her senses and pushed him away once again, much as she was reluctant to.  She slapped him.  Hard.

            "I can't believe you!"  Lily cried, furious.  "A Potter's as good as his word…" she muttered, grabbing her book bag.  She stuffed her Transfiguration book into it and rushed out the door and ran the Ravenclaw common room, her face red and tears running down it.

*

            "Lily Marie Evans, get out of bed this instant!" Arabella cried.

Lily moaned.

            "I know the method that always works," Amanda told Arabella.  Lily bolted out of bed.

Jane smiled.  "Let's go," she said softly.  "Transfiguration."

*

Lily screamed silently at her paper.  _150 questions?  _Lily thought.  _That's insane!_

            "You may begin," Professor Dumbledore said from the front of the classroom.

Lily glanced at James.  He was concentrating on his test, not looking at everyone else in the classroom.

_I cannot help it_

_Couldn't stop it if I tried_

_The same old heartbeat fills the _

_Emptiness I have inside_

_Come on, _Lily urged herself.  _Think, Evans, think. _

_And I've heard you can't fight love,_

_So I won't complain_

_'Cause why would I stop the fire that _

_Keeps me going on?_

Why did she keep thinking of James?  She needed to concentrate on her exam.  She had to score well.  She glanced at James again.

_'Cause when there's you, I feel whole_

_And there's no better feeling in the world_

_But without you I'm alone_

_And I'd rather be in love with you_

_He looks so adorable with his brows knitted like that and his eyes squinting, _she thought.  _Wait, what am I thinking?!_

_Turn out the lights now_

_To see is to believe_

_I just want you near me_

_I just want you here with me_

What incantation and wrist movement is used to transfigure a pillow into a quill?  _Oh, I did this last night with James…_

_And I'd give up everything only for you_

_It's the least that I could do_

With his pillow…it smelled like him…like…masculine…AAAHHH!  Lily Marie Evans, focus!

_'Cause when there's you, I feel whole_

_And there's no better feeling in the world_

_But without you I'm alone_

_And I'd rather be in love with you_

The light bulb clicked.  _Got it_!  She scribbled the answer on her paper.  Next question…_Oh man, this one's hard…she glanced at James again and started to feel relaxed and confident.  __I can do this, she thought.  _Just focus, Evans, focus…__

_And I feel you holding me_

_Why are we afraid to be in love?_

_To be loved_

_I can't explain it_

_I know it's tough to be loved_

_And I feel you holding me_

_Got that one too!  Man, I'm gonna ace this test…_

_Oh, oh_

_And when there's you, I feel whole_

_And there's no better feeling in the world_

_But without you I'm alone_

_And I'd rather be in love_

_Yes, I'd rather be in love_

_Oh, I'd rather be in love with you_

_And I feel you holding me, oh_

Lily scrawled the answer to the last question just as McGonagall said "Time's up."

*

            "Only the Transfiguration practical left," Caitlin said.

            "Thank goodness," said a very confused and exhausted Lily.

They ate their lunch in silence.

            "I know what you're thinking," said a voice Lily recognized all too well.

            "Sod off, Potter.  Go snog one of your multiple girlfriends of something"

            "You were thinking of me.  You were wondering why you get shivers just thinking about me.  You were wondering why you feel different around me than anyone else."

Lily snorted.

            "You wish," she lied.  "You're just so unhappy because your charm didn't work with me.  Get this: _it never will_."

            "Aw, Lily, why so harsh?" asked James.

            "Please refrain from using my first name.  I will not allow someone like you to disgrace it."

            "Aw, but Lilykins, you agree to it last night, didn't you?" asked James, winking suggestively.  He touched Lily's shoulder with his fingertips.

Lily punched him square in the face.

            "And don't you dare touch me again, or you'll get something _else," Lily said menacingly._

            "Will id be pleasant?" James asked.

_I don't know how he can keep his sense of humor when he's being humiliated like this, _Lily thought.

            "Don't count on it," she said fiercely.  "I have nothing more to say to you, so you'd best leave me alone."

James left the Great Hall.

            "Yo, Prongs, where ya goin'?"  Sirius called, his mouth full of food.

            "Hospital Wing," James called over his shoulder.  "That Ebans sure backs a bowerful bunch."

Just to increase his humiliation, Lily muttered something.  His hair turned hot pink.

The tension in the Great Hall rippled with laughter.

Then Lily realized something.  Her hand hadn't been on her wand when the muttered the incantation.

She looked around nervously.  Everyone was laughing at James' retreating back.

_Oh good,_ Lily thought.  _No one saw._

But she overlooked one small detail.  Sirius Black was staring intently at her, with one eyebrow raised in confusion.

Lily also didn't see Nikki Gryfan glaring at her, her face red with anger and hatred.

*

_Why does that stupid Lily Evans get Jamesie to talk to 'her'?  She's not nearly as pretty as me, _Nikki thought.  _She not even 'remotely' pretty!_

_I want James, and I deserve him.  He wanted Evans, and she doesn't deserve him.  She doesn't even want him!  I'll make her pay, and make James mine._

_She's not even smarter than me!  She's just teacher's pet.  Everyone knows I'm really smarter than her.  Teachers think we're about the same, and that Lily's the perfect little angel from heaven, and she's only about a number or two higher than me in numerical standings!  It's not fair!_

_But how am I going to do it?  It's not like I'm going to kill her, or torture her or anything.  Ew…blood.  Gross!  Hmm… Oh, I know!  I'll ask Alicia to ask Drew to do something about it.  I know he has some power, whatever he's involved in.  Even if it does give power, I don't want to be in it.  _She wrinkled her nose.  _It's 'too' evil for me!_

*

James ran into the Transfiguration room just as Professor Dumbledore was finishing his short speech.  His eye was turning purple, but his nose looked fine.

            "What is you excuse this time, Mr. Potter?" Professor Dumbledore asked.  

            "Hospital Wing.  Please continue, Professor," James said airily.

Professor Dumbledore muttered something about "kids these days" (although his eyes twinkled contradictory to his words) and continued his instruction.

*About 15 minutes later*

            "Let's see it, Miss Evans," Professor Dumbledore said.

Lily's palms were sweating profusely.

            "Uh… what am I suppose to do again?"

            "Transfigure the straw into a broomstick," Professor Dumbledore said.  "A Muggle broomstick, if you please."

            "Right," said Lily, gripping her wand tightly.  "Um…" she closed her eyes and concentrated.  When she opened them, she looked at James.  He mouthed "Vertiginius."  Lily glared daggers at him.  If looks could kill, James Potter would have died a thousand deaths.

            "Vertiginius," she said, and the straw quivered for a moment, then- _*pop*- it became a broomstick.  "Up," she commanded, and the broom remained motionless._

            "Well done," Professor Dumbledore said.  Lily thought he almost smiled.  "You've passed."

Lily forced a smile.

*

            "JAMES POTTER!"

            "Ugh, what now, Lily?" James asked the redhead running towards him.  They were on their way to the dormitories.  Everyone was required to pack before dinner because the next morning they would be heading home for the summer holidays.  "I thought you had 'no more to say to me,' remember?"

            "How dare you!"  Lily screeched.  "I didn't need your help!  I could have figured it out myself!"

            "Huh?" James was confused at first.  "Oh, the exam.  Well, I didn't want you to fail, now did I?" 

            "Oh, shut up, you cheating… urgh!" Lily was infuriated.  "I've just about had it with you!"

            "'Just about'?" asked James.  "Or thoroughly?"

            "Oh…" Lily started, but Amanda held her fist back.

            "Don't," she said.  "He's not worth it."

Lily nodded.  She walked back to the Ravenclaw dormitories with Amanda.

*Later, after the Feast*

            "Lily!" Arabella called.  "Lily, where are you?"

Lily looked where she was standing. "In here," she called back.  Arabella, Jane, Amanda, Caitlin, and Katherine walked into the dorm.

            "Where were you at dinner?" Caitlin asked.

            "Here," Lily replied simply.

            "But why weren't you at the Feast?" Jane asked.

Lily shrugged.  "I didn't feel like it."

            "But why-" Jane persisted, but Amanda cut her off.

            "Okay everyone, lights are out in fifteen minutes!  You'd better get back to Gryffindor Tower," she told Caitlin and Katherine.  Katherine mumbled something about Amanda not being Head Girl, but Caitlin looked pleased.

            "Oh, well," she said.  "I _am tired… I'll see you guys in the morning!  Save me a spot on the train- I __might be a little late."_

            "Why?" Arabella asked her, but Caitlin left.

            "Toodles!" she called over her shoulder.

            "What's wrong with her?" Arabella asked.  Katherine shrugged and followed Caitlin.

            "Okay, guys, bedtime!" Amanda called.

            "But-" Arabella started.

            "No 'buts'," Amanda countered.  "We can interrogate Lil in the morning." She winked at Lily.

Grumbling, Jane and Arabella went to get into their pajamas and then bed.  Amanda put on her plaid pajama pants and a tank top, and, after she made sure Jane and Arabella were asleep, tiptoed to Lily's bed.

            "Lily," she whispered, "I know you're awake."

Lily rolled over.  "What?"

Amanda sat on Lily's bed and drew the curtains around the bed.  She whispered the silencing spell.

            "Lily, get up!" she commanded.

            "Fine." Lily sat cross-legged, identical to Amanda.  "What?"

            "What's this I hear about you and James dating?"

            "What?!"

            "He was telling everybody that you guys were going out," Amanda said with a puzzled expression on her face.  "Is it true?"

            "Of course not!" Lily cried indignantly.  "I can't believe he had the guts to say that!  I swear, I'm gonna make him pay!"

            "Okay Lily, why weren't you at the feast?  Because I know you weren't 'not feeling well'."

Lily grinned slightly.  "I can't hide anything from you, Manders.

"Well… you know how James… well, likes me?  Or at least he used to?  Well, I hate him.  You know that.  The whole school knows that.  But, um… after… well, I don't know when, actually- sometime this year- I think… Amanda, you have to promise not to tell anyone."

            "I promise."

            "Well, at some point, I think I might've fallen for him."

Amanda squealed.  "Lily!  
  


            "But I assure you, it's over now.  All of it.  I hate him and his inflated head.  You have to promise you won't tell anyone I ever liked him.  'Cause I don't."

            "Oh Lily, this is so weird!  But I promise I won't tell."

            "Thanks, Manda."

Amanda picked a black beetle off the curtain and set it out the window before returning to her own bed and falling in a deep sleep with a smile on her face.

*

            "Alicia," Nikki whispered.

            "Vylette Snyder, please don't bother me.  Wait 'til morning," Alicia mumbled sleepily.

            "Alicia," Nikki hissed.  "Alicia, it's me, Nikki."

Alicia sat bolt upright.  "Nikki, how'd you get in here?"

Nikki smiled.  "I have connections.  But anyway, to business.  I have a favor to ask of you."

            "Yeah?"

            "Okay, don't launch into anything, but I need help from Drew.  I want you to ask him if he can do me a favor.  Will you do that?"

            "Yeah.  What do you want him to do?"

            "I need him to do something to Lily.  I don't care what.  But I know he has 'connections' and some sort of power and he can use that to help me.  Can't he?"

            "I'm sure he can.  But why can't you ask him yourself?"

            "Because there's more chance of him agreeing if you ask him," Nikki replied.  "And I don't want James to see me talking to a Slytherin.  It could defeat the whole purpose."

            "Alright, I'll see what I can do."

            "Thanks."  Nikki tiptoed back to Gryffindor Tower and slept heavily.

*

            "Sirius, wait up!" Caitlin called after him the next morning.

Sirius turned his icy stare to her.  "Yes?"

            "I just wanted to say… well, I wanted to apologize.  For everything I said to you that one day.  I didn't mean any of it and wanted to know if… if I could have a second chance.  If _we could have a second chance."_

Someone slinked her arm into Sirius'.

            "It's too late for second chances, isn't it, Sirius?" Vylette Snyder said.  "He's mine now," she hissed to Caitlin.

Caitlin's blue and forgiving eyes welled up with tears.  

            "How could you?" she whispered, before running back to Gryffindor Tower, her face in her hands.

*

            "Caitlin, what's wrong?" asked Lily at breakfast.

            "Look," oh-so-observant Amanda pointed.  Lily turned to the Gryffindor table and saw Vylette Snyder clinging to Sirius' arm.  

            "Oh, Caitlin…" Lily didn't know what to say.  "He's a player.  You know that.  Everyone knows that.  You knew he was going to break your heart sometime."

Caitlin sniffed.

            "I know… I'll suck it up, I promise."

Katherine smiled.  "That's my girl."

            "Ahem," Professor Dippet cleared his throat.  "I'd like to say a few parting words before you all leave.

"First of all, this has been a wonderful year with many new faces and new adventures.  Not to mention new challenges.

            "So I'd like to say… have a great summer, and don't forget your old headmaster while you're gone." He winked.

There was a round of appreciative laughter.

            "Oh, and one more thing: _try _to stay out of trouble," he looked at the Marauders when he said this.

There was another round of laughter.

And everyone began eating as food filled the plates and drinks filled the goblets.

*

            "Caitlin, over here!" Lily called.  She was surrounded by Katherine, Amanda, Arabella and Jane, her nose in a book.

            "Well, Evans," said a cold voice, "I thought us Gryffindors were too lowly for you."

            "Not all Gryffindors, Potter," Lily replied without even looking up.  "Just you."

            "Evans, you'd better not say that to my _boyfriend_," said a sickly sweet female voice, "or you'll regret it."

Lily looked up.  Someone was attached to James' arm.  Nikki Gryfan.

She tried not to show the hurt she felt inside.  "You know, Potter, you should get your Siamese twin detached.  They can prove a bother.  Muggle hospitals do that, you know.  Oh, but I forgot: Muggles are too low for you, aren't they?" she smirked.

            "Oh, you…" Nikki began fiercely, but James pulled her away.

            "Come on," he said.  "Let's get out of here."

After they had left, Arabella asked, "Oh, Lily, why do you do that to him?"

            "Excuse me?" Lily asked.  "So this is my fault?  In case you haven't noticed, he's just as rude to me."

            "Oh, Lily," Amanda sighed, "it's so obvious.  You're the only one who doesn't see it."

            "See what?" Lily asked.  "Is there an inside joke going on around here that I don't know about?"

            "Lily, everyone knows you're in love with him," Jane said.

            "You just refuse to admit it," Katherine added.

            "What?  That's insane!" Lily protested.  "I do not, and will never like him.  I don't care what you say."

            "Lily, we can see it in your eyes, in your temper, in the way you act…" Caitlin said.  "Just give up the act."

            "Hmph," Lily said, and buried her face in her book.

**A/N: **That was probably the longest chapter I've ever written, huh?  Oh, and if there are any mistakes with chapter 9 (which there undoubtedly will be) let me know so I can fix it.  Thanks!  Please excuse all typos and whatnot; I didn't feel like re-reading and revising this chapter.  My brain hurts too much.  

Any guesses still to who the mysterious spy might be?

Coming up in the next chapter:

-Petunia introduces someone

-Lily calls Caitlin

-And a couple other things you'll just have to wait for to see.  I don't want to spoil everything!

Don't forget to review!

~*OutofAzkaban*~


	18. Chapter 18: Guys Old And New

**Dragongurl4- **Hey you!  When are _you going to start posting, huh?! ~_^_

**SexxySiriusBlackChick5- **Thanks a lot!  I really appreciate it!

**moonlightgirl*********ChoChang****- Hey you!  Nikki got into Gryffindor because she told the Sorting Hat she didn't want to be in Slytherin, just like Harry.  She wants to be with James, of course!  And I suppose she didn't want James to think less of her, being in Slytherin.  Of course Sirius doesn't care which house a girl is in.  Thanks for reviewing!**

**BlackLupin****- I'm sorry!  I didn't mean for it to be unrealistic or anything… well, I guess people can go a little crazy when they get too envious or something… sorry about the whole Caitlin thing, but you know Sirius- he doesn't linger on a girl for more than one week (except for Caitlin) and she scared him so he ran away from his fear.  (And he's in Gryffindor?!?!  I thought he was supposed to be the brave one!)**

**The Dementor()- **Thanks for reviewing!

**To Be Young Again**

****

**Chapter 18: Guys- Old and New**

Lily Evans stepped off the train.  She had gotten Caitlin's telephone number (Caitlin was also Muggle-born) and promised to call her as soon as she could.

            "I will, Cait!  Bye!" she waved as Caitlin left with her parents, chatting animatedly. 

            "Hey, Bella, keep an eye on Jane for me, okay?" Lily winked.  "She just doesn't seem herself, that's all."

            "I will." Arabella smiled.  Jane lived down the street from her in a strictly Wizarding neighborhood.  "Take care, Lils."

            "Alright.  See ya!"

Lily spotted her parents and Petunia, who was scowling.  Her parents' faces were glowing and they were smiling, welcoming their youngest daughter with open arms. 

            "Mum!  Dad!" Lily ran to them and dropped her luggage, engulfed in her mother's embrace.  Her father ruffled her hair.

            "Hey, Tiger Lily," he said.  Lily hugged the life out of him, too.  But one thing was out of place.  Petunia stood next to the hugging family, arms crossed.  Thankfully no one was beginning to stare.  Lily turned to her older sister.

            "Hello, Petunia," Lily said stiffly.  "Good to see you."

            "Mind you, I wouldn't have come if _they _hadn't dragged me along," Petunia hissed, jerking her head toward Mark and Claire Evans.  Her mother and father didn't hear.  They were too busy looking at all the… different people and surroundings.

            "So this is the Wizarding World," said Mark Evans.  "Amazing."

            "Come, dear, let's go home," Claire suggested to her husband.  "I'm sure Lily's dying to be back home again, aren't you, sweetheart?" she looked at Lily.

Lily nodded.  She climbed into the car with her parents after throwing her suitcase into the trunk.

            "Petunia, let's go," Lily told her sister.  Petunia remained where she was.  She would never take orders from someone younger than her, especially if that person was a freak like her sister.

            "Petunia Michelle Evans, get in the car," her father ordered.  Grumbling, Petunia climbed into the car and shut the door.

*

As they pulled into the Evans mansion driveway, Lily noticed a blue pickup trick parked in it.

            "Mother," she asked, pointing, "Who does that truck belong to?"

Petunia smiled for the first time that day.  "You'll see," she said smugly.  Before the car had even stopped, Petunia opened the door and jumped out.  She fumbled for a key in her purse, and unlocked the great doors.  Lily mimicked her and jumped out as soon as her father hit the brakes.

            "Vernon, I'm home!" Petunia called.  _Vernon__? Lily thought.  _

            "Petunia!" a big, beefy man with a rather large mustache appeared out of the hallway.  He kissed Petunia.  _Oh gosh, _Lily thought.  _I think I'm going to be sick._

            "Petunia, have you introduced Lily?" Claire asked, much like… well, like a mother.

            "This is Lily.  This is Vernon," Petunia mumbled, bored.

Claire glared at her firstborn.  "Lily, dear, this is Vernon Dursley.  Petunia's boyfriend.  I trust you will make his stay welcome," she told her younger child.  

            "Of course, Mother," Lily said with sincerity.  (**A/N: Okay, maybe I should explain something.  Lily doesn't hate Petunia.  Not as much as Petunia hates Lily, anyway.  Petunia is jealous; Lily isn't.  Lily looks up to Petunia, so naturally she'd want to help her big sister and make her boyfriend's stay comfy and whatnot.)**

            "And Vernon, this is Lily Marie, my youngest daughter."

            "Pleasure to meet you, Lily Marie," said Vernon, holding out his beefy hand.

Lily took it, but let go quickly.  She didn't like this man; and she didn't know why.  Well, other than the fact that his palms were sweating profusely.  There was something about him… she knew she could never let him know about her being a witch… not that Petunia would ever tell, anyway.  Lily knew she was too ashamed.

            "Don't call me Lily Marie," Lily said fiercely.  "No one does, except my parents, and they only use my middle name if I let them."

Vernon, to Lily's surprise, chuckled.  At Hogwarts, if she ever almost-threatened someone like that, they'd be stammering and walking away, because Lily was known at her unique school for her fiery temper.  And, of course, she was a prefect.  Perhaps the reason Vernon thought she was a joke was because of her height.  Lily was a bit short, but there were definitely many people shorter than her.  She was more small than short; quite petite.

            "Of course, Lily," Vernon said, amused.  "I won't use your middle name."

            "Thank you," Lily said, trying to act dignified.

            "Lily, darling, I'll help you unpack.  Petunia, you come too," Claire commanded her daughters.

The three climbed the long unmerciful stairs.  Lily threw open her bedroom door.  It was not as she remembered it.  Her queen canopy bed was neatly made.  There was a vase of lilies on her desk and nothing else.  No clutter of papers on her desk.  No heaps of clothes on her floor or her bed.  Truth be told, Lily was a bit of a slob.  Petunia was the neat, quiet and refined one.

(**A/N: **Let me explain something else.  You're probably wondering why Lily lives in a mansion.  Yes, she's poor in the Wizarding World, but in the Muggle world she's rich.)

            "Like it?" Claire asked.

            "It's not… _me," Lily replied.  _But it soon will be _she thought._

Claire began unpacking Lily's suitcase.

            "Mum," Lily said.  "I can do it myself."

Claire dropped her clothes.  "Of course, dear," she said, and sat down in one of the chairs in Lily's room.  Petunia sat in the swivel one by her desk.

            "Lily," Claire started.  "I want to ask you something."

            "Yes?"

            "Did you meet anyone at- um… at school this year?" 

            "Excuse me?"

            "Do you have a boyfriend, dimwit," Petunia said, rolling her eyes.

            "Oh!  No, of course not."

            "There's no 'of course' about it, Lily," Claire said.  "You're really pretty; someone's bound to notice."

            "Why do you want to know?" Lily asked coldly.  "Mother?" she added, trying to sound respectful.

Claire didn't notice.  "Just wondering, pumpkin." She brightened.  "Remember that boy who used to live down the street?" she asked.  "Your best friend?"

            "Luke Walker?" Lily asked, her eyes misting over at the memories. (**A/N: Thanks to slytherin_nette for the last names Walker and Pellerine!)**

            "Yes, him.  He's in town for a month with his mother and sister."

            "What was his sister's name?" Lily asked.  "Annabel, wasn't it?"  

            "It was," her mother agreed.

            "Can we _please change the subject?" Petunia whined._

            "Anyway, he'll stop by sometime.  Don't ask me when.  Probably tomorrow; they just landed this morning and have to unpack and all." Claire looked at her watch.  "Oops, got to run, girls.  Your father and I have a party to go to and I've got to get ready." With a quick wave of her hand, he scurried out the door.

*Meanwhile, downstairs in the living room*

            "Sir," Vernon said, "I have nothing but good intentions for your daughter."

            "I know," Mark said.

            "Sir," Vernon started.

            "Vernon, my boy, call me Mark.  None of this 'sir' stuff."

Vernon cleared his throat.  "Right- Mark- you've known me for a year now.  I love your daughter.  More than anything.  So tomorrow night- if I may have your permission- I would like to ask for her hand."

Mark clapped Vernon on the shoulder.  "Son, you have my approval.  You've always been like a son to Claire and me.  Don't worry; I know Petunia will accept."

            "Come on, dear," Claire sang.  They left, Mark planning to tell Claire all about Vernon's proposal.

*

After her shower, Lily changed into jeans and a white tank top.  She set her hair into a loose bun, with curls that had escaped hanging from the knot of hair.

*Ding dong*

            "Petunia, will you get that?" Lily called.

            "No," came the reply.

            "Vernon?  You downstairs?"

            "He left," Petunia responded.

Lily heaved a sigh.  She went downstairs and opened the door to reveal a boy about seventeen.  He had blond hair, sexy blue eyes and his skin was flawless.  _He's hot, Lily thought.  _

            "Can I help you?" Lily asked.  He spread his arms as if presenting himself.

            "Happy birthday, Lily Marie," he said softly in a deep voice.  Lily noticed his American accent.

            "Um… not to be rude, but who the hell are you?  And my birthday's not for another week," Lily pointed out, a bit mad about his using her middle name.

The boy put on a sad puppy dog face.

            "You don't recognize me, Lilykins?"

_Maybe it's James doing a Glamour or using a Polyjuice potion, _Lily thought.  _He's the only one who calls me 'Lilykins'._

            "James?" she asked.

            "There's already a guy?  Aw, Lils, I'm hurt."

            "Who are you?"  Lily demanded.

            "Luke.  Luke Walker."

A smile lit up Lily's pretty face.  "LUKE!" she cried.  She threw her arms around him and hugged the life out of him.

            "I can't believe it's really you!" she cried.  "Come in!"

            "Actually, I was wondering if you wanted to grab coffee or something," Luke said.  "I haven't seen you in years!"

            "Sure!  Petunia," she called up the stairs.  "I'm going out!"

            "Whatever," Petunia grumbled back.

Lily walked out the door with Luke and around the corner to the coffee shop.

            "Luke, where've you been all this time?" Lily asked.

            "America.  California, to be more specific."

            "Wow," Lily said.  "I've always wanted to go there."

            "Yeah," Luke said as they entered the coffee shop.  "What do you want?"

            "Huh?  Oh, just… a caramel frappacino."  (**A/N:** My favorite!)

            "One caramel, one brownie," Luke said, placing the money on the counter.

            "Don't bother," Lily protested.  "I'll pay for it."

            "Don't be silly," Luke countered.

            "Luke…" Lily started again, but Luke fixed her up with one of his glares.  She shut up.

As they sat drinking their coffee and talking, Lily asked, "Why'd you have to leave?  I missed you, Luke.  You were my best friend."

            "Were?" Luke asked.  "Or still am?"

Lily shifted uncomfortably.

            "Well… I don't know.  I made new friends at Hog- at my school.  And you never wrote me.  What were you doing in America?"

            "Oh.  Acting."

            "What?  In movies?"

            "Well, yeah."

            "Wow!  And you never told me?"

            "I'm sorry, Lily.  I was busy."

Lily turned away defiantly and crossed her arms.  "That's no excuse."

            "Lily…" Luke began.  He touched her arm.  Lily looked at him.  She melted under his intense gaze.  "I'm sorry," he said softly.  "Will you forgive me?"

Lily nodded.  "Of course.  I didn't really mean it."

Luke placed his hand over Lily's.  "So where have you been going to school?"

Lily removed her hand from under his.  "Hog- you wouldn't know."

            "Hogwarts?" Luke asked with a knowing smile.

            "Wh-How did you know?"

            "I went to a Wizarding school in America."

            "Oh."  
  


            "You know Jane Pellerine?"

            "Yeah.  What about her?"

            "Nothing."

There was an awkward silence.

            "Lily?"

Despite the coffee, Lily was falling asleep.  On Luke's shoulder.

            "Hm?"

"Will you go out with me sometime?"

Lily sat up with a jerk.  "What?  Luke, we're best friends.  I don't want to ruin that relationship with a different one."

Luke looked crestfallen.  His passionate blue eyes were filled with hurt.

            "I'm sorry," he whispered.

It was too much for Lily.  "No… Luke, I'll go out with you.  I want to."

Luke flashed Lily his dazzling smile.  She smiled back, then happened to look out the window.  Instantly she regretted it.

James Potter, with his nose pressed against the glass, was staring at Luke and Lily, his face twisted into a snarl.  James barged into the coffee shop.

            "Evans, what is this?" he demanded.

            "Why should you care, Potter?"  Lily yelled back.  "You and I are over!  We never were… anything!  This is my business, not yours!  So just leave me alone!"

Luke watched Lily his with eyebrows raised, impressed.  "Fiery," he remarked.  Lily shut him up with a glare.

            "Why are you with… _him_?" James asked, nodding at Luke.

            "Hey, buddy…" Luke stood up quickly and pulled out his wand.  Lily pushed him back into his seat.

            "Because, Potter, he's twice the man you'll ever be.  Now get out of my sight."

James Potter left, heartbroken.  Only Lily could see it.

_I'm sorry, James! _Lily found herself thinking.

*

The next morning, Lily was awakened by the doorbell.  She groaned.

            "Petunia…" she began her plea.  Surprisingly, Petunia answered it.

_Why are all our maids and butler off? _Lily wondered.  _It would make life easier if they were here._

            "It's for you," Petunia called.  "Some guy."

_Luke!  _Lily thought.  She put on a little makeup, just to make her appearance worth presenting, and, still in her pajamas, answered the door with a smile on her face.  Her smile faltered when she saw who was standing on the other side of her front door.

            "Oh, it's you," Lily said to James.  

            "Please," he said, "try to contain your enthusiasm.  I know you're excited to see me, but don't jump on top of me, please."

            "What do you want, Potter?"

James held his hands up as if surrendering.  "I promise not to get violent," he said with a trace of a smile.  "I just want to ask you a couple things about that guy you were with."

            "Who, Luke?"

            "If that's his name.  Aren't you going to invite me in, Evans?"

            "Whatever." James stepped inside.

            "Okay… first of all, what wizarding school does he go to?"

            "How do you know he goes to one?" Lily challenged.  

            "He had a wand," James pointed out bluntly.

            "Oh, yeah.  Well, I don't know what school he goes to," Lily remarked.  "Some wizarding school in America.  California.  He didn't tell me what the name was."

            "I see."

            "Yeah.  What is this anyway?  21 questions?"

            "Evans, don't start with me.  I just wanted to get some information about him, because… he seemed familiar."

            "Quite the Einstein and Sherlock Holmes, aren't you?"

            "Huh?"

Lily sighed.  "Never mind."  She looked at James.  Can you- leave now?" she pointed a finger towards the open door.

James eyes grew soft so they now looked like melted chocolate.  "Lily," he began, touching her hair.

Lily slapped his hand away.  "_Potter,_" she began, putting a lot of emphasis on the boy's last name, "You told me you'd leave me alone.  You _promised_.  Now leave."

            "But Lily," James tried again, desperate, "can't we be… friends?"

            "Oh, no, you don't, James Potter.  I know what your friendship leads to," the redhead said fiercely.  She propelled him out the door.

*

Lily lay on her bed, her head hanging upside-down over the edge.  She picked up her phone and dialed Caitlin's number.

            "Hello?" a male voice answered.

            "Hi, um, is Caitlin there?"

            "Depends.  Who is this?"

            "Uh, Lily Evans."

            "Lily Evans?  Sorry, don't know anyone by that name.  Bye."

Lily thought he was going to hang up on her (and he was) when she heard a voice she recognized.

            "Jake!... Hello?  Lily?" Caitlin asked breathlessly.

            "Caitlin!  Hi!"

            "Sorry, that was my brother who answered the phone.  He's sort of… a brother."

Lily: "I can imagine."

  
Caitlin: "Yeah.  So, what's up?"

Lily: "I met a guy."

Caitlin: "Lily!  Tell me about him."

Lily: "He was my best friend when we were younger, but then he went to America for years and never wrote me, but now he's back and all's forgiven!"

Caitlin: "What's his name?"

Lily: "Luke Walker."

Caitlin: "Lily, I don't like the sound of this Luke guy.  What was he doing in America all this time?"

Lily: "He didn't tell me in detail.  All he said was 'going to school and'- get this- he was acting!  In movies!"

Caitlin: "I still don't like him… can you come over tomorrow?  You know, just a girls' day.  Katherine, Jane, Arabella, and Amanda will be here.  After I invite them.  If they say yes."

Lily: "Yeah, I think so.  We don't have anything planned."

Caitlin: "I'm glad."

Lily: "So, how're things with ol' Mr. Black goin'?  Have you spoken to him?"

Caitlin: "How can I?  I can't call him, I don't know where he lives…"

Lily: "So owl him!"

Caitlin: "I don't have Ruby anymore.  My parents took her away for the summer.  They don't like owls in the house."

Lily: "I'm sorry."

Caitlin: "I can't believe that arrogant jerk had the guts to do that to me!  It's not fair!  What did I do?" she started bawling.

Lily: "Ssh, ssh… it's okay.  It's his loss, not yours.  He lose a beautiful, wonderful girl.  What did you lose?  Nothing."

Caitlin: she sniffed.  "You really think so?"

Lily: "Of course.  Who's he with now?"

Caitlin: "Snyder.  That little-"

Lily: "Vylette Snyder?" she asked incredulously.  "And I thought he was a playboy going for pretty faces.  What he sees in Snyder, I don't know, but it definitely isn't beauty.  Why, I flinch every time I see her face."

Caitlin: she laughed.  "Thanks, Lily."

Lily: "No problem.  What are friends for?"

Caitlin: "Oh, Lily, I've got to go.  I'll see you tomorrow."

Lily: "Bye."

There was a click, and Lily hung up her phone.

She was completely confused.  _What didn't Caitlin like about Luke?  I didn't even get to describe him.  Caitlin's never been the one to make quick judgments._

_I know James is smitten with me, but I don't know what to do about it.  He keeps intruding on my personal life, and I don't know what else to tell him besides 'Shut up and leave.'_

_Why 'did' Luke ask me if I knew Jane and then let the subject drop?  Maybe it has something to do with Caitlin disapproving… but how would Caitlin know that Luke asked me about Jane?_

Lily came up with an idea.  She decided to make a pros and cons list.  She took out a piece of paper and a pen.

**James Potter**

**Pros: **Handsome, charming, rich, cares about me, fierce, stubborn

**Cons: **Self-centered, annoying prat, ego-maniac, don't know him that well

Lily took out another sheet of paper.

**Luke Walker**

**Pros: **Handsome, charming, known him since I was three, cares about me, PERFECT!

**Cons: **didn't write to me for years, suspicious questioning about Jane (how does he know her?)

            "Lily!"

Lily's thoughts were interrupted by the calling of her name.

            "What?"  She got up and left her room, her destination being her sister's room to see what the fuss was about.  She didn't notice the two figures outside her window.

*

As soon as she left the room, James Potter opened Lily Evans' window and stumbled in.  Fortunately, Lily was at Petunia's room on the other side on the mansion and didn't hear the small crash and thud.  Sirius was right behind him.

James noticed something on Lily's desk.  Two pieces of paper, and he could see his name on one.  He grabbed two more pieces of paper from the surface of Lily's desk, and muttered a spell.  The blank pieces of paper immediately looked identical to the ones lying innocently on the desk.

            "Whoa, Prongs, what are you doing?  I am _so behind," Sirius remarked to himself._

            "The Copycat spell," James whispered.  "Let's get out of here."

They climbed back through the window and out onto the tree just as Lily came back to her room.

            "What _dress she should wear?"  Lily was muttering to herself.  "Honestly…"_

James Potter and Sirius Black jumped from the tree to the ground, Sirius in his Animagus form and James in his.

            "Do you think transforming will be counted as magic?"  Sirius asked.

            "Nah… who cares?"  James was studying the pros and cons lists.

            "Ja-ames," Sirius whined, much like a child, "let's go.  And we're going to your house.  I don't care what you say, you're not going to talk me into going back to my house.  Frankly, I don't live there anymore."

            "Sure, Padfoot," James said.  "_I_ certainly don't mind your company, and my parents adore you."

            "I just can't go back…"

            "I know, Sirius.  Don't worry about it."

*

The candles were lit, dinner was served, and everyone was seated at the Evans' dining table.  

            "Petunia," Vernon said softly, "I love you.  I want to be with you forever.  I know we haven't known each other for too long, but… a year's a year, isn't it?"

            "Yes," Petunia said slowly.  "I love you too.  What are you trying to say, Vernon?"  
  


Vernon went down on one knee and pulled out a little box from inside his pocket.  He opened it and there sat a ring with a large diamond on it.

            "Petunia Evans," he said, "will you marry me?"  
  


Petunia's face broke into a smile, which Lily had rarely seen before.  "Yes, Vernon, yes, I will!"  she cried, and flung herself into his arms and squeezed him tightly.

Lily was happy for her sister and wondered when that day would come for her.

*

            "Padfoot, this can't be right," James said.  "I have more pros than that Luke guy, but she wrote 'PERFECT' about him!  How is that possible?"

Sirius sighed.  This wasn't the first time James had acted stupid.  And it wasn't even acting.  "James," he said, "for top in the year, you sure are stupid."

            "What's that supposed to mean?"

            "Luke's her boyfriend, you're not."

            "And… that makes him perfect?" James was still confused.

            "No, no one's perfect.  Lily just views him that way."

            "Oh."  _Lily, will I ever be perfect to you?_

**A/N: **Sorry if the last bit was a little 'rushed', but I made it up off the top of my head just so I could update today.  How much do I love you guys? ^_~

I'm also sorry if this chapter is a little disappointing… I'll try to make the next one better.

Oh, and I'm taking a short (key word: SHORT) break from this story.  I'm going to get chapter 9 down to HTF so you'll be happy, and then I'll return to this.  Usually I already have in mind what I want in the next chapter when I write one, but this time I'm blank.  So a break will give me more time to brainstorm for chapter 19.

Anyone guessed who the spy is yet?

Ignore the typos and spelling/grammar/punctuation errors in this chapter- I'm tired and my eyes hurt from staring at the screen for two and a half hours and this chapter is too long for me to re-read it.  

Until later,

~*OutofAzkaban*~****

****


	19. Chapter 19: Behind Your Back

**BlackLupin****- Nope, not old Janie.  Think hard… and Jake probably won't come into the story too much… are you cheating on Mr. Black???  Oh yeah, you guys broke up… haha never mind!**

**Sjabrox****- Hey, how did you know?  Hehe… just kidding- you're almost right about Luke Walker here… a little off though… good guesses!**

**To Be Young Again**

****

**Chapter 19: Behind Your Back**

Lily threw a forest green sweatshirt over her t-shirt and jeans.  "Mum, I'm going over to Caitlin's!" she called over her shoulder, her hand on the doorknob.

            "Wait!" Her mother called, scurrying to her daughter as fast as her short legs would carry her, her heels clicking on the tile floor.  She examined Lily.

            "No, no, no, honey- why do you wear clothes like these?  They make you look poor.  You have new designer clothes in your closet- why don't you wear those?"

            "Because, _Mother, I don't want to be like… like Nikki Gryfan.  Besides, these are comfortable." And without another word, she left._

Once in the shadows where no one could see her, Lily stuck out her right hand in front of her, over the sidewalk.  With a deafening *bang*, a huge triple-decker bus appeared in front of the sidewalk.  The words _The Knight Bus_ glittered on the side.

            "Welcome to the Knight Bus, emergency transport for the stranded witch or wizard.  Just stick you wand hand, step on board, and we can take you anywhere you want to go.  My name is Sean Shunpike, and I-"

            "Will be my conductor this afternoon," Lily finished the recitation wearily.  "I know, Sean."

The pimple-faced teen (**A/N:** Who, I might add, _greatly_ resembles Stan, or rather, vice versa.  Stan resembled his father) dropped his professional manner.  "Oh, 'ello, Lily.  What can I do fo' ya today?"

            "I need to get here," Lily showed Sean a piece of paper with Caitlin's address on it. 

"No problem.  Ern!"

A young man no more than twenty years old sat at the driver's seat, his hands on the steering wheel.

            "Yes?"

            "We need to get to Number Fifteen, Privet Drive."

            "Right-o," said Ernie, and stepped on the gas.

With another loud *bang*, the bus vanished from Lily's street and reappeared on Privet Drive.  The bus cruised along, and screeched to a stop at number fifteen.

            "Here ya are," Sean said to Lily.  "That'll be eleven sickles, please."

Lily handed him the money and stepped off the bus.  She walked up to the white door and reached out a finger to knock, but the door opened before her knuckles hit wood.

            "Hey, Cait!  Good to see you!  Where is everybody?" Lily asked, looking around the room.  

            "Only Jane and Amanda can come.  Arabella had something to go for- I think she was going shopping with her mom or something- and Katherine couldn't come.  She didn't tell me why."

            "Oh.  Well… it'll just be the four of us, then, will it?"

Caitlin shrugged.  "I guess.  Come on upstairs!  You're the first one here!"

They ran into Caitlin's room, and Lily was immediately jealous.  It wasn't neat and tidy like Lily's (no matter how much she messed it up, the maid fixed it.  And since the maid wasn't here, her mother did); it was personalized and looked inhabited.  Unlike Lily's.  

Caitlin patted the spot on the bed across from her.  

            "So, Lily… got a picture of the Luke fellow?"

            "Nope.  Sorry, but I just re-met him yesterday.  There wasn't any time for pictures."

*Knock, knock*

            "Ooh, that must be Amanda and Jane!  They told me they were coming together!  I'll get it!" Caitlin cried, and left Lily sitting cross-legged on the bed while she ran to answer the door.

When Caitlin came back upstairs with Jane and Amanda in tow, Lily noticed this frightened-almost fearful- look about Jane.  Her face was pale and her hazel eyes were wide.  

            "Oh, Lily," Jane rushed to Lily's side as if Lily was on her deathbed.  "Is it true?  About Luke Walker?"

            "Well, if what you heard is that I'm going out with him, then yes, it's true."

            "Ohmygawd!" Jane exclaimed.  "Lily, you can't!  I…" her voice trailed off, uncertain of what to say next and without a foothold on her words.

            "You what?" Lily asked pointedly.  "He asked me if I knew you, and when I said yes, he dropped the matter abruptly.  What's going on?"

            "Well, I… I knew him.  A long time ago.  And… trust me, Lily.  You don't want to go out with him.  He's nothing but trouble and… and heartbreak."

            "Really?  Well, guess what, Janie?  I've known him since we were three.  So I think I know him a ton better than you!"

            "Known him longer?  I think, dear, that those… what?  Eight? Ten?- years when he was in America didn't count as _knowing_ him, did it?  Since he didn't write.  Or call.

No one had ever heard Jane yell so much.  Especially all at once.  Amanda let out a low whistle.

            "Shut up." Jane glared at Amanda.

"All I'm saying is," Jane continued, "that Luke is a different person than the sweet little boy you once knew.  You've got to believe me, Lily."

            "I don't believe you," Lily said defiantly.  "Luke is just as sweet as he ever was.  So sod off, and take your lies with you."

Jane curst into tears and ran out of Caitlin's house.

*

**(Caution: This part has a bit of swearing in it, so the rating's a little… you know.  It's not bad enough to be "R", though.  But it's the character, and you have to bring the real-live person into the character…) **

A dark hooded figure approached the huge oak tree in the Payne backyard.  He-or she- or it- studied the tree, then climbed up it.  With difficulty.  Once concealed by the leaves, Alicia Morono drew back her hood.  She rapped on the nearest window.

            "Drew!" she whispered loudly (for the Alicia I know can never do anything softly.)  "_Drew_!"

A sleepy looking teen opened the window.  He was fat and ugly, but apparently Alicia didn't think so.

            "Hi," she said sweetly.  "Let me in?"

Drew grunted his consent and opened the window.  Alicia hopped inside.

            "What the hell are you doing here?" Drew demanded.

            "I wanted to see you, baby," Alicia's voice was dripping with syrup.

Drew snorted.  "Yeah, whatever.  Now tell me, what the fuck are you doing here?"

Alicia's smile flickered and died like a light bulb at the end of its life.

            "Well, Nikki- you know Nikki, one of my best friends, the pretty blonde- asked me to do her- and me," she added batting her eyelashes, "a favor."

            "What sort of favor?"

            "Well, she says she knows you have 'connections'," she made her fingers like quotation marks to express the quote, "and she wanted you to sort of… get rid of that Ravenclaw, Lily Evans."

            " 'Sort of' get rid of her?  How the fuck do you 'sort of' get rid of someone?  Either you kill them, or you don't."

            "Well, could you just… fine.  Get rid of her.  It's not like I care."

Drew smirked.  "I'll see what I can do." Then he brought Alicia's lips to his for a serious make-out session.

*

Lily stayed where she was, frozen to the bed.  She had never seen Jane so angry, and she had caused it.  Her emerald orbs, usually sparkling, hardened so they looked like sea ice- green as the sea and hard as ice.

            "Fine," she said huffily.  "Fine.  If she doesn't believe me, fine."

Meanwhile, on the Knight Bus with Sean Shunpike chattering away, Jane Pellerine said the same thing.

            "Lily, Amanda said, "I think you should really soften up, stop being so stubborn, and listen to what Jane has to say.  She has a point, you know."

"Now that I've said my part," Amanda continued, "Consider me neutral.  Both of you can come to me if you want to talk, and I'll give equal advice to each of you." And she left in the same fashion Jane had.

            "I guess our 'girl party' is over," Caitlin said glumly.  "And I thought it would be a huge success."

            "Don't worry," Lily said in a comforting tone.  "Next time, we'll have one at my house, once we've all cooled off."

            "All right.  Need a ride?"

            "Nah, I got one.  Thanks!  Bye!"

_I really need to think this thing over_, Lily thought as she silenced a rambling Sean for the second time that day.

**A/N: **Hey, the last bit I wrote in a hurry, so sorry if it sucked or anything.  Sorry about ending in such a weird way, but I didn't know how to end.

Here's something that'll cheer you up: I have the entire outline for HTF made!  Aren't you excited?

Please R&R!  Oh, and before I post my A/N for HTF, I'll ask you in advance: is there any 'secrets' in HTF you want revealed?  Okay, I admit, I'm cheating.  I'm getting you to tell me everything I need to reveal so I don't have to re-read it and figure everything out.  

Don't forget to review!

~*OutofAzkaban*~


	20. Chapter 20: Summer Passes By

**Dragongurl4- **Um…hi!  Thanks for reviewing!  I've got nothing else to say since you're standing right here next to me reading this!

**MPPSexxySiriusJamesRemus- **I guess everyone wants to kill Lily because they're jealous of her infinite beauty and talent. ^_~

**SjabRox- **One of those above guesses is correct.  Congratulations!  You win the award!

**BlackLupin- **Oh, right.  Gotcha. ^_~  Hee… we should make a play about this!  You'd be an awesome actress!  You seem to remember the characters' roles better than I do!  Caitlin can't win Padfoot back, of course- remember, she didn't want to let him go, but she did because she thought it would be easier than getting hurt, and less painful, too.  Guess you got proven wrong… and Padfoot will show ya!

**cherri ookami- **Well, like I told MPPSexxySiriusJamesRemus(whoo, long name), Nikki's jealous of Lily's… ability to win James' heart when she can't even get him to say a nice word to her.  Don't worry; I can't kill her off!  But someone WILL get injured…*rubs hands together and cackles*

**Lorealgal- **Wow, Nilu!  You are so awesome!  Thank you, I will!  (I didn't even know what to do with that part anyhow…)

**Jane Park- **Thank you so much!  Wow, I'm amazed at the kindness you put into your review!  Thank you soooooooooooo much!  I'm flattered!

**Nilu- **Yes, once I finish HTF, I will continue this.  Once I finish this, I have some other great ideas for future fics.  Seventh year will certainly have some twists in it!

**A/N: **I have to tell you guys something- this probably won't be like a regular chapter… at least, I'm not planning on it.  It's just what happens generally over the summer, ok?  Enjoy!  (And the next chapter will be on the train ride back, I think.)

****

**To Be Young Again**

****

**Chapter 20: Summer Passes By…**

Petunia had brutally refused letting Lily even attend her wedding, much less be one of her bridesmaids.  Lily didn't care at all for her sister's wedding, and didn't want to attend.  _It's her bloody wedding.  She wouldn't want me to be there, Lily reasoned darkly.  She had long given up trying to be sisterly to Petunia and accepted her cold shoulder._

But Claire Evans, being the mother she was, 'forced' Petunia to extend an invitation to her sister.

            "But Mum," Petunia protested, "I've already told Vernon about… Lily… being a… _you_ know, and he doesn't like it just as much as I don't.  He wouldn't want-"

            "Now, Petunia, of course if _you _described Lily to Vernon, he would have the same views as you.  You've been jealous of your sister for the longest time, darling.  I'm sure Vernon wouldn't mind Lily being at your wedding.  She's your _sister_, Pet." Claire used her 'pet' (**A/N: **Get it? ^_^) name for her oldest child.  Petunia groaned, rolled her eyes, and left with her bridesmaids (minus Lily) to pick out the perfect wedding dress.

*

Lily fidgeted, waiting for her sister to walk down the aisle.  She watched Petunia and Vernon say their vows and noticed Jane, Caitlin, Amanda, Arabella, and Luke in the large crowd.  She watched as her sister and her husband share their first kiss as a married couple.

*

            "Hey Luke." Bridget, Petunia's blonde, fair friend sidled up to Luke Walker.  "Remember me?"  She batted her long, mascara-covered eyelashes.

            "Uh, yeah… does your name have something to do with water?"

Bridget didn't look insulted.  "It's Bridget.  Remember?" she asked flirtatiously.

            "Ah yes.  I recalled something about a bridge.  Don't you have a boyfriend or something else to drool over?"

Once again, Bridget seemed unaffected by Luke's words.  "Oh yeah.  I did.  I dumped him."

            "When?"

            "Oh, approximately…" Bridget glanced at the large clock, "thirty-five…no, thirty-six seconds ago."

            "I see.  Well, you'd better hope he still wants you, because I certainly don't," Luke said icily.  Bridget didn't take the hint and lingered.

Right on cue, as if they'd practiced it a dozen times, Lily came behind Luke and kissed his cheek.  Luke wrapped his arm around her waist.  Bridget's face fell and she ran, yelling, "No, Jeff, I didn't mean it!  Don't leave!  I… I-!"

Lily smiled to herself as Luke let out a low chuckle.  "How… who invited you?"

            "Couldn't you guess?" Luke nodded his head toward the stumbling Bridget.  Lily rested her head on Luke's shoulder.  If she had looked at the large, partially stained-glass window on the side of the church, she would have seen the shape of a James Potter-like head peering through the window and a Sirius Black-shaped head twirling his wand.

*

            "James, this is BO-ring," Sirius whined.

            "Stop acting like a grumpy nine-year-old," James snapped.  He peered through the window again.  "She's with that Luke character.  Why doesn't she leave him alone?"

            "Potter, you airhead, sometimes I think _you're _the stubborn nine-year-old kid here.  Let me make this plain for you.  Black and white.  Look at me.  HE.  IS.  HER.  BOYFRIEND.  Get the picture?"

James muttered something incoherent under his breath.

            "Can I go?" Sirius asked, twirling his wand idly between his fingers.

            "No, you whining, pathetic nine-year-old."

            "What if I told you I _was_ a nine-year-old?" Sirius asked, wiggling his eyebrows convincingly.

James gave him an incredulous look.  "Black, I think you're dehydrated.  Here."  A stream of water shot out of his wand and knocked Sirius out of the tree with its force.

            "Oops."

            "Wait till I get my hands on you, Potter… Ooh.  Ooh, I can't move.  Ooh."

            "Shut up, you big baby." Sirius shut up, save for the occasional moan.

            "Come on, we're going in."

            "I… can't… move.  No… go… in."

            "Oh, come on, you moron.  Hey, I can rhyme!" (**A/N: Though they are the top in the year, Padfoot and Prongs can be quite stupid when they want to.)**

            "We… weren't… invited."

            "Ah, so what?  They won't notice."

            "No," Sirius whispered, acting as if he was breathing his last.

            "Hey, Caitlin's here!" James said.

Sirius jumped up.  "Come on, mate, we're goin' in!  What's taking you so long?  Sheesh."  He was at the door even before James was out of the tree.  They entered and were greeted by Claire.

            "Who are you?  I don't seem to recall ever meeting you, or extending an invitation to you."

            "We're-" Sirius started.

            "Friends of Lily's," James finished.  "From school.  She invited us," he said without missing a beat.

Claire's smile widened.  "Oh , well, in that case…" she scanned the sea of guests, "she's over there."

            "Thank you." James headed over to Lily, with Sirius in tow, scanning the crowd for Caitlin.

*

            "What is it now, Payne?  I don't have time for your whims and moans," the cold, high-pitched voice rang out through the silence.

            "My lord, my um…my girlfriend, you know her, my lord, she… she wants a favor…" Drew Payne mumbled through his mask.

            "A favor?" Voldemort shrieked.  "What kind of favor?  I don't just stand here and give out favors, you know.  Which girlfriend is it this time?"

            "Um…Alicia, my lord…Alicia Morono… she's in Slytherin…"

            "Ah, yes, the slut."

            "Well, sir… Lily Evans, a mudblood at Hogwarts… um…. Could you… do away with her?  Somehow?"

            "Meaning end her life?"

            "Well, yes."

*

Caitlin gasped.  She clutched Arabella's arm.  "Hide me," she whispered.

            "What is it, Taylor?"  Arabella didn't like the idea of someone touching her.

            "It's him…" Caitlin whispered.  Amanda, Arabella and Jane turned their heads toward the two male figures heading over to Lily.  Caitlin crept behind Amanda's taller form and crouched slightly.

            "Oh, Taylor, get up.  Be proud.  He doesn't care about you, you don't care about him.  Capeish?"  Arabella asked.

            "I…I-"

            "Don't be a baby," Arabella said.

Jane sighed.  "Caitlin, keep your dignity," she said softly.  "He's a worthless playboy.  You knew this would happen, it did, and now you're moving on with your life.  He has a girlfriend, surprising as it may seem, and you need to find yourself something to keep you busy and not look back," she said wisely.

Caitlin nodded.  "You're right."  Her expression changed.  "Oh, God, he's coming here!  Quick- hide me."  Amanda shot her a _look and she shut up, but still looked fearful as the handsome Gryffindor made his way over to her.  Caitlin squelched a squeal._

            "Why hello there," Sirius said smoothly.  "Fancy seeing you here."

            "Oh, go away," Arabella snarled, but Caitlin stopped her.  "No.  I want to hear what he has to say.  So Black," she said, turning to him, "what brings you to this neck of the woods?"

            "A pathetic nine-year-old," Sirius informed her, and Caitlin looked wary.  "Right…"

            "So," Jane started, "where's your twin?"

            "Over there," Sirius said, nodding his head toward Lily.

            "Oh no," Amanda breathed and led the group away from Sirius and to James.  Caitlin, however, lingered.  But that was only because Sirius grabbed her arm.

            "Let go of me, damn it," she said, trying to wriggle free.

            "Caitlin," his soft blue eyes sparkled with warmth, "why… why did you dump me?" 

Caitlin almost melted, but she held her ground.  "Because, you idiot, you were a player, and you were going to break my heart.  I'd rather not have it broken, thanks."

            "So you were going to break mine instead?"  Sirius' eyes swam with tears.

_It's just an act, _Caitlin told herself fiercely.  _Just an act… he doesn't really care.  Come on, __Taylor__, be strong. _

Unfortunately, she didn't keep her vow.  "I…I…"

            "Just tell me that you actually did care," Sirius whispered.  

            "But…" Caitlin regained some of her strength, and it came back in quantities.  "_You're _the one with a new girlfriend!  _You're the one who rejected me when I came to apologize!  __You're the one who refused to listen!  _You_ said it was too late!  You-"_

            "You're wrong.  I never said it was too late for second chances.  That was Snyder."

            "Yes, it was, but you agreed with it.  I didn't hear you protest.  So she's not Vylette anymore, huh?  So this is what you do when no one's looking?  Specifically your current girlfriend?  Try to get others behind her back?"

            "Caitlin, you don't understand-"

            "Don't understand?  What is left for me to understand, Sirius?"

            "I…I-"

            "You _what?"_

            "Give me a chance, damn it!  I was going to say that I…I really…I really do care for you, Caitlin, and-"

            "That's crap, Black.  If you had really cared for me, why…why didn't you give me a second chance when I asked for one?  Why didn't you come after me?  If you had really cared, you wouldn't have let me go."  Caitlin turned on her heel and went to join Lily and her group of friends.

*

            "Oh, God, no…" Lily muttered.  

            "What?  Oh…" Luke tried to steer Lily away from James, but he wasn't quick enough and James caught up to them.

            "Hey Lily!  Great party!" James called, raising his hand in greeting.

            "It's not a _party_," Lily said through gritted teeth.  "It's my sister's _wedding."_

            "Ah, well, yes, whatever.  Your mother seems to like me."

            "And I would care _why_?" Lily asked.  "And don't call me Lily again, or you'll get it from me."

            "Lils, I-"

            "It's Evans."

            "I don't care.  I just wanted to say that… rather, ask you that… why… why do you hate me?"

            "Oh, shut up, Potter.  Do you really want to know?  Do you want to hear it again?  Is it not enough for you that I blow up at you repeatedly?  Well, I suppose I'll just have to tell you.  Maybe this time it will get through your thick skull, but I doubt it.  You're an airhead, Potter.  You're a playboy.  You mess up your hair because you think it's cool to look like you've just gotten off your broomstick, you show off with that stupid Snitch… you make me sick, Potter.  You disgust me.  You're arrogant.  You think everyone wants you.  You-"

            "Ah, yes, thank you, I get the picture," James said in a wounded voice.  Lily held her guard up and didn't let this act affect her.  The only problem was, it wasn't an act.

*

            "So you want me to do you a favor?" Voldemort said.  "Disgrace my power with helping a vile, hormonal teenager?"

            "Well, yes, my lord," Drew replied, afraid to disagree.

            "Fetch your girlfriend.  The slut one.  Is she here?"

            "She… she isn't, my lord."  

The Dark Lord sighed irritably.  "Very well, bring her before me."  Drew instantly Apparated.

*

            "Caitlin, I swear-" Caitlin turned her back to Sirius, pretending to be engrossed in conversation but really curious about what he had to say.

            "Caitlin, please, I-"

            "Caitlin, I didn't want-"

            "Damn it, Caitlin, will you listen to me?"  Sirius's loud voice echoed through the now quiet church.  Petunia looked scared, then started up conversation again, and the church became noisy once more.

            "Why, Sirius?  What's the point?  So you can come groveling on bended knee, asking for me back?  I…I don't have time for that."  She turned away and started talking animatedly to Jane.

Sirius sighed.  He turned on his heel and left, crushed.

Caitlin watched him go.

*

Drew Apparated back to the Dark Lord, clutching Alicia's elbow.  Alicia looked scared yet happy at the same time that Drew was touching her.

            "So, this is her," Voldemort asked, hit question not really a question at all.

            "Yes," gulped Drew. 

            "Girl, sit."  Alicia sat on the chair that had magically appeared behind her.

            "You dared to ask me that I kill a teenager going to Hogwarts for your girlfriend's benefit?"

            "Well, no, my lord, it was Alicia's friend that-"

            "Silence!  I will not tolerate this!  I knew from the beginning you were pathetic, and you have hurt me more times than you've helped…you're destroying the whole plan!  I think there's only one thing to do with you…"

Thin, snakelike cords shot out from the Dark Lord's wand and bound Alicia to her chair.  She screamed.

            "Now you must watch as he dies…" the Dark Lord hissed.

Features of fear took place on both Alicia and Drew's face.

            "…But not before I give him this."  Voldemort poured a clear liquid down Drew's throat.  He choked, spluttered, and then regained calmness.  

            "Do you love this girl?" Voldemort thundered.

            "No," Drew said, his voice a monotone.

            "Do you like her in the slightest bit?"

            "No," Drew said in that same monotone.  Alicia eyes welled up with tears.

            "Why did you agree to date her?"

            "Because she was worth a good make-out session."

Tom Riddle smirked at Alicia.  "Crucio!" he yelled, and Drew's body shook with pain.

Drew Payne died a slow, painful death. And Alicia Morono witnessed every minute of it.

*

_Caitlin, dearest,_

Caitlin tossed the letter into the fire without even bothering to read what it said.  _I'm not letting him play me again, she thought with fierce determination._

**A/N: **Crappy ending, I know.  Oh well.  Live with it or live without it.  

Next chapter will have them going back to Hogwarts, I think.  Ignore typos, please.  Too lazy to re-read.

I'll try to update faster next time.  Oh, and I'm starting a new story… I haven't found a title for it yet, but when I do, PLEASE R&R!  Thanks!

~*OutofAzkaban*~


	21. Chapter 21: Back Once Again

**Miss Priss Moo Cow- **Well, it's about TIME you reviewed!  Hee... don't worry, I still love you!  That's the naughty rebel Amy I know- reviewing ficcies during Computers!  Tsk tsk!

****

**Moondocc- **Oh thanks!  You really like it?

****

**MPPSexxySiriusJamesRemus- **Yes, in time Luke will get what he deserves.  "A short drop and a sudden stop."  (From POTC.)  No, I'm not going to hang him, don't worry.

****

**BlackLupin- **Whoa, long review!  I loved it though.  Don't worry- I'll make sure Caitlin and Sirius get together in this chapter, I promise.  Or at least one step closer… Lily will come to her senses soon enough-sometime after they get back to school.  Don't worry, I have that all figured out.  Caitlin will get floods of letters from Sirius, though, and she'll get it soon enough.  She's just a stubborn chick, that's all.

****

**uNoeWho- **Yeah, I know who you are.  Thanks for telling me, though.  No, Rita Skeeter's spy was not Alicia…eh, you'll find out later.

****

**Nilu- **Quite a weird name.  Potts.  Interesting.  Yeah, I LOVE BlackLupin's stories!  She's actually a character in TBYA!  Her suggestion.  Can you guess you she is?

****

**~*Bianca*~- **Nah, he's not a Death Eater.  But Luke's not exactly an angel, either.  You'll find out when they go back to Hogwarts what his true _nature is!_

****

**cherri ookami- **Yeah, she is.  I guess she's just hung up on Luke and annoyed with James.  Just sympathize with her.  ^_~

****

**To Be Young Again**

**Chapter 21: Back Once Again**

_Caitlin, baby,_

_Caitlin, dearest,_

_My sweet Cait,_

_Loving Cait,_

_Caitlin, my love,_

_Caitlin, darling,_

This was how Sirius started letter after letter, but never were they read by Caitlin.  They were simply chucked into the fire, where she thought they belonged.

An owl pecked Caitlin's window until it nearly killed itself trying.  Out of sympathy, for the owl had done this about fifty times, Caitlin opened the window.  The owl dropped yet another letter on her bed and left without waiting for her to reply.  Caitlin picked up the envelope, ready to toss it in the growing, well-fed fire.

However, when Caitlin picked up the unsealed envelope, the letter fell out.  Without really knowing why, and out of sheer overwhelming curiosity, Caitlin read Sirius' familiar scrawl.

_            Caitlin,_

_I know I'm a jerk and a fool.  I was a jerk to play you and a fool to let you go.  I miss you terribly; it's like having a constant stomachache.  I miss your company, I miss having you around- I miss you, Cait.  Please allow me to finish my apology… and there's something else I must tell you._

_            Yours,_

_            Sirius_

_Well, at least it was respectful, _Caitlin thought before crumpling up the letter and throwing it on her desk, her eyes welling up with tears.  The letter, however, was still accessible and did not burn.

*

Caitlin awoke with a start.  _What is that bloody noise?  It's midnight- I'm trying to sleep here!  _She thought, aggravated.  Her eyes widened as another rock hit her window.

She got up, walked to the window and pushed it open.  Sirius was grinning at her.

_Figures_, she thought as she crept quietly down the stairs.  She left the house in nothing but her plaid pajama bottoms and her T-shirt.

            "What?" she grumbled, pretending not to have read his letter.

            "I presume you got my letters…?"

            "Yeah, I got them.  They're in my fireplace now, merely ashes.  Your poor owl.  Jeez, give it a break.  Poor thing-"

            "You read the last one," came the cut, quick reply.

            "I- what?"  
  


            "You read the last one," Sirius repeated.

            "I… I…"

            "Listen to me, Caitlin.  I know I've been a jerk and a fool.  I was stupid to let you go.  But most of all, I was scared.  Scared because I'd never felt this… feeling with any of the other girls.  I felt it with _you_.  You may think I'm making it all up, and I don't blame you if you do, but I'm not, Cait.  I… I love you."

Caitlin stood there, too shocked to say anything.

            "I've been aching for you all summer.  Listen to me, Caitlin.  Please.  I love you so much it hurts."

Caitlin said nothing for a minute.  Then all the emotions she had felt for Sirius Black and had been forced to bottle up came spilling out.  She slapped him.

            "W-wha-?"

            "That was for breaking my heart.  And this… this is for coming back for me."  She stood on her tiptoes, leaned forward and kissed him.

A wide grin spread over Sirius' face.  He picked Caitlin up by her waist and spun her around before kissing her face all over and eventually landing on her lips.

*

Caitlin crept back through the front door of the house.  She was grinning like a fool, but she didn't care.  Sirius was hers again.  He loved her and admitted it.  And man, nothing had ever seemed more right.  In her entire life, she felt like this was what she wanted.  Sirius was all she needed.

Then she saw the figure standing by the dining table, eyes intently focused on her.  She gasped softly.

            "So," Jake said, in a casual voice, "I wonder what my baby sister could _possibly be doing at this time of night, outside in nothing but her pajamas."_

            "I…er…"  
  


            "Who was it, Cait?"

            "I… listen, Jake, it was just… Sirius.  A guy that I know from school.  Well…"

            "Tell me the truth, Cait.  I'm only a step away from telling Mum and Dad."

            "No!  Jake… promise you won't tell?"

            "Well… maybe."

            "Well, Sirius was throwing rocks at my window, so I went down there, outside, in just my pajamas 'cause I was really… I dunno, anyway, he pledged his undying love for me and now we live happily ever after."

Jake raised an eyebrow.

            "Okay, so maybe it didn't go exactly like that.  Sirius _was_ throwing rocks at my window, and I _did_ go outside in my pajamas.  He told me he was sorry, and that he really missed me, and… oh, Jake, it was so sincere, I know he wasn't bluffing.  I'm happy now, Jake, truly happy.  Please promise me you won't tell Mum and Dad that I went outside with a boy in the middle of the night?  We didn't do anything, for God's sake."

Jake considered this for a moment.  "Well… alright."

Caitlin's face brightened.  "Thanks, Jake.  You're the greatest."  She swept up the stairs, only stopping to plant a kiss on his cheek lovingly, and proceeded to her room, humming softly.

_            Oh God, _Jake thought.  _My baby sister's in love._

**A/N: **Oh guys, promise me you won't hate me for making this short?  At least I'm updating… Caitlin, I hope you're happy.  ^_~

Next chapter will be the train back and the start of a new year.  Also we'll find out who the Head Boy and Girl are.  *sarcastically* I wonder who they could be? ^_~  And the chapter after that, we'll find out what Luke's got up his sleeve.

Review!

~*OutofAzkaban*~


	22. Chapter 22: Ironic Predictions

**BlackLupin******Well that review just made MY day. YOU'RE WELCOME, YOU'RE WELCOME, YOU'RE WELCOME!!!

**SilverCrescent- **Thank you so much! Yes, winter break is over- you know what that means? No, Jake won't be a major part of the story.

**Nilu******Yes, BlackLupin is Caitlin. Good guess.

**MPPSexxySiriusJamesRemus******Why, thank you! I like him too. Who doesn't?

**uNoeWho**********Yes, yes, I know it was INCREDIBLY short, sorry, I really am! This one will be long and satisfactory, however. I hope…

**Lanette******Cool! I have a new reviewer! Thanks for reading!

**To Be Young Again**

**Chapter 22: Ironic Predictions**

Caitlin packed her bags, humming to herself. She had been in a great mood that morning, except for her eager, desperate longing for Sirius. Her grin hadn't worn off the entire morning. Now it was ten o'clock, and she was finishing her last-minute packing for Hogwarts. Lily Evans was mimicking her.

Lily was packing her suitcase, her music playing as she sang along.

_One day I woke up_

_Woke up knowing_

_Today is the day I will die_

_Cashdogg__ was barking_

_Went to the park and enjoyed it one last time_

_Called my mother_

_Told her I loved her and begged her not to cry_

_ Wrote her a letter that said I miss her and signed that goodbye…_

_You know the happiest day of my life_

_I swear the happiest day of my life is the day that I died_

Lily sand with the music, "Can you feel the cold tonight? It sets in but it's alright. Darkness falls I'm letting go. All alone but I feel fine!"

_We took a drive and we drove thru D.C._

_To see the places we lived, long conversations_

_We talked of old friends and all the things that we did_

_Summer nights, drunken fights_

_Mistakes we made…did we live it right_

"You know the happiest day of my life, I swear the happiest day of my life is the day that I died," Lily sang as she tossed a few more items into her suitcase.

_Can you feel the cold tonight_

_It sets in but it's alright_

_Darkness falls I'm letting go_

_All alone but I feel fine_

_You know the happiest day of my life_

_I swear the happiest day of my life is the day that I died_

_Can you feel the cold tonight_

_It sets in but it's alright_

_ Darkness falls I'm letting go_

_All alone but I feel fine_

Lily closed her suitcase and ran down the stairs as her father honked the horn, not knowing what ironic outcome the 'effect' of her song might have.

"Hey, Lily!"

Lily whirled around. There stood Caitlin, positively glowing, as she waved at Lily and her suitcase. Lily waved back, and then after saying goodbye to her father ran to Caitlin as best as she could under the heavy weight of her luggage.

"How've you been?"

"Oh, Lily, just wait till I tell you-"

The subject of Caitlin's glowing; her appearance, her positive outlook and optimism appeared. Sirius Black, looking handsome as ever, waved to Caitlin, before running over to her and kissing her.

Lily's jaw hit the ground

"W-wha…does someone care to explain exactly _what_ is going on?"

"We got back together," Caitlin said simply. "I'll give you the details on the train."

Caitlin ended up telling her story a half dozen times, as all her friends arrived at least ten minutes in between each other. She never tired of the storytelling, however.

"Will Lily Evans and James Potter please come to the first car, please?" Dumbledore's voice rang through the train.

"What is it, Lils?" Arabella asked.

"I don't know," Lily answered, shaking her head in confusion as she made her way to the front of the train.

Dumbledore was smiling as Lily approached him, James behind her. Lily looked at him in disgust.

"Congratulations," Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling. "You have been made Head Boy and Head Girl."

Lily had been anticipating this for years. She had always wanted to become Head Girl, and her dreams had come true. However, the look on her face suggested that she had wanted nothing to do with the position.

"I…I'm…Head Girl?" Lily squeaked. "And he's… oh, God."

"Yes, well, I'm sure you two can accommodate yourselves quite nicely. You will spend the remainder of the trip with Professor Snape, as she kindly explains your duties. Good luck."

Lily groaned as Dumbledore left.

"Stuck. With. You," she said disbelievingly.

"Don't act so shocked, Evans. You knew it all along. And it isn't really a cruise for me, either, being stuck with you."

Truth be told, Lily _had_ known in her gut she'd become Head Girl, and she had a feeling James would become Head Boy. It was just one of those things.

Sylvia Snape walked in the cabin.

"First," she started briskly, "you two will not attend the Sorting ceremony when we reach Hogwarts. You will instead be shown your Head Lounge, and be giving new prefects their duties."

"Excuse me, professor," Lily interrupted, "but what exactly is the Head Lounge?"

"The Head Lounge is where the prefect meetings will be held. There is a password, and only you two can change it. You may go in there whenever you like, but prefects are only allowed in there for meetings. You must attend _all _prefect meetings, both of you. Failure to meet your duties… well, let's not go there, shall we?"

Lily gulped.

"And I have matters to attend to. There is a staff meeting and I must leave. You two remain here and just…discuss things. You have a long year ahead of you."

She left, robes swishing behind her.

Lily looked sullen. She tied her hands in a knot and stared at them. There was an empty silence hanging in the air for the next few minutes.

"Well," James said slowly, "Maybe… maybe we should… patrol the corridors…"

Lily jumped up at once. "Good idea." She was out the door in a flash.

James looked sorry behind her.

"Welcome everyone, to the first Feast of the year! Welcome to the new and welcome back to the old!" Dumbledore said delightedly, after the Sorting had been taken care of. "Now, I have a few starting words… tidbit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! Let the feast begin!" Dumbledore clapped his hands twice and food appeared on the plates and drink in the goblets.

Lily and James, having just returned from their dormitory, sat down and began to eat.

Nikki Gryfan slipped on Vylette Snyder's Invisibility Cloak. She tiptoed to the Ravenclaw table and crept next to Lily's goblet. Whispering, Nikki pointed her wand at the goblet beside Lily's. It tipped over and send pumpkin juice flying onto the lap of Arabella Figg, who screamed and tried to soak it up in napkins.

While the commotion was at its peak, Nikki tipped a vial of light blue liquid into Lily's goblet. She crept back to the Gryffindor table and was never missed.

Lily took a sip of her drink, laughing and talking with Jane, Amanda and Arabella. She gagged slightly, then fell back off the bench and lay motionless.

**A/N: **Hee… I'm so evil.

I've really got nothing to say, except… REVIEW! And please be nice!

OutofAzkaban


	23. Chapter 23: Feeling Obligated

**MPPSexxySiriusJamesRemus- **First reviewer for this chapter!  And thank you!  You really do stand up for Lils, don't ya?  ^_~

**uNoeWho- **I know I'm evil.  *grins* But someone has to get hurt in order for Lils and Jamesie to get together… mwah!

**Lanette- **Didn't I tell you who Sylvia Snape was?!?!  Oh yeah, it must have been in the deleted chapter 8 of this story… oops!  Well, let me make it clear.  I think it was Snape's older sister, I believe, but she's nice and humane, unlike Snape.  And Percy probably did go back to his own dormitory, but I changed my ficcy because… well, Lily and James must get together, right?

**BlackLupin- **That song was by Good Charlotte, in case you wanted to know.  One of my favorite groups- don't diss 'em!  Lily won't die till Harry's a year old; I know that… it was just a freaky little twist I threw in.  About that prank, any suggestions?  Of course, once James and Lily get together they won't do it… unless Sirius and Caitlin decide to pull the prank… hmm.  We'll see.  ^_~ And I have a vague, slight idea how long this will be… no, I don't.  Just kidding.  It'll last a satisfactory amount of time, though.

**moonlightgirl*ChoChang- **I just get this feeling that you're starting to hate me more and more… but you can e-mail me, you know- that's what I mean by winter break being over… and she's not dead, but that was the ironic prediction.

**Nilu- **Hehe yeah, good job again.  No, it's not deadly.  Why would I kill Lils off?!?!

**cherri ookami- **Um, I'd like to request something of you.  Thanks for being a faithful reviewer, but… could I have a little more feedback on my chapters, please?  Thank you.

**A/N: **I apologize a thousand times to all of you for the long wait.  I've been so busy with school, and everything's really hectic right now.  Lots of tests, projects… you know the deal.  I'm trying my very hardest but some people just expect more and more and guess who MUST meet those standards?  Oh, and now that spring break's here, I'll be writing every spare moment I get. Thanks all!

            Also, I might not be able to give individual review responses for awhile. I apologize, but my computer has been back up and running for a while, but my dad and I haven't gotten around to fixing my e-mail address up yet. It will be changed, but I will make modifications to my profile thing so you guys can see it. Thanks again!

**To Be Young Again**

****

**Chapter 23: Feeling Obligated**

James tentatively touched the girl's cheek.  His hand drew back quickly, surprised at the icy feeling.  He had hesitated to follow Dumbledore to the Hospital Wing, but somehow he felt it was his duty to watch over her.

It was now midnight, the entire school asleep, save for James in the Hospital Wing in his Invisibility Cloak.

Footsteps sounded in the hall.  James ducked quickly behind the bed, his cloak still concealing him.  A tall blonde figure walked in.  James' fists clenched angrily in recognition.

Luke bent over the girl and kissed her forehead lightly.  He slipped something into her hand and left.  James got up and opened her hand gently.

_Lily,_

_Meet me at the Slytherin Common Room.  I've told the portrait to permit you.  There's something very important I must say._

_Luke_

James crumpled up the note angrily and threw it across the room.  _I bet she would go when he asked her to, _he thought heatedly.  After his anger and jealousy had receded, he fingered the girl's hand lovingly.  A whisper escaped his mouth.

            _"Lily…"_

*

_Come get me… someone…_

Lily wanted to answer for reasons unbeknownst to her, but her mouth would not open.  She screamed.  No sound escaped.  She screamed Luke's name, Caitlin's name, Arabella, Jane…

Nothing.

*

"Why, hello, young men," the nurse said cheerfully.

"Good morning, Madam Pomfrey," Luke Walker replied.  "Is Lily…?"

"I'm sorry," Madam Pomfrey's face darkened.  "Miss Evans has not yet awoken.  She cannot hear you either, so don't bother talking to the girl."

Luke noticed the piece of parchment missing from Lily's open hand.

            "Madam Pomfrey, are you sure…?"  
  


            "Nothing, Mr. Walker.  Nothing."

            "Was there a piece of parchment…?"

            "Nothing," she repeated.

Luke nodded, somewhat puzzled.

*

Yet another night, James stayed at the Hospital Wing under his Invisibility Cloak, his legs tucked and curled into a ball. He sat there, huddled, not knowing what to do, and yet not caring. He looked upon Lily's face, peaceful and at rest, her lips curved into a faint smile. She was obviously dreaming, and it was a better dream than the nightmare she had had the night before.  James sat there for hours, all through the night, not caring what the rest of the school—or world—was doing.

_Warm October nights_

_            You came and cuddled next to me, baby yeah yeah yeah_

_            Our noses brushed so close_

_            I wished it was our souls_

_            Drifting off to sleep_

_I could hear the little snores you made_

_Watching eyes shut tight_

_Like doors to something sweeter where you rest_

_Tear me off a piece of blanket_

_Keep me warm and we can make it_

_Here's my heart, I'll let you break it_

_Touched your skin and I can't take it_

_Light will creep in soon_

_And I still haven't slept a wink, baby yeah yeah yeah_

_I wish the sun would hide its head_

_So I could watch you dream some more_

_Wished the sun would hide its head_

_So I could watch you dream some more_

_I wanna watch you dream some more_

_I wanna watch you dream some more_

_I wanna watch you dream some more_

_I wanna watch you dream some more girl_

_I wanna watch you dream some more_

_I wanna watch you_

_I wanna watch you dream some more_

_I wanna watch you dream some more girl_

_ I wanna watch you dream some more_

_I wanna watch you_

_Tear me off a piece of blanket_

_Keep me warm and we can make it_

_Here's my heart, I'll let you break it_

_Touched your skin_

            "James?"

James' head whipped up. Sirius stood in the doorway.

            "What are you doing here?" James asked.

            "I might ask you the same question." As James opened his mouth to protest, Sirius said, "Actually, I noticed you haven't been in the dorms for two nights straight and went looking for you. I thought I might find you here."

            "Oh." James didn't know what to say. "Thanks."

            "Sure." There was a pause.  "James, you know you can't stay here all night, every night. What about…friends? Pranks? Even homework?"

            "Oh, you know I can get the work done," James said dismissively. "I always find a way. As for friends and pranking, we do that all day. Come on, Padfoot."

            "Well, then what about sleep, Prongs?"

            "Sirius, I've got it all figured out. I made a potion that'll keep me awake in class. Don't worry about me."

            "I'll try not to." Sirius turned to leave.  He turned around again. "James, you know she doesn't deserve someone as good as you. You've been faithful but you know she doesn't care.  She has a boyfriend now.  I know you're in love with her, but… she just won't have you, Prongs.  You're so good to her but she won't repay you. I'm sorry." He left.

James' face was downcast, knowing that what he had known was out in the open now.

*

            "Madam Pomfrey, may I speak to you?" Professor Albus Dumbledore stuck his head through the doorway to Poppy Pomfrey's office.

            "Of course, Albus, what is it?"

            "It's about Miss Evans."

            "No offense, Professor Dumbledore, but shouldn't Armando be coming in? After all, he is headmaster."

            "Yes, well, Armando is busy right now. I've come to ask you- have you diagnosed the potion yet?"

            "Well, I think I'm right in believing that it was a powerful sleeping potion, though it was not the Draught of the Living Dead. I'm not exactly sure what it is, however. Why did you ask?"

            "A student who is very attached to Miss Evans is… at a loss."

Madam Pomfrey nodded.  "Alright, Albus. Whatever you say."

            "Good day, Poppy."

**A/N: **Hey people! Sorry about the long wait. That song was by Yellowcard ("October Nights"). One of my favorite songs.  Sorry if I got the lyrics wrong- I got 'em off a website.  If you wanna let me know in a review the right lyrics if I got them wrong, feel free to.  It's open to suggestion.

The chapter was kinda pointless, I know, but Lily will be waking up soon.  Coming up next chapter:

- Possibly Lily's revival

- A surprising fact about Luke we have not yet discovered

- Maybe a couple other things. Don't know right now.

And if you see a typo (i.e., a spelling error or grammatical error or whatever else), please notify me in a review so I can fix it.  Thanks!

Don't have much to say. Review!

~*OutofAzkaban*~


	24. Chapter 24: Revealed

**A/N: **Thanks to EVERYONE who reviewed! I apologize that this time I will not be able to respond to each one personally, but next time I will certainly try my best. I love you all!

****

**To Be Young Again**

****

**Chapter 24: Revealed**

_How do I get myself out of this mess? How did I get in? _Lily asked herself that night, with James still sitting by her side, but Lily not knowing it.

_Where am I?_

James noticed Lily's slightly furrowed brow. _She must be having a nightmare or something, _he thought. He brushed her hair away from her forehead and lifted her hand into his. He lifted it to his lips, and brushed it gently. Lily stirred slightly, and James' heart leapt. She became still again. James strode away quickly, scared of what he had done.

"Oh," said James slowly. "I think I understand."

He was sitting in Professor Dumbledore's office, trying to process the information about Lily Dumbledore had given him.

"Thanks."

Lily stirred again, this time at 7:35 AM. Her eyelids fluttered, and slowly opened. She glanced around at her unfamiliar white surroundings. Carefully, she got out of bed, her bare feet touching the cold stone floor. Only in a nightgown, she spotted her Hogwarts robe lying on the headboard. Using the bed to support herself, Lily made her way to her robe and quickly threw it on. Staggering, she made it to the door of the Hospital Wing, stepped outside, and bumped into someone.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," the young male pulled her to her feet. He looked at her face.

"Lily," James breathed. "I- I mean, Evans. You're awake."

"Very good, Potter," Lily snapped. "Now, what time is it?"

"Er, about 7:40 AM. Come on; let's get you to your room. You need to sleep."

"Huh? No!" Lily was outraged. "I need to find my way to Herbology…"

"It can wait. Come on."

"No." At that moment, Lily lost her balance and fell. James caught her. In his arms.

He helped her make her way up two flights of stairs.

"Hey, Potter, what are you doing with my girl?"

"_Your _girl?"

"Yeah, my girl."

_Huh? _Lily opened her half-closed eyes.

"Luke! What are you doing here?" She threw her arms around him.

"See? I'm the only one that can wake her," Luke hissed to James. To Lily, he said, "I go to school here. My mom decided we'd stay here for the rest of the school year."

"Wow," Lily's eyes sparkled.

Sick of this reunion, James spoke up. "Excuse me, but I'm trying to escort Evans to her room."

"And I can do that just as well as you can." Luke glared at James menacingly.

"No, no, Luke. He's the only one that knows the password." Quickly and weakly, Lily explained about the Head Boy/Head Girl situation, and that they were going to the Head Lounge. "I promise I'll be okay." Luke glared threateningly, but stomped off.

As Lily fainted into James' arms again, James whispered the password and hauled the girl into the room.

He laid her on the bed carefully with a sigh. She mumbled something in her half-sleep. To James, it sounded like, "Stay." So he did.

Rested and well, Lily got dressed and went to find her friends. There was no sign of James.

Lily made her way down several sets of stairs, receiving greetings from a few admiring students. It was about two o'clock in the afternoon, so half the school was in class.

As she passed the Great Hall, Lily heard two voices. One was familiar.

"How is she?" Jeff Bradley, a Slytherin, was asking.

"Awesome," Luke replied.

"Man, I still can't believe you're gonna bed the hottest girl in school."

"I know." Luke grinned. "And she doesn't suspect a thing. Lily totally trusts me. It's no wonder I was put in Slytherin. I am totally cunning," he smirked.

Lily, not believing what she was hearing, decided to approach it slowly. She entered the Great Hall.

"Hey Lily," Luke said in his deep, sexy voice. He truly looked like he was genuinely happy to see her. His eyes, though, were ice cold.

"I love you…" he said, starting to kiss her. Lily stepped back.

"Are you mad?" Luke was puzzled. "What's wrong? Hey-" he said with a small-but-friendly grin, "we were just talking about you, weren't we, Jeff? About how great you were, and how-"

"I'd be great in bed, am I right?" Lily said coldly.

Luke looked appalled. "Lily, how could you assume such a thing? I-"

"Assumption is not the case. I heard everything."

"Er, well…" Luke looked at Jeff for help. He offered none.

"Explain," Lily commanded.

"Wha-?"

Lily slapped him hard, with tears in her eyes. "You owe me one, you bastard."

"Well, um… Jeff and I had a bet. He said if I could get you…er, in bed, he'd give me fifty Galleons. If I didn't, I'd give him fifty Galleons."

"Well, I guess you just lost fifty Galleons, didn't you?" Lily said coldly. "How- I can't believe you would-"

Lily burst into tears and ran back to her dormitory where she laid her face on her pillow and cried. On her way out, she heard Jeff Bradley's voice saying, "Forget her, man. There are tons more women in this school, and I'm sure others won't be as snoopy as her."

James went back to the Head Lounge after a day of running on no sleep, exhausted. He took of his Hogwarts robe, where he had jeans and a T-shirt on underneath. He was about to stretch out on his couch, when he realized there was someone already on it.

"Evans! What the hell do you think you're doing in here?!"

Lily slowly opened her eyes and lifted her head. Her eyes were bloodshot and puffy, and there were tear streaks on her cheeks. Her nose was red, too. She looked as miserable as James had ever imagined someone could look.

"Sorry," she managed, her voice barely above a whisper. "I must've not-" she hiccuped- "looked where I was going." She got up to leave. James stopped her.

"No, sit." He pushed her back on the couch, pulled up a chair, and sat in it. He looked genuinely concerned. "What happened?"

Lily explained- with a lot of sobbing- about Luke's scam. James wrapped an arm awkwardly around her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her.

There was a sharp rap on the door. Lily jumped up. There was another knock.

"Lily? Lily, its Amanda. Open up quick!"

James evacuated promptly. Lily unlatched the door. Amanda stood there, her cheeks pink, panting heavily from running. She thrust a piece of parchment in Lily's face.

"Read this," she commanded.

Lily sank down on the chair James had previously been occupying.

"Oh, no," she groaned.

_Rita Skeeter's Gossip Column_

_Hogwarts' juicy gossip!_

_Have you ever wondered what the oddest couple in school would be like? How about Lily Evans and James Potter? Sounds far-fetched, doesn't it? Read on!-_

_One night last year, while lying in her dormitory, Lily Evans confessed to Amanda Smith that she had a secret passion for one of the school's most-wanted bachelors- James Potter!_

"_Well… you know how James… well, likes me? Or at least he used to? Well, I hate him. You know that. The whole school knows that. But, um… after… well, I don't know when, actually- sometime this year- I think… Amanda, you have to promise not to tell anyone._

_"Well, at some point, I think I might've fallen for him."_

_Is this really true? Vote yes or no now to Rita Skeeter, Hufflepuff._

It showed a picture of Lily, looking truly beautiful, and one of James, one of the two most handsome males at Hogwarts. Then it showed a picture of Lily and James arguing in the halls.

"I think this was the best sale she ever made," Amanda commented quietly.

"Oh, no," Lily repeated. "How'd this get out? Oh, God."

"How'd what get out?" James asked, returning from his shower. His hair was damp.

"Nothing that concerns you," Lily lied, putting the parchment as far away from James as she could. James, being taller, snatched it quickly. His eyes widened.

"Is this true, Evans?"

"Of course not," Lily snapped. She snatched it back and strode off to her room.

**A/N: **Thanks all!

I'm starting my sequel to HTS called "Chasing Memory." I've written the first chapter and will upload it ASAP.

Review! If you have questions/comments, please say so in your review and I'll do my best to get back to you.

Also- I'm starting high school, and I have a question: do you guys think 3 Honors classes is too much if you want to be on the soccer team and be in a couple of clubs?

Thanks!

xoxo-

OutofAzkaban__


	25. Chapter 25: Commitments

**To Be Young Again**

****

**Chapter 25: Commitments**

            _Hey._

_            Hey!_

_            Are you busy tonight?_

_            Just Transfiguration homework._

_            Hogsmeade?_

_            Sure!_

_7. __Common Room._

Caitlin nodded at Sirius.  She folded up the note, pointed her want at it, and muttered something.  It dissolved into ashes.  Her lips wore a smug yet happy smile.  It would be her and Sirius' first date since they got back together, and she knew it would be great.

James burst into the room, breathless.

            "Sorry I'm late," he panted.  "Got held up."

Lily eyed him coldly.  "You were supposed to be here ten minutes ago, Potter.  As Head Boy, you should be fulfilling your duties.  Sit.  I've just given the prefects their welcome and duties."

            "Great.  And judging by their looks, they're about ready to fall asleep from that lecture," James remarked.

Lily ignored him.  "As some of you may know, this meeting has been called to arrange events for this year.  Any ideas?"

            "What about a carnival?" A Muggle-born fifth-year, David McCowley, asked.

            "Er," Lily looked uncertain but wrote it down anyway.

            "Or a ball," Kristen Abbot said dreamily.

            "Yeah!"  Megan Chleo seconded.  "A Yule Ball.  At Christmastime."

            "It has to fit our budget…" Lily said uneasily.

            "Which is…?" James asked.

Lily gave him a _You-are-Head-Boy-you-should-know-this _glare and told him.

            "Easy," James remarked.  "All in favor of a Christmas Yule Ball say 'aye'!"

            "Aye!" the prefects echoed.

Lily sighed.  "I guess it's decided, then."

            "You guys agree on anything?" Sirius asked his best friend at four that afternoon.

            "Yeah," James said absentmindedly.  "Christmas Yule Ball."

            "Hmm…" Sirius was deep in thought for a moment.  Then he dashed out of the Gryffindor Common Room.

            "Thanks!" he called over his shoulder.

James just shrugged.

            "Wow," Sirius breathed.  "You look… beautiful."

            "Thanks," Caitlin blushed.  "Where are we going?"

            "You'll see."  He took her hand.

            "In Hogsmeade, they approached a fancy restaurant.

            "Oh my god," Caitlin whispered, awestruck.  "We're going _here_?"

            "Yup," Sirius grinned proudly.  He led her in.

            "Well, hello, Mr. Black," the waiter greeted them.

            "Hello, Ross," Sirius replied.

            "And Miss…?"

            "Caitlin Taylor," Caitlin answered him.

            "Miss Taylor.  Follow me, please."

            "So," Caitlin said once they were seated and Ross had left.  "We never really got to talk before…"

            "Yeah," Sirius cut her off.  "Why don't you tell me about yourself?"

            "Well," Caitlin started, somewhat taken aback by the interruption, "I really like skiing--a Muggle sport-- and I have one older brother.  I like to read, and I… um… I can't really think of much to say about me, though.  I have a pretty ordinary life.  Well, apart from you," she couldn't resist adding.  "Why don't you tell me about yourself?"

            "Well," Sirius said quickly, "I am a Marauder, have a younger brother and a pretty normal life, too."

            "Um… okay," Caitlin replied uneasily, slightly shocked by his quick, let's-leave-it-there tone.

After their dinner, Sirius suggested, "Let's go for a walk."

            "Sirius, it's freezing out there!" Caitlin exclaimed.

Sirius draped his coat around Caitlin and they walked along the grass, admiring the view.  When Caitlin's legs grew tired, they sat down upon a hill overlooking Hogsmeade.

Caitlin leaned her head on his shoulder.  "This was really romantic, Sirius," she said.

"Caitlin," Sirius said.  "Did Lily ever mention anything about a Yule Ball?"

"Yeah," Caitlin replied.  "She said that there was going to be one at Christmastime or something.  Why?"

"Oh, nothing."  There was a pause.  Then, "Uh…" Sirius sat up straight.  "Caitlin, can I ask you something?"

"Sure.  What is it?"

Sirius leaned and pulled something out of his pocket.  He presented a small dark blue velvet box to Caitlin.

She looked at him questioningly, but her curiosity got the better of her and she opened it.  Inside was a silver necklace, delicate and fragile yet so gloriously beautiful that it took Caitlin's breath away.

            "Oh my god," she whispered.  "Oh, my, god."

            "Do you like it?" Sirius asked shyly.

            "Do I like it?  It's gorgeous!  How could you afford something like this?"

            "Never mind," Sirius waved it away.  "Caitlin… will you be my date for the Yule Ball?  And… the year after that?"

            "Oh, my god," Caitlin breathed.  "Does this mean…?"

            "Yes," Sirius confirmed.  "After all these weeks of you nagging me, I've finally decided I'm ready to make a commitment."

Caitlin blushed a little, but glowed.  "Sorry about the nagging," she apologized.  She hugged him.

            "I love you, Sirius Black," she whispered.

            "I love you too, Caitlin Taylor."

"Jamesie," a cute blonde sixth-year sidled up to James.  "I heard there's a Yule Ball at Christmas coming up…"

James was extremely annoyed.  That was the eighth time that day, and classes hadn't even begun yet.

"Yes, I know.  Do you have a date yet?"

The girl brightened.  "No.  I was wondering-"

"Well, you'd better get one," James replied.  "'Cause it's not going to be me."  He walked away quickly, trying to make it to the Gryffindor Tower where he would be at least somewhat safe from all the dateless girls.

_Damn,_ he thought.  _Everyone wants to go to the ball with me.  But the one person I want to take has no interest in me._

**A/N: ** Thanks everyone for your support!  I'm leaving for Washington, D.C. on a class trip on Sunday, May 9th and won't be returning until Saturday, May 15th, so I decided to give you something (short as it may be) to keep you going and not get _too_ mad at me.  

Sorry it sucked!  And sorry it was so short- I just wanted to give you a little something to keep ya going!

Review please!  And give me lots of feedback!

I love you all!

OutofAzkaban


	26. Chapter 26: Attempts

**To Be Young Again**

****

**Chapter 26: Attempts**

            "Lily," the seventh-year boy was saying, "will you go to the Ball with me?"

Lily barely heard him.  "Sorry," she told him quickly, still scanning the crowd for James Potter.  When she saw him, she left the poor seventh-year and dashed toward James. 

Then she noticed all the girls that were surrounding him: blond-haired, blue-eyed beauties.  _I could never measure up to them,_ she thought miserably, and ditched her last attempt to ask James Potter to the Yule Ball.

-

James noticed flaming red hair he could not mistake for anyone else but the owner.  He attempted to move through the crowd in an effort to reach her, but failed.  His heart sank as she ran toward the stairs.  _She'd never want to be with me._

-

Lily was making her way back to her dormitories after Astronomy with Professor Sinistra.  She loved to stargaze, did it often actually, but making charts and writing names and identifying constellations was a bore.  She was about to turn the corner when she ran into someone.

            "Oof!" she exclaimed aloud, as they both crumpled to the floor.  She watched as the tall figure stood up, brushed itself off, and extended a hand toward Lily.  She took it.  As she stood up, she recognized the boy's face.

            "Chris?" she asked incredulously.  Lily had had an obsessive crush on Chris Birkham since her third year, and couldn't believe he was actually holding her hand (though it was not intentional).

            "Oh, hey Lily," Chris said in a deep voice.  "Just the person I was looking for."

Lily's heart fluttered.  Chris had been looking for her!  He had actually wanted to talk to her!

            "Um…" was all she could manage.  "Hey, Chris."

Chris smiled in the dark.  "So, did you hear about the Yule Ball coming up at Christmas?"

If it had been anyone else, Lily would have shot them a _duh-_look, and then clearly stated that she was Head Girl and of _course_ she knew these things.  With Chris, though, Lily seemed to have lost her sarcasm and her ability to think.

            "Um," she repeated.  "Yeah."

            "Well, I was wondering if you'd like to go with me."

Lily was beyond belief.  Chris Birkham, the hottest guy in the seventh year besides James Potter and Sirius Black, was asking her out!  To the Ball!

Then Lily thought fleetingly of James.  She pushed the thought to the back of her mind quickly and replaced it with, _He'll find another girl.  He wouldn't want me anyway.  And I don't want him._

            "Y-yes," Lily stammered.  "I'd love to go with you."

Chris flashed his killer smile.  "Great.  I'll see you then."

Lily floated up to her dormitory.

-

            "Chris Birkham?  No way!"  Jane exclaimed when Lily was back in the Ravenclaw girls' dormitory. 

            "Yup," Lily grinned proudly.

            "What about James?" Arabella asked quietly.

            "What about him?" Lily looked surprised. 

            "I thought you two were going to go together," Arabella confessed sheepishly.

Lily looked incredulous.  "What?  How could you think that I would go with that pig?"

Amanda cut in.  "Well, since it's obvious from the way that you two look at each other, I would go with Arabella's prediction myself."

Lily shot her a look and stated, "I'm going with Chris Birkham, and that's that.  I have absolutely no feelings for James and I don't want you three making it out like I did or have."  She pulled the covers around her and shut her eyes, pretending to fall asleep.

But Amanda knew better.  Lily had confided in her, and she knew that Lily's heart still had eyes for James, although her brain didn't know it yet.

-

_Okay, Potter.  It's now or never.  _James approached Lily, bustling to her morning classes.  At his touch, Lily dropped all her books.

            "Oh, uh, hi, James," she said distractedly.

            "Lily, d'you… er, wanna go to the Yule Ball with me?"

Lily dropped the books she had picked up.

            "W-what?" she stammered.

            "I know you think this is kinda weird," James said quickly.  "But I was wondering if you'd like to go with me to the Ball on Christmas night."

            "Oh, I'm really sorry, James.  I'm already going with someone."  Lily gathered her books in her arms and walked hastily away.

_You fool! _ James berated himself.  _She's never shown any interest in you!  How could you ever imagine she'd say yes?_

-

Nikki Gryfan sidled up to James Potter.  She flipped her hair, batted her eyelashes, and put on her best flirtatious smile.

            "Jamesie," she cooed, "there's a Yule Ball coming up and I'm not going with anyone…"

James was about to cut her off when he spotted Lily hanging on Chris Birkham's arm.  His heart drooped but his mind was angry and defiant.  _I don't need her…_

            "Gry—_Nikki-_-, first of all, never call me Jamesie again in your life or you will regret it.  Two, yes, I will take you to the Ball."

Nikki squealed, then gained her composure, and walked slowly off to tell her friends about her dream date.

James sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

-

Arabella, Amanda, and Caitlin watched Lily marvel over many dresses at the shop in Hogsmeade.  They watched as she tried on short and long dresses, silk and sating dresses, green and blue and white dresses, not saying a word.  They all felt that Lily was going to the Ball with the wrong man.

Lily finally emerged in an emerald green dress that matched her eyes perfectly.  She looked truly stunning as she spun around and her friends enthusiastically seconded it.  Lily checked out the expensive dress (paid for by Arabella, Amanda, Jane and Caitlin as a Christmas gift).

They stopped in a small _quills, etc._ shop on their way back to the castle because Amanda's quill had been turned into a pillow and had not been successful in the attempt of Transfiguring it back.  Lily spotted something in the window that caught her eye.

It was an almost-ordinary silver inkwell, and had a lion emblazoned upon it.  The lion's jaw was wide as if it was roaring and ready to attack at any moment, but the artist had captured it so magnificently that it looked like it also had something to hide.  Something dark, deep inside that was a secret vulnerability.  Lily noticed that there was also a bird on it, though she couldn't tell what, a dove or a raven or something of the like.  There was also a serpent on the lower portion of it, reared and ready to strike.  Lily couldn't take her eyes off it.  It seemed to have entranced her.

She slipped into the store quietly and avoided her friends.  She picked up the silver inkwell and took it to the counter.  The old wizard there was looking like he was about to fall asleep, so Lily had to ring the bell quite a few times to get his attention.

            "Excuse me," she whispered, trying not to let her friends overhear, "but how much is this?"

            "Thirty-seven sickles, my dear," the wizard replied.  "But why are we whispering?"

            "I…er… have a bad cold… wait!  Did you say _thirty-seven sickles_?"

            "I'm afraid so, dear," the old man replied.  "It's one of a kind."

Grumbling, Lily dug up the money—the last of the amount she had—and handed it to the shopkeeper.  He grinned and Lily noticed he had quite a few teeth missing.

            "Merry Christmas, my dear," he wheezed.  Lily smiled quickly, tucked her purchase into her bag which held the dress, and walked outside into the snow.

-

**A/N:  **I know it's pretty short, people, but I've been working hard on it… hope you like it!

Coming up in the next chapter:

- James' POV and experiences

- Lily & Chris

- Possibly Sirius and Caitlin, if I can fit it

And then the Yule Ball!  Twists and turns are headed your way!

Don't forget to review!

OutofAzkaban


	27. Chapter 27: The Yule Ball

**BlackLupin- **Of course it is.  Who _wouldn't_ buy things for James? grins And thanks!  I'm a graduate!  AAIIIEE!  And Jamesie won't be stuck with Nikki dear for long… sly grin

**Potts- **Yes, I have introduced Chris already.  Read chapter 26 again before you read this; you'll understand it better.  Thanks for being such a faithful reviewer!  Keep reading!

**Lanette- **Oh, don't worry, you will hear about Lily's dress!  Thanks for reviewing!

**MPPSexxySiriusJamesRemus- **Thanks for being so faithful!

**A/N: **First things first: I have 2 apologies to make to all of you.  I'm sorry about the incredible wait for this chapter; I've been so busy but I know that's not an excuse.  Its summer and I should be getting more writing in, but my dad is pressuring me to do more math and discouraging me from writing.  I promise you all, I am writing every spare moment I get.

Secondly, I'm sorry I wasn't quite able to capture the Yule Ball scene quite right.  I'm sure you all know what I meant, though, and can capture it in your minds.  (Oh, god, I sound like a bloody philosopher.)

Third and lastly, I know I skipped the chapter that I said was going to be next and kind of crammed it into this one.  I hope you like!  Enjoy!****

**Chapter 27: The Yule Ball **

James stared at the wall ahead of him, bringing his spoon to his mouth nonchalantly, a bored expression on his face.  Nikki Gryfan chatted in his ear, and for once in his life James was actually listening.  Hence the bored expression.

He had decided to make an effort to get along with Nikki, since she was going to be his date, but hadn't made much progress.  The only plus side was that James was now well-informed of the Hogwarts gossip.

In the midst of his thoughts, a tawny owl swooped down and landed in James' cereal.  _Morning mail, _he thought glumly.

            "Hey, look, James!  You've got mail!" Nikki exclaimed.

James stared at her.  "Thank you for stating the obvious," he said.  He opened the envelope.  It was a letter from his parents.

            _James, _it read,__

_            We have just received word that Hogwarts will be hosting a Yule Ball on Christmas Eve.  We will make the journey there to see how you are faring.  We hope you will remember your standing.  You are a Potter.  We hope that your date will be worthy._

_            Sincerely,_

_            Mother and Father_

James crumpled up the letter and threw it at the wall in anger.  The letter was reduced to ashes.

-

Lily had gotten to know Chris Birkham a lot over the past few days, and was pleased to discover that they had a lot in common.  She could not wait for the Ball that night.

At the end of the day, Lily was in her dorm, opening the bag which contained her dress.  She slipped into it.

It was an emerald green dress that matched her eyes perfectly.  It had a V-neck, was spaghetti-strapped, and the bottom was cut unevenly.  It sparkled and shone, just like Lily herself. 

Caitlin helped Lily do her hair.  It was piled on top of her head, but a few of her fiery ringlets escaped the knot and tumbled down her shoulders.  She was exquisite.

Caitlin wore a dark blue dress with cap sleeves.  Her hair cascaded down her back, but was held from her face by silver hair spin pins.

They were ready.

-

Chris met Lily in the Common Room.

            "Wow," he breathed when he saw her.  "You look… beautiful."

Lily blushed.  "Thanks," she whispered.  He took her hand and led her to the Great Hall.

The four long tables had disappeared, and at the far end of the room was a stage where Fusion were setting up.  The lights were dimmed, and there was soft glitter falling from the enchanted ceiling.

More couples arrived and finally, the music started.  The first song was fast, and, since she was a little shy about dancing, Lily chose to sit down during that one.  The next one she got up and danced with Chris for.

Hours passed, and a slow song came on.  At the moment Lily was about to dance with Chris, a voice over her shoulder spoke.  A horribly familiar one.

            "Excuse me," her worst nightmare addressed Chris, "may I borrow your date for this dance?  I promise to return her afterward."

Chris nodded, unsuspicious, gave Lily a kiss on the cheek, and went to get a drink.

James led Lily to a corner of the dance floor, away from most of the dancing couples.

            "James Potter!" Lily hissed, as James took her hand and started dancing to the music.  "I was having a perfectly good evening and now you have to come and spoil it!"

These weren't the words James wanted to hear, but he proceeded with his plan.  He had agreed with himself that he would tell her tonight, even if she didn't accept him or his words.

            "Lily," he began, "I know you must hate me, and I know we have our differences.  But I wanted to tell you that… well, I asked Nikki to the dance because I knew I could never have you.  I can't stop thinking about you.  You've been on my mind every day since… well, for a few years, but these past couple months more than ever.  I… I really like you, Lily Marie Evans.  I… I love you.  And if I'm not mistaken, I think you're harboring feelings for me, too.

            "Just tell me, Lily.  Please, tell me if you feel the same about me.  Sincerely.  If you honestly tell me no, I swear, I won't ever bother you again."

Lily looked into his soft, pleading eyes.  She started to melt.

            "Potter, we can't… you know we can't… I won't," she said as firmly as she could.

            "Just tell me."

            "Oh, James, why now?  Why tonight?  I was getting on fine this week and tonight, and now you… you have to… why now?  I just made myself get over you and now… but we can't, James, you know we can't…"

            "Please, Lily.  I promise I won't ask for anything ever again."

Lily looked again into those eyes and knew she could not lie.

            "I… I do have feelings for you, James," she whispered.

            "Then why won't you have me?" he asked.

            "Because, James… we're too different.  We're from two completely different worlds."

            "But-"

            "I'm sorry, James.  I really am.  I've been trying my best to keep my mind off you, too, but… I can't, either.  I've got a boyfriend, you know that, and I like him very much.  We just can't do this, James."  Her eyes welled up with tears.  "I'm sorry."

The hot tears spilled over, and Lily turned and ran.  James looked down, defeated.

-

Sirius and Caitlin had decided to dance during the slow song.  Caitlin rested her chin on Sirius' shoulder.  Neither teen spoke for a while.  Then Caitlin chose to speak, voicing one of her fears.

            "Sirius," she said as she looked into his eyes, "just in case… this… we don't work out…" she shuddered inwardly at the thought, "I just wanted to say…

            "Thank you… thanks for everything you've ever given me… Because I know I'll never forget it… or you.  You've given me so much: so much hope and joy, Sirius… and knowledge of… of what love really feels like…

            "And… even if you don't feel the same way… I can understand that… this is a big step for you… but I just wanted you to know… that I… I- I love you."

Sirius' heart melted at the words, but he was left speechless.  He knew what he felt for Caitlin was strong, but he didn't know what it was.  He didn't know if it was love.

            "You know what?" He touched her cheek tenderly.

            "What?"

            "You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen…" he whispered in her ear.

Caitlin was glad the lights of the Great Hall had been dimmed, so Sirius couldn't see her crimson cheeks.

-

            "Ah, James, and who is this?" the young, elegant woman asked him.

            "Mum, this is Nikki Gryfan.  She's a Gryffindor and is a Pureblood," James recited, bored.

            "A Pureblood.  I see," said Mrs. Potter thoughtfully, yet happily.  "James, I do believe your father would like to meet her."  She called him over.

Mr. Potter was a tall man.  He looked down upon Nikki.

            "Miss Gryfan, I see," he said.  Nikki looked taken aback.  "Yes, I know your father quite well," Mr. Potter explained.  "Good man."

            "Well, James, we approve," his mother accepted.  "But we must be going.  Your father and I have a social matter to attend to.  Have fun tonight."

_Yes, all the fun in the world, _James thought dejectedly.

-

                "Er… miss?" squeaked a voice beside Lily's ear.  She lifted her head and opened her eyes, pushing her tangled hair out of her eyes.  A short house elf with wide eyes stared at her.

            "Miss, there is a boy downstairs, he says he is wanting to speak to you, miss," the house elf said.

            "Oh," said Lily.  "Thanks."

            "And not that it is any of Nelly's business, miss," Nelly said slowly, her eyes searching Lily's face, "but is miss alright?  Miss seems a little… sad."

            "I'm alright, Nelly," Lily responded, wiping the remaining tears from her red, puffy eyes and attempting a weak smile.  "Thanks."

            "No problem, miss.  Nelly is here to serve."  Nelly disappeared with a crack.

_What does Potter want now?  _Lily thought, somewhat disgruntled.  _I told him we couldn't…_

Lily opened the door to see Chris standing at the foot of the stairs.  He looked slightly surprised to see Lily looking this way.

            "Lily?" he asked uncertainly.  "Are you… okay?" 

            "Chris," Lily whispered as she flung herself at him and he enveloped her in a hug.  "I'm so glad it's you," she murmured into his shoulder.

            "What happened?" he asked when they broke apart.

            "Oh, nothing," Lily said reassuringly.  "Just Potter getting on my nerves, that's all.  What time is it?" she asked.  Chris checked his watch. 

            "Almost midnight," he said.

            "Oh, Chris, I ruined this night for you.  You must hate me.  I'm so sorry."

            "It's okay.  Really.  Do you want me to stay here with you?"

Lily wanted to say yes, but hesitated.  "But what about the dance?"

            "Honestly, there's nothing I'd rather do than spend time with you," he said.

            "Okay then… _yes_," she said as she hugged him close again.

**A/N: **Argh, I know it's incredibly short, and doesn't do you guys justice, but… I'm sorry!  I know what's going to happen next and everything, but… argh!  Just give me a little time.  I'll sort myself out.  I might modify and change this chapter later, but… we'll see.  Review!


	28. Chapter 28: Quidditch

**A/N: **Today I am taking the liberty of having my characters answer reviews for me, as I am always busy writing:

Lily: to **BlackLupin- **OutofAzkaban says she is pleased with all the feedback.  She agrees that James is ADORABLE!  I think you're both insane.  OutofAzkaban also apologizes about not having any Caitlin and Sirius in the Yule Ball.  She will try to either fix it sometime or make up for it in future chapters.  She also says Lily is being stopped by her having a boyfriend _and _her image… wait!  Stopped from _what, _exactly?  Hrmph.  OutofAzkaban also says that James was rejected completely, and that stops him.  She admits she does not completely fathom how James' mind works.  Hrmph… who knows that, anyway?

Chris: To **DeJaView14- **OutofAzkaban says "Hey, Danerz!"  What kind of name is that?  Anyway, about the review, she says Chris will _not _be cheating on Lily!  He would _never_ do that!  And she's right!  I have my dignity!  OutofAzkaban also says that don't worry; she will…_what?!_  Get rid of Chris somehow?!  What do you mean, get rid of me?!  But she assures you anyway… mutters darkly to himself

Lily: To **Lanette- **OutofAzkaban promises some Caitlin/Sirius soon, and thanks you for the compliment.  And Chris _is _sweet!

Chris: At least I have something left… thanks, Lily and Lanette.  To **MPPSexxySiriusJamesRemus-** OutofAzkaban thanks you for your constant support!  And she agrees with you on James' parents… and says that's why she made them that way!

**Chapter 28: Quidditch**

            "Hi, Nikki," James greeted Nikki Gryfan with a smile the next morning.  "Ready for breakfast?"

Nikki was unused to this chipper side of James, but she was glad his mood had taken a turn.  _I guess I finally got through to him, _she thought, exuberant.

            "You have a big game today," she said excitedly as they walked to the Great Hall.

James ran his hand through his hair.  "Don't I know it.  And it's Christmas, too.  We should be on holiday.  Don't know why Dumbledore postponed it."

James was able to keep his cheerful face on through breakfast.  That morning was the Quidditch championship match, Gryffindor versus Slytherin.  Slytherin had been on a winning streak and James suspected that's why the holidays had been postponed—Professor Sylvia Snape didn't want to lose their winning streak.

James was only slightly nervous about the match.  He had been in the team since second year.

In the middle of breakfast, Lily approached James tentatively.

            "Um… Potter?"

            "What do you want, Evans?" James regarded her coldly.  "Can't you see I'm busy?"

            "I…" Lily was shocked.  "Can we talk?"

James sighed irritably.  "Make it quick.  I've got warm-ups."

They walked outside into the Entrance Hall.  James folded his arms across his chest.

            "Well?  I told you I haven't got all day."

            "I… James, what's up with you?  You've changed so much since last night."

James nearly burst out laughing.

            "What's up with me?  What's up with _me?  _I'll tell you.  You rejected me last night, Evans.  I told you I wouldn't bother you.  That's what you want, isn't it?  That's what you've always wanted.  You would always complain about how I annoyed you, how I got on your nerves, how I infuriated you so much.  Well, you should be happy now.  I'm back to normal and I'm leaving you alone.  Now if you'll excuse me, I have a Quidditch match to win."  James turned and briskly walked away.

_But that's not what I want, _Lily thought.

-

            "And it's Carey of Gryffindor with the Quaffle!  She's heading toward the goalposts—duck, Marie!-- and passes it to Longbottom.  He scores!  Ten-nil Gryffindor!"  Mark Jordan's voice rang out across the Quidditch pitch.  Cheers and groans resounded throughout the stadium.

James' eyes were searching for the Snitch.  The tiny, golden, winged ball was nowhere to be seen.

            "Flint takes possession, he flies across half the pitch—stop him, Frank!-- he dodges Longbottom and shoots!  Catch it…yes!  I don't believe it!  What a miraculous save by Sean Wood!

            "Gryffindor back in possession, with a ten-point lead…"

James noticed the Slytherin Seeker, Nott tailing him closely.  He dove, and, thinking James had spotted the Snitch, Nott followed.  James pulled up from his dive just in time, but Nott crashed.

            "This could get ugly," Jordan yelled through his magical megaphone.

It did.  The Slytherin supporters started throwing things at James, which he dodged easily.  The players started yelling at James and the referee.  James only grinned.  He was used to this.

The game resumed, after a little bit of sorting out between the referee and the Slytherin team.

Soon it was Gryffindor-70, Slytherin-20.  The match was the toughest they had had all season, and James had to catch the Snitch while they were fifty points ahead; otherwise they lost the Cup.

James noticed the winged ball lurking near the shortest goalpost.  He zoomed toward it, picking up speed every second… Nott followed him, obviously thinking it wasn't a feint.

James reached toward it, hand outstretched, Nott on his tail… closed his fingers around the Snitch…

And then a Bludger came out of nowhere.

            "Potter, look out!"  Wood shouted.

But it was too late.  The Bludger, backed up by enormous brute force, smacked James in the back of the head.  A dull _crack_ could be heard throughout the stadium.

James, still clutching barely to his broom, plummeted face-first toward the ground.  Crabbe and Goyle smacked their clubs together and grunted.

-

Lily whipped out her want and yelled "Immobulus!"  She then slowly lowered James to the ground, then ran to the middle of the pitch.

A crowd was already gathering.  Lily fought her way to the center.  Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey were there, leaning over James.  Lily heard Poppy Pomfrey's voice:

_            "I can't feel a pulse, Albus."_

Lily's heart stopped.

            "Oh, wait… it's there, but very faint… his chances of surviving are slim…" she whispered so only Dumbledore could hear, but Lily heard it.

**A/N: **Okay, do you guys remember in chapter whatever-it-was how Sirius overheard Snape and Malfoy plotting to kill James?  Well… points above

I know it's short, but it was updated quickly, right?  Well, even if it wasn't, I had this chapter written (but not typed) when I uploaded Chapter 27.  The next chapter will be long (I hope) so don't count on a quick post!  I'm trying hard!

Review, review, review!

OutofAzkaban


	29. Chapter 29: Merry Christmas

**Lanette****- **Of course you can have Chris!  And I hope you will be satisfied with this chapter!

**Soul Stealer Immortal- **Cool name.  I'm glad you like my story.  Keep reading!

**BlackLupin****- **Yup yup, Lily is thawing.  And in this chapter, I'm sure you'll be even more satisfied.  Isn't it strange that when James' is awake, talking, living and breathing (not that he's not breathing now, but you get my drift) Lily 'hates' him, but when he's asleep, she… well, doesn't?  Hehe…

**MPPSexxySiriusJamesRemus****- **Thanks for being so faithful!  You're awesome!  Keep reviewing and I'll keep writing!

**potts****-******You're great!  Thanks for being so awesome!  Keep giving me feedback!

**A/N: **A message to all you artists out there: if you have any favorite scene/character you'd like to sketch, please e-mail it to me!    I've never been the artist myself, so I'd LOVE to see what you'd have to draw.  Thanks!

**A/N: Important!  **Everyone—you MUST reread Chapter 27, or at least the part I recently added.  It contains some Caitlin/Sirius (right before the part about James' parents) and you MUST read it in order to understand a great deal of this chapter.  I cannot stress how important it is that you read this.  READ!

**Chapter 29: Merry Christmas**

As soon as James was magically lifted onto a stretcher and carried to the Hospital Wing, Lily ran to her dormitory and slipped something into her pocket.  She reached under Amanda's bed, pulled out her Invisibility cloak and slipped it on

Pretty soon the crowd had cleared, and there were only Nikki and Sirius left in the Hospital Wing.  Both sat in silence.  Remus Lupin came running in.

            "Padfoot, we need to split.  Peter jut accidentally set off a Dungbomb and Filch knows it's him, and naturally he'll suspect us as well…"

Sirius cursed under his breath.  He grabbed his broomstick and ran.

So it was only Nikki, sitting in the silence, and Lily watching from around the corner.  Nikki sat there for a while, then took his hand in hers, squeezed it, and kissed him lightly.

Lily felt her blood boil.

Nikki stood up and left the Hospital Wing, not seeing Lily.  Lily walked into the Wing and sat by James' side.  After a while, she awkwardly took his hand.  She felt it was her duty to repay him; that's what she told herself.  But though her brain did not know it yet, her heart held a different story.

Hours passed.  Darkness fell.  Hogwarts went to bed, and so did Lily.  The only difference was that she was still sitting by James' side.  She woke up while it was still dark.  She took the inkwell out of her pocket, slipped it into James' hand, and closed his fingers around it.

            "Merry Christmas," Lily whispered.

-

The next day, people were leaving for the postponed Christmas holidays.  Friends and couples were saying goodbye.  Caitlin and Sirius had both decided to stay at Hogwarts.

            "I'll never have to go back to the bloody cursed house again," Sirius was saying fiercely.

            "Sirius… if you don't mind my asking," Caitlin said timidly, "why do you hate your home and your family so much?  You don't have to tell me," she said quickly at the look on Sirius' face, "but I was just wondering."

Sirius cooled.  "Well… it's a lot, really, this and that, but it's because I don't believe what they do, that Muggleborns are 'dirty' and not as good as purebloods and that kind of wishy-washy biased crap."

            "You know, Sirius, I'm a Muggleborn," said Caitlin quietly.

            "I know," he said, just as softly.

            "And… it doesn't bother you?" Caitlin looked up into his dark eyes hopefully.

            "Nope.  I love you just the way you are," Sirius said.

Caitlin gasped, her eyes wide.  "Wh-what did you say, Sirius?"

Sirius' mind darted frantically to cover up for his blunder.  "I…uh…"

            "Sirius," Caitlin took his face in her hands, "did you just say you loved me?"

            "Did I?  I don't remember…" Sirius half-kidded weakly, still worried.

            "Sirius, I… oh, look at me."  Sirius dragged his gaze from the ground to Caitlin's face.  She continued.  "If what you just said was true, then… I want you to know that I love you, too."

            "You know what?" Sirius asked Caitlin softly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

            "What?"

            "You really are the most beautiful girl I've ever seen…"

This time, however, the room wasn't dark, and Sirius saw every bit of Caitlin's flush.

-

Lily and Caitlin were the only ones from their circle of friends that had stayed over the break, so in result they spent most of their free time together.  December 26, the day after Christmas, was unbearably cold, so the two seventh-years spent their time in the Great Hall, in front of the fire.

            "So how'd it go?" Lily asked.

            "Hmm?" Caitlin responded, still lost in her daydream.

            "How.  Did.  It.  Go.  With.  Sirius?" Lily stated slowly and clearly, as if she were speaking to a child.

            "Oh," Caitlin grinned mischievously, "quite well."

            "Tell me everything!"  Lily squealed.  So Caitlin did.  At the end of her narration, Lily asked, "So did you give him his present yet?"

Caitlin shook her head.  "Not yet.  I know I should have yesterday, but Sirius is taking me out tonight, so I decided to save it.  How're things going with Chris?"

Lily smiled.  "Really good, in fact.  He's at home over the holidays, though, so I won't be able to talk to him until he returns.  And it's great, Caitlin, we have so much in common.  He's really clever, too.  I think we could really take this relationship somewhere.  And he's not afraid of commitment or anything.  Unlike some people," she added under her breath.

            "Don't say that!  Sirius _is_ ready for commitment!" Caitlin cried out indignantly.  "He told me so!  He-"

            "No, no, I wasn't talking about Sirius," Lily reassured her.  "I meant… other people.  His best mate, for instance."

            "Ah well, some things can't be changed," Caitlin said wisely.  "Lily Birkham… I like it…"

The two girls laughed as Lily slapped her playfully on the arm.

-

_            Dear Chris,_

_Things are okay here, but I miss you.  How was your Christmas?  _

Lily paused, touching the end of her quill to her lip thoughtfully.  Other than what she had just written, she didn't know what else to say to Chris.

_            Two weeks seems like an awfully long time.  I can't wait until you return so I can see you again.  Write me back quickly and let me know how you are doing!_

_Love, _

_Lily_

Lily looked upon the letter and frowned.  They had so much in common, but she couldn't think of anything to put in a letter?  She sighed, folded the letter, tied it to the owl's leg, and watched it soar into the sky.

Then Lily snuggled under her covers and turned out the light.

-

Caitlin stood in the Gryffindor Common Room alone.  She tapped her foot impatiently and looked at her watch: 9:15.  Sirius was fifteen minutes late, and he was never late when it came to Caitlin.  She sighed.

            "Ow!" she exclaimed.  Something had hit the back of her head.  She fingered the nonexistent bruise, searched the floor, and picked up a small pebble.  The green stone was too small to hurt, but large enough to be felt.

            "Ow!" she repeated as another pebble hit her right shoulder.  This one was bright pink.  She looked around the room again, but still no one was there.

9:19.  She swore if Sirius didn't come by 9:30, she would march upstairs and turn in.  She knew she would never keep the vow.

An orange pebble hit her left leg, and one hit her in the back.

            "Who's in here?" Caitlin cried.  "Show yourself!"

There was a ripple in the air in the corner, and Sirius emerged from under the Invisibility Cloak, pulling it off of him.

            "Sirius!" Caitlin exclaimed.  "How long have you been here?"

            "Since just before nine," Sirius replied with a smirk.  "I thought I'd give you a scare."

            "Well, you did!"  She kissed him.  "Merry Christmas."

            "Merry Christmas to you, too.  Your presents are coming up soon," he whispered.

They made their way down to Hogsmeade.

            "Your first present," said Sirius once they had entered the magical village, "is that tonight we go wherever you want to go, and do whatever you want to do."

            "Oh, Sirius!"  Caitlin threw her arms around him.  "Do you really mean it?" she asked, smiling eagerly.

            "Of course," he said, returning the smile.

Over the past two days, ever since the Yule Ball and Caitlin's sentimental speech, he had done a lot of excessive thinking, and he finally knew what he felt for Caitlin.  He was, however, a little scared of the prospects that lay ahead.

Caitlin's first choice was the Robe and Dress Shop, where she found from the young witch (assisting the wheezy old wizard, who was her grandfather) that the shop also contained a Muggle clothing section.

Sirius sat in the chair by the fitting room, smiling to himself but knowing how long this night would be.

-

After Caitlin had purchased an outfit or four, they made their way to the Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Emporium branch in Hogsmeade.  Caitlin ordered a chocolate sundae and Sirius ordered a banana split.  After they received their ice cream, the couple sat at the table by the window.

            "Caitlin, I've been thinking," Sirius started.

            "Always a bad idea for you, Black," Caitlin teased.  Sirius laughed, but nervously.  He continued.

            "Ever since the Yule Ball, I've been thinking a lot about what you said, and-"

            "Sirius, I didn't mean-" Caitlin interrupted, but Sirius held up his hand for silence. 

            "I've been thinking, and you were right.  I mean, we've been going out for a long time and I've… well, I've just been cruising through it.  I never really thought about what I really felt, because… because I was so in love with you."

Caitlin gasped.  Sirius took a deep breath and continued.

            "I've spent the last two days analyzing my feelings, and I've come to the conclusion that…

"I love you, Caitlin.  I really do.  And I promise you, I will forever and always," he whispered.  "I just… want to make sure that you still feel the same way."

Caitlin sat there, speechless.  Her eyes were wide.

            "Well, say something, please," Sirius pleaded softly.

            "I- I…" she stammered.  "I… didn't expect this, but… I love you, too."

The couple kissed, and the waitress reminicised about a time when she was young and in love.

-

            "Oh, I almost forgot," Caitlin said as they broke apart.  "This is for you."  Sirius had a puzzled look on his face.  Caitlin whistled softly, and a kitten came running up.

            "I… it's mother used to be my cat, but… my parents didn't let me bring it, so… they sent a kitten, and I'm giving it to you," she explained softly.

"Merry Christmas," she said.

Sirius was allergic to cat fur, but he didn't say anything.  He sneezed.

            "It's… really adorable.  Thanks, Caitlin."  Caitlin didn't say anything, just blushed.

            "Come here," Sirius took her hand and stood up, leaving a few coins for the waitress.  He hugged her (Caitlin, not the waitress).  He started walking toward the door.

            "Close your eyes.  There's something I want you to see," he said.

            "Where are we going?" Caitlin inquired curiously.

            "You'll see," Sirius said mischievously.

-

Sirius withdrew his hands from over Caitlin's eyes.  They were at the top of a hill.  Sirius conjured up a blanket and laid it on the ground.  They both sat down.

            "I don't understand, Sirius… why are we here?" Caitlin asked.

There was an explosion in the sky, and the night sky was bathed in a red glow.

            "Oh!" Caitlin said softly.

            "I…er… arranged a fireworks display… for you," Sirius did not know how to tell Caitlin it was his gift to her without sounding arrogant.  Caitlin didn't seem to notice.

Caitlin leaned into Sirius and rested her head on his shoulder.  "This is great, Sirius… truly magnificent…"

            "Wait until you see the finale," Sirius whispered nervously.  Caitlin didn't take note of his nervousness. 

            "Um, Caitlin?" Sirius asked.  "You… can you promise me something?"

            "Sure, what?"

            "You… you really do love me, right?"

            "Of course, Sirius.  You know that."

.           "Okay." Sirius was still fidgeting and acting nervous, but Caitlin still took no note of it.

Ten minutes later, the fireworks spelled out a message in the sky for all of Hogsmeade to see:

_Caitlin Taylor, will you marry me?_

-

Lily made her way again to the Hospital Wing that night, because Caitlin was out with Sirius and she had nothing better to do. 

She sat in a chair by his side for a moment, looking at his pale, fitful face… and had an idea.

            "Accio parchment!  Accio quill!"  she whispered. 

She wrote:

_James,_

_It's me.  Lily, I mean.  I know we've been through a lot these days, and I'm writing this note to say I'm sorry.  I do have a boyfriend, though—don't let that slip your mind, but I'm willing to make a truce, and… maybe try to be friends again._

_Lily_

She set the note in his hand, and placed a Permanent Sticking Charm to it, just in case.  She squeezed his hand quickly and left.

_Oh, what have I done? _She thought afterwards, but her body made no effort to undo what she had done.

-

            "Oh look," Caitlin said foolishly, feeling lightheaded and not knowing what to make of the situation, "some guy is proposing to some girl named… Caitlin… Taylor… oh, God."

            Sirius looked deep into her eyes.  "Well?"

            "I… I…" Caitlin hesitated with her words.

Sirius started to panic.  _You fool, _he berated himself, _you__ know you shouldn't have thrown away your heart like this to one girl… you never did before…_

            "B-but you said… you said you loved me," Sirius whispered, whining and desperately pleading like a small child.

            "Oh, Sirius, it's… it's a lot more complicated that that."

            "But… but you do love me?"

            "Of course I do.  I'm just not sure if I'm ready to marry you.  I… I…"

_Say yes, _Sirius pleaded silently and desperately.  _Please say yes… please… oh, I'm such a fool… say yes…_

            "I'll have to think about it, Sirius."

The following moments were spent awkwardly, so Sirius decided to walk Caitlin back up to Gryffindor Tower before he made a further fool of himself.

-

**A/N: **I know you all must be mad at me after that.   But don't worry; there's a lot more yet to come.  Lily's starting to warm up to James, isn't she?  Heh heh… I don't have much to say… oh wait!  I'm starting another fic (don't worry; this one will be quite short and different from all the rest, I promise you) called "Letters To No One."  I had the basics of the first chapter written out, but I believe I accidentally threw it away, so I'll have to start over.  It doesn't really matter, though, because I was planning on lengthening it before I uploaded it anyway.  Once I start the new story, I'll let you all know.

Review!

OutofAzkaban


	30. Chapter 30: Hogwarts Returns

**BlackLupin****- **Aw, come on, have some heart for the poor kid.  You know he loves you, don't you? Thanks for finding that mistake about Caitlin being a Gryffindor.  You'll notice I fixed it this time!  Chris is going to get points in this one (by Lily) but don't worry—James and Lily will have an adventure of their own.  Sooner than you may think.  I'm rooting for Prongs, too.  That lock idea is really good… maybe I'll use it.  And be happy—Caitlin will respond to Sirius' proposal soon.  Very soon. smirk

**roxygurl25- **You know I'm not a nice person.  Poor Siri-poo has to endure a lot, but it'll be worth it if he gets what he wants.  We'll see if that happens.  I know you like a happy ending.  Most people do.  Including me.  (Hint alert!)

**Lanette****- **Yes, I realize they're seventeen, but try to see it from Sirius' point of view.  He's a fool hopelessly in love.  Gotta love him for that.  Thanks for your review!

**MPPSexxySiriusJamesRemus****- **Yes, I thought it was sad, too.  Thanks for reviewing!

**potts****-******I wish she said yes, too, but you've got to take into consideration their age.  They're very young, you know. 

**CaliDuchess****- **Haha, too late, I already have it.  Empty threat.  Ah yes, and I couldn't help but notice that you put "Oceanside Avenue" on the CD.  It's Ocean Avenue.  Just thought you ought to know for future reference.  Love you!

**Chapter 30: Hogwarts Returns**

The next morning, Lily took a little extra care in her appearance, something she never did.  That morning Chris—and the rest of Hogwarts—was returning.  She didn't know what had happened with James or what she felt for him, but she knew she had a boyfriend that she really liked and could not let other people get in the way.  She didn't want Chris to think she was cheating, and she most certainly did not want to herself.

When Lily came out of the bathroom, she found Caitlin still in her pajamas, sitting cross-legged in Lily's bed in a daze (**A/N: **Lily and Co. tell Caitlin the password every time it's changed so that she is able to come in).  She didn't acknowledge Lily's entrance.  Lily approached Caitlin cautiously.

            "Caitlin?" she asked quietly.  "Is… is everything alright?" Caitlin didn't respond.  "Caitlin?  What… what happened last night?"

Again nothing.

            "He didn't break up with you, did he?  Because if he did, I swear I will wring his little-"

            "No, no, it's not that," Caitlin interrupted, her voice soft.  "He… he asked me if I would… if I…" she shuddered.

            "He didn't!" Lily breathed, misinterpreting Caitlin's hesitance.  "I never believed he would do that… I mean, to you…"

            "No, it's not that, either," said Caitlin, swatting the idea away.  "He…

"He asked me to marry him."

            "Oh.  My.  God."  Lily gasped.  "But you're only seventeen!  Is he out of his mind?"

            "We'll both be eighteen by the end of the school year, and we _will _be graduating…" Caitlin insisted.  "And we do love each other… but…"

            "What did you tell him?" Lily asked in a worried tone.

            "I told him I'd think about it," she whispered wistfully.

            "Good for now," Lily said.  "I won't force you to do something you don't want to do, Caitlin, but let me know if you need to talk."

            "Thanks." A smile ghosted Caitlin's lips.  "I will."

            "Good.  Come on; breakfast.  I'm starved."

            "No, thanks," Caitlin refused, still sitting on the bed.  "I'm not going to classes today.  I'm not in the mood."

Lily sighed.  "Fine; we probably won't be doing much anyway, since everyone just returned.  But at least eat.  Come on, I won't let you starve yourself."

Caitlin gave up and reluctantly let Lily drag her to the Great hall.  They were greeted by Jane, Arabella, and Katherine, who had just arrived.

            "Tell me everything that's new," Katherine exclaimed, after they had greeted each other, eager for gossip.  Lily explained about James and the Bludger, and then, since Caitlin was still mute, told the three about what had happened the night before.

            "My God," Arabella exclaimed, "is he nuts?!"

            "Yeah," Jane said quietly.  "It's kind of soon, don't you think?"

            "Too soon," Katherine agreed.  "But it was really romantic," she sighed blissfully.

            "Oh, shut up," Arabella said, but in a friendly way.  "We all know you've been wishing Taylor Boot would do something romantic for ages for you.  Give it up, Kat."

Katherine blushed, and the four girls laughed.

-

A flock of owls came with the mail.  A tawny owl dropped a copy of the newspaper in Sirius' plate and Remus and Peter received the same.  Peter gasped.

            "Look at this," he said, pointing to the parchment with his stubby finger.

**_Has Hogwarts' Most Wanted Bachelor Finally Settled Down?_**

_An Inside Story by Rita M. Skeeter_

_Many ladies have had their eyes (and sometimes more) on handsome, popular seventh-year Sirius Black over the years, _writes Rita Skeeter.

_Black has been toying with many girls' affections since the day he arrived at Hogwarts.  Some of these girls include Wendy Patil, Delia Richards, Rachel Morris, and Hannah Denson._

_            "He's really handsome," says Delia Richards, a Ravenclaw seventh-year.  "And really charming.  Girls always go for that.  But he always dumps them when he gets tired of them, which is usually no more than a week, maybe two: a regular player."_

_But has Black changed his traditions?  According to the many watchful Hogwarts girls, Sirius has been dating Gryffindor seventh-year Caitlin Taylor for eight months.  Is it serious?_

_Many agree that it is, including many Hogsmeade villagers and Hogwarts students who witnessed the grand fireworks display set up by the player himself on the night of December twenty-sixth.  Black broadcasted a message across the night sky, asking a very lucky Caitlin Taylor to marry him.  The boy is only seventeen!  We have not received word of a response from Caitlin Taylor as of yet.  But who could resist such an offer?  Caitlin must be a fool if she refuses our young, handsome Sirius Black._

_Stay tuned for Caitlin's response!_

Sirius' nostrils flared as he clutched the paper tightly in his fist, then crumpled it up into a small wad and stomped on it.

            "What the hell?" he yelled.  "That was supposed to be my own private affair!"

            "Um, Padfoot," Remus spoke up quietly, "don't be mad, but I just wanted to point out… what happened last night was in fireworks.  Anyone could have seen it."

            "Yeah," Peter squeaked, "it was just unfortunate that Rita Skeeter did."

            "People would have seen it anyway, Sirius," Remus said quietly.

Sirius calmed down.  "You're right," he admitted.  "I just wish she hadn't published this.  I don't want the whole school knowing until _after _Caitlin answers."

-

Lily was enjoying her breakfast just as a shy voice whispered softly in her ear.

            "Hi, Lily."

Lily whipped around to see Chris Birkham standing behind her, smiling.

            "Hi, Chris!" Lily exclaimed as she flung her arms around his neck.  He hugged her back.

            "Miss me?"

            "Very much, "she answered.  "Did you get my letter?"

Chris' brows furrowed slightly.

            "Yes, but… I'm sorry, I just didn't have time to write an adequate response," he said.

            "Oh.  Well… it's okay.  I don't really mind," Lily said, hugging him again.

            "Lily," Chris asked, "are you busy tonight?"

            "Nothing except homework.  Why?"

            "Well, if you weren't doing anything, I was thinking… maybe we could go out tonight," he said timidly.

            "I'd like that," Lily murmured.  "Where are we going?"

            "Hogsmeade.  But wear something casual," he answered.

            "It's a date," said Lily, and kissed him.

-

At twelve-thirty A.M., Lily undressed and lay down on her bed, sighing blissfully.  She had just returned from her date with Chris Birkham, and was immensely happy.

_-Flashback-_

_Chris was waiting in the Ravenclaw Common Room for Lily at eight.  They made their way to Hogsmeade._

_            "Are you hungry?" Chris asked._

_            "Not really," she replied.  "Let's look around first.  I'm kind of in the mood to shop and explore."_

_            "Sounds good to me," Chris agreed, so the couple decided without speaking to take turns going to the shops they liked._

_Chris wanted to go to Quality Quidditch supplies because he needed some new equipment.  Lily consented, but once they were in the shop, Lily met someone she most certainly did not want to encounter._

_Sirius Black was also in need of Quidditch supplies, and was in the broomstick section, fingering the different brooms.  He turned around and saw Lily, reddened a little, and turned back to his previous occupation._

_            "I'll wait right here for you while you find what you need," Lily told Chris sweetly.  He nodded and walked away.  As soon as he was out of earshot, Lily hissed, "Black!"_

_            "I know what you're going to say, Evans, so save your breath.  I'm not in the mood to hear it," he said bitterly._

_            "Well, I want to say it, so you're just going to have to listen," she snapped.  Sirius sighed._

_"Are you aware of your age?" Lily exploded.  "Caitlin's been in a daze all day!  She's only seventeen!  She has her whole future ahead of her!  You can't possibly ask her to give up everything to settle down right after she graduates from school!  She's still young and free!  Couldn't you wait at least a year or two until she's tasted some of life?  You haven't even been dating for a year yet!  Caitlin's still young; you can't ask her to make this decision so early in life!  She's got to experience other things first!  This is a big step!  Are you out of your mind?!" she hissed._

_Sirius clenched his fists._

_            "I'm aware of our age, Evans, and I know that we're both still young," he said quietly.  "Don't you think I've already pondered that?  Do you think I just randomly asked Caitlin to marry me?  I thought it over nonstop for two whole days, falling behind in classes and everything.  I thought this would be best.  I know it's not the easiest road, but I love her so much and I thought she loved me, too.  I know my reputation as a player, but… Caitlin is special.  I've never felt this way about any other girl before.  The others were just… nothing.  If this isn't love, I don't know what is.  I do love Caitlin, and I can't picture myself spending the rest of my life with anyone but her.  I'm not out of my mind," he finished quietly.  "Just hopelessly in love."_

_Lily was shocked.  She had never heard—or imagined—such a heartfelt and sincere speech would come from Sirius Black of all people.  She was speechless._

_            "I'm… I'm—_sorry_, Black… I just… didn't know… didn't know how hard it was… and… if—if that's how you really feel… and Caitlin's truly happy with you, then… then I promise I won't interfere.  And… I give you two my blessing," she finished._

_            "Thank you," Sirius responded._

_            "But if you break her heart or hurt her in any way," Lily continued, "I swear I will personally dismember you," she threatened._

_Sirius pretended to look frightened.  "It's a deal, Evans."_

_Lily gave him a small smile._

_Just then Chris returned, so Lily and Chris went to a place of Lily's choosing—Honeydukes sweet shop.  There she bought a truckload of sweets, and Chris bought a few as well.  The two spent the rest of their night together walking from shop to shop, talking and laughing.  Lily felt truly at ease._

_-End of Flashback-_

Moments before she drifted off to sleep, Lily swore to herself that she would tell Caitlin every word of Sirius' speech first thing the next morning.  And she kept her vow.

-

Right before lunch, as everyone was settling down to tuck in to their meal, Sirius spotted Caitlin approaching him, a glare evident on her face.  Sirius' heart quickened, frightened.

            "Black," she said sharply as greeting.  "We need to talk.  Now."

Sirius had never been more nervous or anxious in his life.  Was Caitlin going to dump him?  Right at the moment of his life, and the biggest question he had ever asked?  He didn't think he could take such rejection.  Caitlin was his life.

Caitlin said nothing, just pressed a folded piece of parchment into his hand coldly and turned briskly away and walked without a second glance back.

Sirius felt his heart pounding and jumping in his chest and he unfolded the paper with trembling hands. 

_Yes._

Sirius looked up, hesitant, and saw Caitlin, a few feet away from him, standing where he had last seen her walking away, looking over her shoulder, and she was smiling.

He ran up to her and enveloped her in a tight, bone-crushing hug.

            "Sirius, I do love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you," she said, her eyes sparkling.

Sirius held her close, his eyes brimming with tears, and kissed her.

**A/N: **I hope you guys liked it!  I know I shouldn't be telling you this, but get ready for Lily/James, coming up soon!  I'm afraid I wasn't able to portray this in the chapter (and throughout the story) but I wanted to depict Chris as the perfect boyfriend.  You know, handsome, charming, really caring and devoted, funny.  You get the idea. 

Leave me a wunn-der-ful review!!

Love you all ten million times with a chocolate chip cookie,

OutofAzkaban


	31. Chapter 31: Wedding Plans

**MPPSexxySiriusJamesRemus- **I thought so too. J Yay! Weddings!

**BlackLupin- **Yes, I also had that idea in mind. Great minds think alike (and you know it)! That'll be next chapter, I promise. Got any title ideas?

**roxygurl25-******Yes, so far everything _is _going for the best, but… there's always divorce… only joking! Don't get mad! :P And I love you ten million times with two and _seven-eighths _chocolate chip cookies.

**potts-******Now that I know who you are (LOL)… thanks! I'm glad you liked the name, and I'm very glad you're happy!

**A/N: **This chapter was supposed to be short, and originally titled "Wedding Plans", then when I got to writing it, I added more and more, so now it's "Wedding Plans (and other business)." Also, next chapter will be (if any of you have read my other reviews) when Sirius and Caitlin meet each other's parents. That'll be a laugh. Does anyone have any title ideas? Thanks! Love ya all!

**Chapter 31: Wedding Plans (and other business)**

By the end of that day, the whole school had found out about the next bride and groom at Hogwarts. Rita Skeeter had somehow managed to get the news, and had somehow managed to pass it around the whole school via Rumor Network.

Lily approached Caitlin that evening after classes, not exactly furious but a little annoyed.

"Caitlin," she said. "I thought I'd be the first to know about you and Sirius, and I'd hear from you, but instead I hear a little while ago from a fourth-year! What's going on?"

"Oh, Lily, I'm sorry, I meant to tell you tonight, but I didn't get to, and… who did you say you heard it from?"

"I didn't. Carly Brocklehurst, Hufflepuff," she snapped. "But that doesn't matter. Caitlin, why didn't you tell me? It's not that I'm angry, really," she softened, "but…" she blushed. "I love planning weddings! I've been planning my own since I was about six," she said softly.

"Oh? Who's the groom?"

"Dunno…" she smiled.

Caitlin seemed only half-listening to what Lily was saying. "Arabella's good at Potions, right?"

"Caitlin, don't change the subject!"

"Right?" Caitlin pressed.

Lily sighed. "Right."

"Okay… thanks!" Caitlin turned and sped away.

"But…" Lily raised her hand in calling Caitlin back, then lowered it, shaking her head to herself.

-

_Arabella,_

_I know you don't usually do favors, but I was wondering… how long does it take to brew a vial of the weakest Veritaserum?_

_Caitlin_

_Caitlin,_

_It depends. How much?_

_Bella_

_Bella,_

_I don't think I'll need more than three drops. The victim is really dense. I think it'll work well._

_I think the soonest I can do it would be… by __midnight__ tonight, at the earliest._

_Will it be working well? I don't really care how early it is, as long as it's working._

_It'll be fine._

_Great! Can I count on you? I'll stop by at __midnight__._

_Sure, I suppose. May I ask what this is for?_

_You may ask, but I won't answer. You'll find out soon enough, anyway: don't worry. And thanks a lot—I owe you one!_

_Whatever.___

_-_

_ "Carly, who told you about Sirius and me?" Caitlin asked the trembling fourth year._

_ "So… so it's true, then?"_

_ "Just answer the question, Brocklehurst."_

_ "Well… Delia Richards."_

_-_

_ "Hey, Richards, who told you about Sirius and me?"_

_ "Is it true?"_

_ "Who, Richards?"_

_ "Er…I think it was Alice Simmons. You know, the Gryffindor dating Frank Longbottom."_

_-_

_ "Alice, who told you about Sirius and me?"_

_ "Well, Sarah Parkinson did. Slytherin. Dunno why she talked to me in the first place… but, Caitlin?"_

_Caitlin sighed impatiently. "Yes?"_

_ "Is it true, then? That you and Sirius are getting married? Because I just wanted to say… congratulations."_

_ "Well… thank you, Alice," Caitlin said uncomfortably._

_-_

_ "Parkinson, who told you about Sirius and me?"_

_ "It's true? It really is? He said he loved me, but now he's marrying you? It's true?"_

_ "Yes, it's bloody true!!! Sirius' player days are over! Now answer the question!" Caitlin exploded._

_ "Nikki Gryfan, did, I think."_

_-_

_ "Psst…Nikki! Come here!"_

_  
Nikki eyed her fellow Gryffindor suspiciously. "Why?"_

_ "I have more stuff on Sirius and me, and I admire your style."_

_Nikki was still suspicious. "You mean, you're not mad that it got out?"_

_ "No, actually, Sirius and I were glad. It saves us the trouble of telling everyone ourselves."_

_Nikki thought this over, then excitedly followed Caitlin around the corner to the dungeons._

_ "Stupefy!" Caitlin hissed, and Nikki collapsed to the floor. Caitlin caught her and slowly lowered her to the ground._

Wow, you're heavy, _she thought as Nikki hit the cold stone floor. Caitlin bound her with thick ropes. She took a small flask containing three drops of clear liquid from the pocket of her robe. She poured it down Nikki's throat, took out a Quick-Quotes Quill she had filched from Rita Skeeter's purse, touched her wand to Nikki's chest, and said, "Ennervate."_

_Nikki's eyelids fluttered open._

_ "Tell me," Caitlin said, "how long have you been spying for Rita Skeeter?"_

_ "Since last year," Nikki replied in a monotone. The Quick-Quotes Quill was darting frantically across the parchment. "I was supposed to be in charge of anything in the romance department and supposed to tell her anything else I found out."_

_ "How much did she pay you for this information for her column?"_

_ "Five Galleons per tidbit."_

_ "And why did you agree to spy for Rita Skeeter?"_

_ "Because… I'm not telling you," Nikki replied. It seemed like she was very possessive of this fact and stubborn about releasing it. Caitlin forced the last drop of Veritaserum out of the flask and into Nikki's throat._

_ "Why did you agree to spy for Rita Skeeter?" Caitlin repeated._

_ "Because… because I needed the money. I'm not as rich as everyone thinks I am. My family's kind of poor, and can't afford to give me extra pocket money right now. Sometimes I even make my own clothes."_

_ "Okay…" Caitlin said, packing up the parchment, quill, and empty flask. But Nikki wasn't finished._

_ "And because I wanted to dig up some dirt on Lily Evans. I wanted to make her look bad, worthless. It's not fair. How can James love her so much? I just don't understand; she treats him like filth and he still loves her. Why? Why can't he love me? I'm worthy. I've seen the longing looks he gives her in the halls, during class, everywhere. Believe me, I've noticed. And I'm supposed to be his girlfriend, but no. Why can't it be me? Why not me?"_

Wow, girl, you've got it bad, _Caitlin whistled before Stunning the girl again to end her rambling._

_Caitlin left her in the Gryffindor Common Room (after she had wiped her memory), lying on a sofa, with a note:_

Nikki Gryfan was partying late, got drunk, and passed out. Be prepared for a somewhat hung-over Gryffindor blonde in the morning.

-

It was one-thirty in the morning, and most of Hogwarts had already gone to bed, save for one Gryffindor girl.

The Hospital Wing was dark, illuminated only in the wing James Potter was resting in by the moonlight ricocheting off the white sheets. The castle was quiet, and the Hospital was even more so. It was the middle of the night, and James Potter lay in his bed, motionless, his eyes closed and his lips thin and set in a straight line. His skin looked pale in the moonlight, and his face was neutral and peaceful. He appeared to be in a deep sleep.

Then, without warning, his eyes shot open and he sat up in a snap. He was a bit disoriented for a moment or two, his vision hazy and wondering why his head had snapped up to life like that. James Potter looked at his surroundings, felt his bed and his own skin, and knew that he was finally awake.

-

Caitlin crept into the Ravenclaw girls' dormitories quietly so as not to disturb anyone. She crept slowly to Lily's bed and shook the redhead awake.

_"Psst… Lily!" _she said, urgently shaking the girl.

Lily looked up groggily. " 'S' matter?"

"Hurry, read this," she hissed, showing Lily the parchment. Lily's eyes were unfocused for a second, then narrowed and widened and she came to understand the meaning of the words in front of her.

"I'm publishing it in Rita Skeeter's column," Caitlin said, "but I wanted your approval to include the last bit. If you don't want me to, I promise I won't. But I want everyone to know what that snake's been up to."

_So she's the one who was listening in on our conversation last year, _Lily realized. _That's why James got mad at me—he couldn't imagine anyone else snitching on them. I've got to make sure he sees this… _she thought without knowing why she wanted so desperately to prove she was innocent to him.

"I… I don't know. The last part… is kind of… hostile, isn't it?" Lily said uncertainly. Caitlin was still looking at her. "I… I suppose you could publish it, if you wanted to."

"_Lily,_" Caitlin stressed the last syllable of her name, "I want your approval."

"Sure," Lily said carelessly before turning back to her pillow. "Whatever."

-

The next morning, owls from everywhere were delivering mail, and Caitlin's interview with Nikki was on the front page. The Great Hall was buzzing with excitement with the revelation on the popular Gryffindor.

Nikki entered the Great Hall groggy, confused and tired. She became even more puzzled when murmurs, whispers, and finger-pointing was directed at her.

_Do I really look that bad? _She considered the possibility. _Nah._She put on her best smile and strutted to her usual spot at the table. The whispers still followed.

"What is going on?" Nikki hissed out of the corner of her mouth to Caitlin, who was sitting nearest her. Caitlin only smirked and handed her the front page. Nikki stared at it in horror.

-

Sirius, Remus and Peter were just settling down to breakfast as James walked into the Great Hall. Suddenly there was a silence following his entrance. Everybody stared.

James broke into a wide grin, and held out his arms as if to say, _I'm back! _and soon the Great Hall joined him in laughter and returned to their earlier business. James settled down next to the Marauders.

"Prongs, old buddy, you're back," Sirius said, clapping James on the back.

"Welcome back," Remus said quietly. "Missed you."

"Yeah," agreed Peter. "Really."

"Well, thanks guys," James said sarcastically. "What a welcome."

"But-" Sirius protested, but James interrupted.

"Oh, calm down, I was only joking," said James, before helping himself to a heaping of food. "Boy, I'm ravished."

"Hey, mate, look at this," Sirius said, handing him the front page with Nikki's interview. James glanced at it, his face breaking into a smile as he read Nikki's confession, then to a glare of anger as he read the part about himself.

"E-excuse me? Is this some kind of _joke_?" He asked his friends, pointing at the last paragraph of the article. Sirius shrugged.

"Go ask her," he suggested halfheartedly, shrugging again. To everyone's surprise, James stood up and walked over to where Nikki was sitting a few spaces down.

"Gryfan?" he asked venomously. "Care to explain this last bit to me?"

"Well, it's _true_," Nikki tried to defend herself. "I've seen the looks you give her. You just can't _have _her, alright? She's not interested. And not worthy. But I am," she flirted, giving James her most seductive smile. James only glared.

"I mean it, Gryfan," he said before walked away.

"I do too! She treats you like dirt!" Nikki called after him desperately, but James wasn't listening anymore.

Lily had heard every word.

-

Dumbledore had announced that morning over breakfast that the preparing for N.E.W.T. exams had begun. Teachers were to start giving out increasingly demanding homework, and students had been known to spend even twenty hours a day studying to ensure their grade.

Teachers had started giving out more quantities of work, assuring the students that this was only the beginning. Lily had driven all of her friends to finish their homework as quickly as possible. They all met together in the Ravenclaw dormitories that night at ten PM to discuss wedding plans. Lily was exuberant.

"Okay," she said as she got out a quill and parchment, "make a list."

"Of what?" Caitlin asked.

"Everything! First of all… well, we'll do invites later. That would take a while. Let's do decorations. Flowers?"

"Err… must I pick?" Caitlin asked uncertainly.

"Of course!" Lily exclaimed. "How could you not?"

"Lily," said Caitlin quickly, "I have an idea. Why don't you choose decorations for me? You have a better eye than I do."

"Sure!" said Lily as she scribbled something down. "Alright, well… where do you want to have it?"

"Er…" said Caitlin, feeling stupider by the second, "I haven't discussed that with Sirius yet."

"Okay, we'll do that tomorrow."

Caitlin noticed Lily was getting impatient.

"Let's do invites now, then," she suggested, and as she suspected, it brightened Lily up.

"Alright-"

"But only my side," Caitlin assured.

"Deal."

"Okay… you, my parents, Katherine, Arabella, Amanda, Jane, my grandparents, my cousins, aunts and uncles… I'll have to ask my parents about all of them," she said as she ticked people off her fingers. "Jake…"

As the girls went to bed, a completely incomplete list of guests was sitting on top of Lily's trunk, waiting to be filled.

**A/N: **Okay, took me a little while, but I hope you liked! (I like the completely incomplete thing, even though it doesn't make sense. :P) Okay, here's where you come in, and I definitely need ALL of you (yes, that means _every single one) _to give me an idea: what flowers, food, place… _everything _you could possibly think of for the wedding should I use? Try to give me a whole set if you can, i.e., the flowers and decorations to match the place, and the food, guests… you get the idea.

Let me know if I've left guests out on Caitlin's side (of course I have, but specify, please) and let me know who I should invite on Sirius' side.

Thanks all! And leave me a long review! Don't forget to vote! Love you!

OutofAzkaban


	32. Chapter 32: Meet the Parents

**CaliDuchess******Thanks for the wonderful idea! You have been _the _most helpful reviewers EVER! Love ya lots! (And, as you would say, as a friend.) As you will see, I will be using a lot of your ideas (if not all). I still haven't decided if Sirius actually gets married, however… -evil grin- And you'll see soon enough (sooner than you think, actually) why Lily dumps Chris. Or why Chris dumps Lily. Hmm… which shall it be? –another evil grin- Don't worry; I've got it all figured out already! Yes, this is a long reply, but two wonderful reviews deserve a wonderful reply!

**MPPSexxySiriusJamesRemus******That's okay; I'm glad you're reading it and being so positive and encouraging. I've got most of the characters. Thanks anyway! Enjoy!

**BlackLupin******Alright, I've modified the chapter so you'll have a white wedding. Pleased? Good. And the whole ex thing? Yeah, I'll do that, too. The James/Lily idea is good, too, so I'll add that in later. Next chapter, I promise. Since Sirius has run away from home, I'm planning on having them stay at Caitlin's house for a while, and then they'll buy a house, probably in Godric's Hollow (heh heh… we know who else is living there! Or will be, anyway…).

**roxygurl25-******Yes, I know why you skimmed. I'll wait before I update, because this is looking long and I want you to be able to read it. At first I wasn't going to be able to update until Tuesday, because BlackLupin is out of office, and I need her opinion on things, but turns out she's got a wireless thing so I'll be able to update early (I hope). When do you get ungrounded? Like Monday/Tuesday?

**shortiibabi**********Glad you like! Yeah, I checked OotP, and hopefully I got everyone (there weren't really a lot of people). Keep reading!

**lilchocolatechip001-** I'm so glad you're so enthusiastic about this. Happy reading!

**stephanie**********Yes, about that… I haven't actually decided if Sirius DOES get married… but I suppose I'll be considered cruel, evil, sinister, and downright wicked if I didn't… And everyone knows what happens to Lily and James! Don't worry about that—I'm not changing their result!

**A/N: **Three new reviewers for last chapter! Yippee! Thanks **shortiibabi**, **lilchocolatechip011**, and **stephanie**!

**Chapter 32: Meet the Parents**

_ Sirius,_

_ We have just been informed from the Parkinson family that you have proposed to a girl. A Mudblood. For marriage. We demand immediately that you bring this girl over so that we may meet her. If you fail to meet our request, we shall arrive at Hogwarts ourselves and make quite a scene._

_We are absolutely appalled and ashamed that you have chosen an ugly Mudblood rather than someone like Sarah Parkinson, who is beautiful, rich, and a Pureblood, and the Parkinson family isn't very pleased with your decision, either._

_We shall expect you and your fiancé on January the seventeenth._

_Shamefully,_

_Your parents_

Sirius closed his eyes as a massive headache was quickly forming in his temples. He closed the fancy parchment with the Black emblem on it in his fist. He didn't want Caitlin to have to endure the wrath and discourtesy of his parents, but he didn't want his parents to embarrass them in front of the whole school, either.

Just then, a pair of hands snaked up his shoulders and someone planted a kiss on his cheek.

"Hey," Caitlin murmured in his ear. "You look tense. Are you alright?"

"I… I'm fine, it's just…" Sirius was still clutching the letter in his fist.

"Sirius, what's this?" Caitlin asked, nodding toward the parchment.

Sirius was really starting to sweat.

"Just a letter from my parents, Cait. Listen, we…"

"Can I see?" Caitlin asked. Her face was innocent, but Sirius knew there was more behind it.

"Caitlin, I really don't think-"

But Caitlin had snatched it from his hand, and was already reading over it.

"Caitlin, I…" Sirius started, but couldn't finish as the look on Caitlin's face turned from curiosity to hurt. "Caitlin, I'm sorry…"

"Well, I suppose I'd better start packing then, shouldn't I?" Caitlin said with a hollow laugh.

"Caitlin… you're not mad at me?"

"Of course I'm not, Sirius. You can't help who your parents are. Why would you think I'd be mad with you?"

"Well, because… I thought being called an 'ugly Mudblood' would aggravate you," Sirius said, somewhat sheepishly.

"Of course I'm mad. I'm furious. But not at you. So… the seventeenth, huh? Bit demanding, aren't they?" Caitlin attempted light humor. "I'll let my parents know we'll come to see them afterward."

There was a maniacal glint in Sirius' eyes. He looked really pleased.

"Caitlin," he said excitedly, "we don't have to go see them! We could run away!"

"Sirius-" Caitlin started.

"Think about it! Just you and me. And we could get married somewhere secret, and then run away together, have adventures…"

"Sirius!" Caitlin shook his shoulders hard. "Snap out of it! We will _not_ run away! I will go and meet your parents and will sit through a whole day with them if I have to, but I will _not _run away from my problems!"

Sirius calmed.

"You're… you're right," he said weakly. "I-I'm sorry. I guess I just got a little carried away."

Caitlin snorted. "A _little_…"

"It's just that… I ran away from home last year," he continued. "I haven't seen my family since, and… I just don't want to face them just yet. They'll hate me. They've never really liked me since our beliefs are different, but now they'll _really_ give it to me. I've never been on good terms with my parents… and they've actually considered disowning me… hasn't happened yet, but… I'm… I'm just not ready yet."

Caitlin swore she could see the beginning of tears in his eyes, and thought, _I bet I'm the first peer ever to see Sirius cry… except for maybe James… _

"Ssh," she said as she held him close. "Ssh… its okay, I'm here…"

_ Mum and Dad,_

_ I don't know how to put this, so I'll come right out and say it. Are you sitting down? I'm engaged now, to Sirius Black. We are truly in love and I'd like it very much if you wouldn't remind us of how young we are._

_ Anyway, I'm writing to say that on January seventeenth, Sirius and I will be away from Hogwarts, introducing me to his family. We want to stop by and introduce him to you afterwards._

_ The Blacks are a very respectable family in the Wizarding World, don't worry._

_ Please send your reply back with Ruby._

_ Love your daughter,_

_ Caitlin_

Caitlin watched as her owl flew off into the sunset, then raced to the Ravenclaw Common Room, where Lily was waiting for her.

"What took you so long?"

"I had to send a letter."

"Okay, so now we're doing decorations."

"Right."

"Okay, first off, have you decided where it's going to be?"

"Well, Sirius and I have decided: I've booked Gloucester Cathedral."

"Great. Do you have Sirius' side?"

"Yeah. Here." Caitlin handed her a small piece of parchment. It read:

_James, Peter, Remus, Mr. and Mrs. Potter, Uncle Alphard, Cousin Andromeda, Ted Tonks (and Nymphadora)_

"That's it?" Lily whispered loudly. Caitlin shushed her. "I mean… doesn't he have more family than this?"

"Well, sure, but… I don't think he wants them to come."

"Why not?"

"I… er… don't think I should be the one to tell you," Caitlin said, ending the discussion.

_-Flashback-_

_ "Sirius, are you sure you don't want anyone else to come? I mean, it is your wedding… wouldn't you like more family?" Caitlin had asked Sirius._

_ "No," Sirius had sad harshly. "I don't want to see them ever again. Any of them. They're part of my past, and I don't want to remember that._

_ "Sirius, if you're sure…"_

_ "I am," he had snapped._

_-End of Flashback-_

"Whatever you say. Oh, for the food… a close friend of my parents owns a catering business. I'm sure they could get them to do it for a discount."

"Cool. Thanks."

"Um, Caitlin? One thing…" Lily blushed.

"Yeah?"

"Could I… I mean, if you _really _honestly don't mind… could I be in charge of decorations? I'm sure I could put together a committee really fast, or get the prefects to do it as a project. I'll ask at our next meeting. Please?" she pleaded.

Caitlin laughed.

"Sure, I don't really know a thing about decorating anyway, and I'd be happy to let you be in charge of it."

Lily lit up. "Oh, thank you! I promise it'll look fantastic!"

"For flowers… I really want a white wedding—I love white, it's so magical—so I'm guessing white roses to go with the cathedral. It's really pretty. And don't worry—I'll order them."

"Fantastic."

**-January 17th-**

"Sirius, come on, we're going to be late!" Caitlin shouted up the stairs.

"Who cares?" came the response.

"_I_ do, Sirius! I want to make a good first impression on your parents!"

Sirius bit his lip. _Nothing will change their minds, darling. It's all in your blood, _he thought, but didn't dare say it. He didn't want to hurt her.

"Coming!" he yelled back.

After a few moments, Sirius still wasn't down. Caitlin grew frustrated and marched up the stairs to the boys' dormitories. She threw open the door.

She was startled to find James only in his boxers, and reddened.

"Um, Caitlin?" James asked without bothering to cover himself up. "Do you mind?"

Caitlin flushed deeper and marched through the dormitory. "Sorry," she muttered.

The floor was covered in clothes, parchment, old homework assignments, and who knows what else. It was so thick Caitlin could hardly see the carpet she was walking on.

She found Sirius in the bathroom in front of the mirror. He was wearing a suit, and Caitlin was wearing a simple yet elegant blue dress. Sirius had taken her shopping earlier because she had constantly pleaded wanting to look impressive. Sirius agreed it was for the best that Caitlin look rich.

Caitlin grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the dormitory.

"But-" he protested.

"You look fine," she said, and smoothed back his hair. "Now come on."

They arrived in front of the gargoyle.

"Fizzing Whizbees," Caitlin said, and the staircase was revealed.

Once in Dumbledore's office, Sirius picked up a fistful of Floo powder and tossed it into the fire.

"Number twelve, Grimmauld Place," he said clearly, and Caitlin and he stepped into the fire together.

The next second, they were in the Blacks' house, dusting themselves off. When Caitlin looked up, there were two people standing in front of them. They were both tall. The woman looked surprisingly like the Slytherin Narcissa Black. She had the same facial expression—like she had dung under her nose—and the same blond hair that was pulled tightly in a bun.

The man was tall, and had hair the same black as Sirius', only this man's was slicked back. He had no gray hair to speak of. He wore sharp robes, and every inch of him was clean, every hair placed in the right spot—the strict image of perfection.

Sirius squirmed.

"Hello, Mother, Father," he said stiffly.

"Hello, Sirius," his father said in the same uncomfortable tone. His mother sniffed.

"Mother, Father, this is Caitlin Taylor, my fiancé. Caitlin, these are my… parents."

"Pleased to meet you," Caitlin said politely, sticking out her hand. No one took it, so Caitlin blushed and withdrew it.

Sirius was trying very hard not to lose his temper.

"Caitlin, _dear_," Sirius said through clenched teeth, "why don't you go to the living room? … We will be down there shortly."

Caitlin looked nervous. "Okay," she said before proceeding to the living room.

Once Caitlin had left, Sirius turned on his parents.

"Could you two prejudiced arseholes _please _show _some _courtesy and respect to my fiancé? I know what's running through those messed-up, biased heads of yours, but Caitlin is the most wonderful girl I've ever met, so put your thoughts aside and act like _humans _for once. Treat her wrong and you will regret it."

"You will not speak to us like that, blood traitor," Mr. Black said sharply.

"Why? I'm not your son anymore," Sirius said coldly before joining Caitlin. Mr. and Mrs. Black followed.

Sirius found Caitlin looking at the Black family tree.

"Sirius," she said quietly, "I don't see you on here…"

"That's because my dad blasted me off last year after I ran away. I'm no longer their son," he answered softly, pointing to a mark that looked similar to a cigarette burn. Caitlin looked shocked, but said no more.

The Blacks, Sirius, and Caitlin sat down uncomfortably. There was a silence.

"So, you're a Mudblood," Mrs. Black said disapprovingly.

"A _Muggleborn_," Caitlin corrected. "But I am a witch."

Mrs. Black looked down her nose at Caitlin. Mr. Black spoke.

"So what line of work do you plan on going into, Miss… um, Taylor?"

"Well, I'm pretty good at Arithmancy, so-"

"Arrogant little creature," said Mrs. Black.

"Shut up, you hag," Sirius said fiercely. "You talk to her like that again and I'll hex you."

Caitlin squirmed, her cheeks getting hot.

"—so I'm aiming towards working at Gringotts, maybe being a curse-breaker," she finished, animosity in her voice.

"And your parents?" Mrs. Black asked. "What do they do?"

"Well, my mother's a vet, and my father's an architect. We live in Surrey. I also have an older brother, Jake."

"I didn't ask about your brother," Mrs. Black snapped, "but now that you mention him, he is a wizard, I presume?"

"Um, no," Caitlin said, her cheeks growing hotter, "He's a Muggle, too."

"I don't understand our kind who associate with Mudbloods and Muggles," Mr. Black said.

At this, Sirius jumped up and grabbed Caitlin's hand.

"Is this why you asked me to come?" Sirius yelled angrily. "So you could humiliate me and hurt my girlfriend? For your information, we're one hundred times the people you'll ever be, if you could call yourselves human. I've had enough. Come on, Caitlin," he said. "We're leaving."

Caitlin looked relieved at the prospect. Sirius marched her to the door.

"I hope I never see you again," he said to his parents, and the couple Disapparated.

Once in front of Caitlin's house, Caitlin froze. Sirius could see tears in her sapphire eyes, but she wiped them away hastily.

"Cait?" Sirius turned her so that they were facing each other. "It's okay, baby."

Caitlin burst into tears and Sirius held her close. She cried openly against his chest, and Sirius mentally cursed his former parents. _I hope you rot in hell._

When she looked up, Sirius wiped away her tears with his handkerchief and kissed her.

"They won't be at the wedding, right?" she asked, kidding lightly.

"Sirius kissed her forehead. "Of course not," he said, and rang the doorbell.

The door opened, and a woman stood in the doorway. She wasn't exactly plump, but she had a little extra softness around her waistline. Not at all like Mrs. Black. Mrs. Taylor had short brown hair and hazel eyes. Mr. Taylor stood behind her. He was a somewhat tall man, probably about six feet. He had dark hair like Caitlin's and his eyes were the same azure color. Sirius realized Caitlin got a lot of her traits from her father.

"Hi, Mum! Hi, Dad!" Caitlin exclaimed as they hugged. When they broke apart, Caitlin introduced Sirius.

"Mum, Dad, this is my fiancé, Sirius Black," she said. Mrs. Taylor hugged him, and Sirius didn't really know what to do, since he had never met the woman before.

"Welcome, Sirius," Mrs. Taylor said.

"Hello, son," Mr. Taylor said, shaking his hand.

"Thank you, Mr. Taylor, Mrs. Taylor," Sirius said, nodding o each one in turn.

"Oh, please, call me Julianna," Mrs. Taylor said.

"And call me Sam," Mr. Taylor said.

"Right," said Sirius uncomfortably. "Julianna. Sam."

"Come on," Caitlin said, pulling Sirius into the house. "Jake!" she exclaimed, leaping onto someone tall and throwing her arms around him. "Back from rehab, eh?"

"Shut up, munchkin," Jake said as he ruffled Caitlin's hair. Caitlin scowled and smoothed it out.

"Sirius, this is my demented brother, Jake. Jake, this is Sirius."

"Hi," Jake said, sticking out his hand. Sirius shook it. Caitlin skipped into the living room laughing, calling the boys to follow.

"So you're the lucky bloke who's won my sister's heart, huh?"

"Uh… I suppose so," Sirius said uneasily.

"You hurt her, and I'll hurt you," Jake said seriously. Sirius didn't look scared, but judging by Jake's size, he felt a little threatened. He had wizardry on his side, though, so the threat was pretty much empty.

"Only joking," Jake laughed. "I'm glad my baby sister's got someone to look after her."

"I promise I'll take good care of her," Sirius swore.

Jake clapped him on the back.

"Good," he said. "Now come on, Mum's probably got lunch ready now." Sirius followed Jake into the dining room.

Caitlin, Julianna and Sam were already standing around the table, waiting for the guys.

"Have a seat, Sirius," said Julianna, gesturing toward the seat next to Caitlin. "I hope you like home-cooked meals."

_I've never really had one before_, Sirius thought, smiling to himself. Julianna had prepared a feast. Every inch of the mahogany table was covered in dishes.

"So, Sirius," Sam said once they had all tucked in to their meal, "I hear from Caitlin you come from a very influential family in the Wizarding World."

Caitlin looked uneasy. Her eyes were wide.

"Um, Daddy…" she began, but Sirius cut her off.

"Yes, Sam, the Blacks are a pretty important family, since we're Purebloods and all, but… I'd really rather not talk about my family right now," he said.

Julianna looked amused.

"Will do," she said. "So, Sirius, what do you aspire to be when you graduate from Hogwarts?"

"Well, I'm pretty much an all-rounder," Sirius said, but unlike Mrs. Black, Julianna made no rude remark, only looked impressed. "I'm not exactly sure what I want to be. I'm kind of looking forward to Quidditch in my future…"

Sam and Julianna looked confused.

"It's a wizard sport," Caitlin explained. "I can borrow Katherine's video camera and send you a tape of the next match, if you like. Sirius plays Chaser, and he's the best," she said affectionately.

By the end of the day (around five o'clock) Caitlin and Sirius announced that they'd better be leaving, since they had promised Dumbledore that they would be back by dinnertime in the Great Hall.

As they were leaving, Julianna hugged Sirius again. Sirius felt more comfortable this time, and returned the embrace.

"You're welcome here _anytime_, dear," she said kindly. Sirius nodded and thanked her.

"And take care of my baby girl," Sam added.

"Daddy! I am not a baby anymore and you know it!" Caitlin protested as she hugged her father. "Thanks for not saying anything about our age," she whispered.

Sam smiled. "If you're ready, I won't set any conditions on you two."

"Hey, man," Jake said, "take care. You know I'll be checking up on my baby sister, right?"

_"I am not a baby!" _Caitlin screeched. Jake, Sirius, and Sam laughed.

"Don't worry, I love her too much to hurt her," Sirius assured Jake. Caitlin blushed.

**A/N: -**narrator's voiceAnd then they Disapparated… Heh heh, I know it's long, so I ended it there without making up an ending like "they arrived at Hogwarts." Boring.

Ah yes, school starts in less than two weeks, and I'm taking 3 Honors classes, will be on 2 soccer teams… my schedule will be really full, so don't plan on getting updates fast, alright? Sorry to disappoint you, but… I'll try my best not to!

Anyway, I worked hard on this, so leave me a wonderful review!

Love you all with a TON of chocolate chip cookies (beat that),

OutofAzkaban


	33. Chapter 33: The Astronomy Tower

**MPPSexxySiriusJamesRemus******I'm so glad you liked it! Ah yes, everyone hates the Blacks. Evil, evil people.

**CaliDuchess******YOU! You checked your email! Must put this in scrapbook of "Things Not Done Often"… Just kidding! So how've you been? Well, it's either let Sirius get married and kill Caitlin off later, or have him not get married at all. So I haven't chosen yet. See, if he gets married, then what will happen to Caitlin once they do get married? Then James/Lily get killed, Sirius is in Azkaban… WHAT HAPPENS TO CAITLIN?! As you can see, I'm a bit undecided.

**Lilchocolatechip011- **Thanks for understanding. Oh yeah, and I'll start refereeing next year, too, so add that to my busy Saturday! LOL Well I'm glad you liked. Thanks for reviewing!

**BlackLupin******Hey you! You _are _a good girl. Don't worry; after Chapter 33 there will be a big gap (because I don't know what I'm putting in next… maybe the wedding… -shrugs-) and you can work on updating. –sigh- It's a busy, busy life. I also love how overprotective Sirius is of Caitlin! I wish I was in your shoes! Don't worry; if I do decide to kill you off, you'll be married first. It either: you die (scary words), you guys get divorced, or you never get married at all. Unless you find an alternative… ooh! I've got one! I'll email you to tell you what it is! Ah yes, since you get Sirius, I get Jake, and then we can be sisters-in-law! I've always wanted an older sibling, brother or sister… or both! You're lucky. Well, actually I'd prefer one each, but… being the oldest really sucks.

**roxygurl25-******I'm glad you're ungrounded! Yeah, 'that wedding' is still in the making. I have to do this chapter first before I give a second thought to 'that wedding.' Actually, I've given it quite a bit of thought already… The typos will be fixed when I find the time. Thanks!

**Lanette******You spoke at just the right moment (err, I think..) The whole Lily/James thing is going to be in _this _chapter! I've been planning this for a long time! Thanks for reviewing!

**potts**********I'm glad I got them the right way. Thanks for reviewing and say hello to Samantha for me!

**A/N: **IMPORTANT! Everyone listen up! I have modified Chapter 22 so it fits the story. Please re-read it! Thank you!

**Chapter 33: The ****Astronomy****Tower******

"Aw, come on, Siri-poo," Vylette whined while placing a manicured hand on his arm. "You _used _to love _me-_"

"Correction, Snyder," Sirius said icily. "I never felt _anything _for you. Now move. I've got things to do."

"But Siri_us_," Delia Richards whined, "we really, _really _want to go…"

"Please, please, please?" Wendy Patil whimpered.

"Come on, Sirius, don't you feel anything anymore? We want to see you get hitched," said Rachel Morris.

_I don't feel anything for _you, Sirius thought bitterly. He tried to refuse, but many pleas and whines soon filled his ears, and he consented—out of aggravation, not approval.

"Fine," he said angrily. "You can come to the wedding. Just. Do. Not. Bother. Me. Again," he said through clenched teeth. The fourteen girls squealed happily, and Sirius stormed off.

He found James in the Great Hall, drinking pumpkin juice and playing chess against Remus. James looked up.

"What's wrong, mate? You look like you were just trampled by a stampede of thestrals," he said, concerned.

"Or Blast-Ended Skrewts," Peter piped up.

Sirius rubbed his head.

"Close. A stampede of my exes. They were all begging to come to my wedding."

James choked on his juice, spraying out orange liquid.

"Your _what_, excuse me?"

Remus looked worried. Realization struck Sirius.

"Oh, right," he said. "I forgot to tell you—while you were out cold, I proposed to Caitlin. She said yes, and the wedding's going to be on Valentine's Day," Sirius concluded.

James still looked thunderstruck, and Remus looked anxious.

"Wow," James said. "Wow. You—_you, _Sirius Black—are getting _married._ And you didn't tell me? This is…" To everyone's surprise, James' serious face broke into laughter. "This is _hilarious!_"

Remus looked at James quizzically, and Peter stared, confused.

"It… it is?" Sirius ventured.

"Of course! You, Sirius Black, most-wanted bachelor and number one playboy, are getting _hitched_! This is rich," James howled, tears now rolling down his cheeks. Sirius looked agitated and tried to explain.

"Look, it's perfectly normal. Caitlin loves me. I love her; I'd do anything for her. We've talked this over so it's only natural that-"

James howled again.

"Where are you going for your… _honeymoon_?" he choked out.

"Haven't decided yet," Sirius muttered, his face turning an interesting shade of maroon. "Oh, yeah… and you're my best man," he said, reddening even more.

"A… wedding!" James howled again.

As the two were arguing over the whole idea of a wedding (Sirius doing the arguing, James doing the laughing), Caitlin approached Sirius.

"Hey, Sirius?" she said. "I have something to tell you regarding our guest list."

"Alright, well…" Sirius said shiftily, "I have something to tell you as well… but you go first," he said quickly.

"Okay, well… you know Matthew Steiner?"

"Your ex-boyfriend?"

"Yes well… I passed by him in the hall earlier this morning, and I realized I didn't invite him, so I gave him an invitation and… that's one more for my side."

"You _what_?!" Sirius yelled, causing all of the occupants in the Great Hall to turn and stare. James waved them away.

"Sirius-"

_"You invited your ex-boyfriend—who you were _very _serious about, I might add—to our wedding?" _he thundered.

"Sirius, we're just friends!" Caitlin protested angrily. "We broke it off a year ago and the feeling was mutual, so we agreed to stay friends! That's all, Sirius, I promise!"

"Caitlin, _you_ _cannot invite your ex-boyfriend to our wedding!_" Sirius commanded. "You just _can't_! And why are you getting all defensive, anyway? _We _are getting married, Caitlin, and you cannot bring old flames! What if something… _happens_?"

"And why can't I, Sirius?" Caitlin snapped. "Oh, honestly, do you really think something would happen between Matthew and me? Why can't you just accept that we're just friends? Why won't you believe me when I say that?"

"Why do you want him there so badly, Caitlin? Do you have a thing for thick-headed, brain-dead _losers_?"

"I'm marrying _you_, aren't I?"

The fury grew in Sirius' face. "Look, Sirius," she continued. "Leave it. What was it that you wanted to tell me?"

"Well, I…" Sirius shifted his feet, "I need to expand my side by…" he counted off his fingers—"fourteen people."

"Oh? And who are these fourteen new people?"

"Well… I'd rather not name them all."

"Sirius…" Caitlin said warningly.

"Okay, well… my ex-girlfriends."

"And you tell me I can't invite _one _ex? What is wrong with you, Sirius?" Caitlin demanded hotly.

"Nothing!" Sirius said heatedly. "They were following me around and whining all day! They'd follow me until the day I died if I didn't say yes!"

"You'd deserve it," Caitlin muttered.

"It's just that… you and Steiner were serious. My exes were just flings, Caitlin. They meant nothing. Nothing could ever happen between _us_."

"And nothing would ever happen between _friends_, either! Look, Sirius, I'm marrying you. Not Matthew. And if you still refuse to trust me then… I need to be alone," Caitlin said, holding her forehead. She left briskly.

"Caitlin, wait!" Sirius called out, but Caitlin was already out the door.

_What have I done? _Sirius thought miserably.

"Oh, James," Sirius sad dully in the Common Room that evening. "Caitlin came up with this idea that we both appoint one person to be in charge of planning the wedding on their side. So I'm appointing you. Dunno—some weird girl thing," he said, shrugging, still looking at the floor.

"What?" James yelped. "What could _I _possibly do for _decorating_?"

"Dunno. Girl thing—but you're in nonetheless." Sirius didn't take his eyes off the floor. All day Caitlin hadn't spoken to him. She had refused to unless he took back what he said about Matthew Steiner or told all of his exes they wouldn't be able to attend the wedding. He declined, so she had purposely avoided him for the rest of the day.

"Do you know who the girl is for Caitlin's side?" James asked casually.

"Nope. Didn't ask. Might be Katherine—they're pretty close."

James nodded.

"What is it?" Lily asked breathlessly as she ran into the Head Lounge. "What happened?"

James walked in a few minutes after, yawning and running a hand through his already-disheveled bed-head hair, but quickly smoothing it when he saw Lily.

"Dumbledore called a meeting?" he asked. Caitlin snickered.

"You two are such suckers," she said, laughing. Lily and James looked confused. "_I _called this meeting—if you could call it that. You two are the ones chosen for planning the wedding and all that, so in result you'll be spending a lot of time together. We still need decorations and to design the cathedral, so that's your first task. I'll see the results tonight, I promise. Ciao!" she said, and left the room.

James looked at Lily uncomfortably. Lily only looked angry.

"Stuck with you," she muttered. "I can't believe it. Alright, let's buckle down so I can get out of here. I've got sort of a layout of the cathedral and a list of our flower arrangements and everything."

James was still staring at Lily.

"You know, Evans, you really need to lighten up. You know, have some fun for once. Don't you ever think of anything else but work?"

"Of course I do," Lily snapped. "Like right now I'm thinking of how long it's going to take us if you don't focus. Now come on."

James sighed, and reluctantly looked at the large layout Lily had pulled out.

**-Three hours later-**

As the two were finishing up the decorations for the cathedral, the clock grew closer to eleven o'clock.

James scooted his chair closer to Lily so he could see the parchment more closely, and Lily could smell his aftershave. He had a musky scent, and she felt something inside she did not want to feel. _I have a boyfriend, _she reminded herself sternly.

As James leaned over, their hands touched, and Lily drew her hand back quickly. James looked at her with an unreadable expression on his face, then quickly turned his attention back to the church.

He looked up again quickly. "Lily," he asked, "what are you doing tonight?"

"I've told you, it's Evans. And I'm not doing much, just studying. N.E.W.T.s are coming up. Not that you should care what I'm doing, Potter."

"_Lily,_" James said, "will you go out with me tonight?"

Lily threw her hands up in the air and gave James a disgusted look.

"Potter, I've told you time and time again: I have a boyfriend. I will _not _go out with you. Now leave me alone."

James turned back to the parchment, and Lily couldn't help feeling just a little bit guilty.

That night, Lily sat in the Ravenclaw Common Room, her eyes staring at her textbook but glazing over as she got lost in her thoughts.

She couldn't comprehend why she wouldn't obey herself, and why she had to spend so much time with James, and why life was so cruel. She couldn't put aside her feelings for him, and any time she finally managed to subside them, they came jumping back up again once she saw him. She didn't think she would ever get a break.

She tried to focus her thoughts on Chris, but her mind wouldn't listen. Lily kept thinking back to James, and the Yule Ball… how she admitted openly that she had feelings for him but would never make anything of them. How he had treated her so coldly but had changed today… as if he had sincerely wanted nothing more than to just be with her. How his hazel eyes glistened when she rejected him so harshly. How…

_I have got to get back to Astronomy, _she told herself. Lily looked back at her long chart, but the words made no sense and didn't register in her head. They floated around, not connecting, and Lily found that for once in her life, she couldn't think. Couldn't reason.

Lily picked up her chart and quill, slipped on a robe on top of her pajamas, and crept quietly out into the hall.

Once in the dark Astronomy Tower, Lily didn't feel the resolve to complete the chart anymore. She let it drop quietly to the ground and stared out into the night sky as the soft wind blew through Hogwarts' tallest tower. She wrapped her arms tightly around herself and shivered slightly.

"Cold?" A familiar voice from the shadows asked.

Lily nodded before she could stop herself, and then turned around to see who her visitor was. She jumped and gasped.

"Potter! What in the name of Merlin's beard are you doing up here? You scared me!"

"I could ask you the same question, _Head Girl_," James replied smoothly, and sat down beside her without an invitation. He wrapped his coat around her shoulders. She took it off and threw it to the ground.

"I don't need anything of yours, Potter," she snapped coldly before turning back to the sky. "I'm fine. Now bloody leave me alone! What are you doing, stalking me?" James only picked his coat up wordlessly and put it back upon her. This time Lily made no effort to remove it.

After a few moments of silence, neither of the two speaking nor daring to move, James spoke.

"Beautiful, aren't they?"

Lily whipped around.

"Yes, I think so."

"Haven't done your Astronomy chart yet?" James asked, nodding to the parchment on the stone floor.

Lily nodded.

"Yes, I just don't understand Astronomy. I can do it perfectly well, but I don't understand the purpose of naming and identifying all the stars. I mean, what's the point? I'd rather just sit here and gaze at them. It makes them seem much more mystifying that way. Astronomy just defines each star as something, but… I'm rambling, aren't I?" she asked.

James smiled. "Yes. But I don't mind." He turned his focus back to the black sky. "They make me feel so small. So insignificant, you know? Like I don't really matter. Do you ever get that feeling?" he asked, looking at Lily.

"Sometimes when I'm up here. But usually I…"

"You're just too busy working to notice the things around you?" James asked with a knowing smile. Lily scowled.

"I hate to admit it, Potter, but you're right. And I suppose you were right about loosening up, too. But you know, planning the wedding isn't considered work to me. I've always wanted to plan a wedding. I've been… do you promise you won't tell anyone?" she asked.

James nodded.

"I've been dreaming of my own since I was a little girl," she said.

James reacted to this with an unreadable expression. He said nothing in response. A strange look overcame Lily's face.

"I don't know _why _I just told you that," she said in disbelief.

James smiled slightly. He was about to say, "Because you know you can't resist me," but thought better of it.

All of a sudden, Lily saw James leaning ever so slightly toward her. She turned around, and James stopped with a jolt. Lily pretended she didn't notice what James almost did, since she didn't know what to say.

"Lily," James said softly, startling the girl beside him, "I just wanted to say… I'm really sorry. Wait—let me finish," he said, holding up his hand at Lily's interruption. "I wanted to say I'm sorry for all… all I've put you through… and I… I know this is a bad time… believe me, I know, but… I wanted to know if maybe… if you wanted to… we could give us a second chance. I know things are different now, but… I really like you, Lily. And I understand that you've never liked me much, and you don't really have any reason to, but… could you give me a chance?"

Lily looked at James with sad eyes.

"James, I… look, I'm confused right now, too, but I honestly don't think that it would help if… if we… picked up where we left off. I don't think we'd be any better off James—it would just confuse us more. And right now I don't really need the stress. I'm under a lot of pressure-"

"We all are, Lily," James interrupted, "but don't you think we could give it a shot? Us, I mean. Lily, please-"

"James, look, don't make this harder than it already is, alright? I… I just can't do this. I have a boyfriend. You have Nikki. We just… that's our lives now, James. Don't dwell in the past, please. It hurts too much." Lily looked out the window, pain evident on her features.

"Lily, I'm sorry again. I can never do anything right, can I?" James said bitterly, but disgusted with himself instead of angry at Lily.

"No, James, it's not that, it's just… we both have our own lives now. We gave us a shot. It was just… I suppose it was strange, you and me after being enemies all these years. It's not that I can't stand you, James. Well, it was true that I couldn't, but… I just don't think its right anymore. We have our own lives, and our own things to do. James, you and me… we're history," she said softly, her eyes glistening. James said nothing, only looked down at the floor, so she continued.

"James, you're fun to be around, you really are. I'm sorry, too, about putting you through what I did. But now… we could call a truce. I wouldn't mind. But as for anything beyond friends… I don't think that would work out. I'm very happy with Chris right now, and I don't think anything could change that. I'm sorry," she said softly, the tears threatening to spill. "We had our chance, James. We can't do this anymore. I can't live two lives. Things should go back to the way they were. It makes it more comfortable, more secure, when you know what's going on-"

Lily never got to finish her rambling sentence as James pressed his lips to her fiercely, not wanting her to say anymore. There were tears in his hazel eyes, but he kept control of them and fought them back. Lily astonishingly found herself responding to the kiss, silently telling him what she would never dare tell even herself: that she was happy here.

James was the first to pull back, and he the first thing he saw was Lily's pale face, her skin paler in the moonlight, and tears in her emerald eyes. He stood up quickly, tripping over his own feet.

"I should go," he said aloud, but was only trying to convince himself to leave the place he loved most.

Lily said nothing, only looked away, not wanting James to see her face. James left, and Lily could hear his footsteps echoing down the stone staircase. She didn't call after him, and didn't follow him, only wrapped his coat around her arms tighter.

Another wedding-planning meeting was scheduled to begin at nine the next morning in the Head Lounge, so Lily and James both reluctantly made their way to the seventh floor. They sat down in silence, neither saying a word to the other.

Lily pulled out the layout of the cathedral and set it on the table. "Caitlin didn't like what we did with the left side, so we've got to redo it and then we'll be done," she said bluntly. James nodded, and the two worked on what they needed to complete.

"Okay, so let's rearrange the roses here," Lily said, and in reaching for her quill, her hand brushed James' arm. She blushed but refused to look at his face. James, however, was gazing at her with unmasked feelings. "And if we put the food cart _here _instead of here…" she erased the food cart with a spell and re-wrote it on the other side of the cathedral.

"There, she should like that," Lily said confidently, but James still hadn't paid any attention to what she was saying.

"Lily," he ventured, "about last night…"

"James, I've already forgotten. It's for the best," she said bluntly, but didn't look at him.

"Lily, _look at me_," James commanded, and when she didn't obey, he tilted her chin up. Lily looked at the floor, but eventually looked up at James. "I'm sorry," he said. "I know I shouldn't have done that. But… still, Lily, don't you ever think of what we could've been? Don't you feel _anything_?"

"James, now isn't a good time," Lily muttered.

"Now is as good a time as any," James countered. "Lily, we can't let this just keep happening."

"Don't I know it," Lily murmured under her breath.

"Lily, be serious. We can't keep doing this. We've got to decide. And right now is best. We can't keep putting it off, and you know it. Lily… we don't know what we are, and I don't want to keep it that way. I'm sure you feel the same. We've got to decide right now, Lily. I've waited seven years, and I'm not waiting any longer."

"I… James, don't you understand? I don't know what I feel for you, though it's… not bitter rivalry. And I have a boyfriend, James! We just can't do this!"

"But are you sure about that, Lily? I mean… this is you and me here. We don't want to-"

"Look, James, this is my life. I know what I'm doing," Lily spat.

"This is my life too! You're always accusing me of being selfish, and now look at you! Lily…" James started, but somehow couldn't finish what he was about to say.

"James, we just can't, don't you understand?" Lily nearly screamed, frustrated. "I _can't! _I just _can't _do this! I've got a life, a reputation, I've-"

Once again Lily was cut off as James kissed her passionately, not wanting to hear her side of the argument and facing rejection for the millionth time. But this time, neither pulled back for a few minutes. Lily spoke first.

"James, we really, _really _shouldn't have done that," Lily said, fear in her voice.

"Will you just stop thinking about your reputation for one _minute_?" James asked. "Lily, you know that from the first day of Hogwarts, when we were both eleven, I've been asking you out… but you thought I was just crazy, didn't you? You refused to believe I had a soul and you…" James' eyes glistened, but once again he refused to let the tears fall. "You just thought me annoying, some small prankster, a bug on your windshield… but did you ever really know?"

He waited to see if Lily asked, "Know what?" but she didn't say anything, so James plunged on ahead.

"Did you ever really know that… it wasn't a joke? That what I felt for you was _real_, Lily? I… I've been thinking about this for a long time—you and me, I mean—and I… I love you, Lily.

"I'm not asking you to feel pity for me, or feel sorry enough that you date me just to make me happy. I'm just… I think it's finally time I told you.

"It's your decision. You and me, I mean. Go ahead. Make the decision—I'll be waiting whenever you need me." With that, James stood up and left the Head Lounge while Lily sat in awe at James' sincere speech.

**A/N: **Guess what? Not even a truce, if you noticed. I'm so evil. That's it for this chapter! I put a lot of effort into it, so I hope you enjoy.

Also… did anyone figure out the thing about James' head and the Bludger? Only someone with a _very _good memory could get it… or maybe you all are too clever and came up with it!

I'm sorry, I'm rambling, so I'll shut up now and leave you all to review!

Love you all!  
OutofAzkaban


	34. Chapter 34: I Do

**MPPSexxySiriusJamesRemus****- **I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for reviewing! Fluff isn't really my thing—I'm horrible at writing it—but I'm glad you thought otherwise. Made me feel special. J

**CaliDuchess****- **I'm very happy about your feedback on the whole Caitlin/Sirius deal… but sorry! I've already chosen what will happen to them, and they _will_ get married. Prepare yourself, though—I imagine the last chapter will be somewhat sad. The Epilogue, anyway. We'll see how long it takes Lily to say yes.

**Laney-Wood-** I see you've changed your name. Thanks for the awesome compliments! I'm glad you think I portrayed Lily in the right way. I'm glad you liked James' speech- I was trying to make it as touching as possible! Yay!

**Potts- **Well, I'm glad. Ok, I've already told you (naughty, naughty me) so… thanks for reviewing!

**BlackLupin****-** I'm so glad! And I'm really touched! It's good to know my hard work has paid off a bit. J Well, yes, James believes him, but you can't deny that's how wonderful James would react to the news of his best friend getting married! LOL And I _love _Jake! If only life were like that, where you could create your own husbands… sigh LOL

**A/N: **So no one caught the thing about James and the Bludger? Think back to sixth year… think Snape and Lucius… then think Sirius… anyone figured it out yet? Well, I'll let you know what it was at the end of this chapter if you still haven't figured it out. Ta ta!

**Chapter 34: I Do**

_Caitlin,_

_Please talk to me again. I miss you like crazy. I'll take back everything I said, I promise. Just stop avoiding me. Please._

_Sirius_

_Sirius,_

_Only if you'll agree to let me invite Matthew.__ If you say no to that, then you'll have to tell your exes no and you'll be doomed to being followed around for the rest of your life._

_Caitlin_

_Caitlin,_

_I still do not agree whatsoever to letting Steiner come to our wedding. It's preposterous! _

_Sirius_

_Sirius,_

_How so? I already told you, nothing would happen! We're only friends, and I'm marrying you, Sirius. Get that through your thick skull already!_

_Caitlin_

_Caitlin,_

_I just thought of something. Does this mean… are we still getting married?_

_Sirius_

_I don't know. I'm… kind of in a state of anxiety right now. Sirius, why won't you just relent? Nothing will happen! I'm marrying you! Can't you understand that?_

_Please don't write back. I'm going to bed._

_Caitlin_

Caitlin tucked her quill away while watching his owl soar out the window and quickly into the next, which held the Gryffindor boys' dormitories. She didn't want to face him in person, for fear she might blow up at him and do something extreme, like call off the wedding.

There was a rap at her door. Caitlin threw off her covers and slowly opened the door.

"Sirius?" she asked. "You're not supposed to see me until tomorrow! Argh! What… how did you get up here?"

"Broom," said Sirius proudly, hovering a few feet off the stairs on his Comet Two Sixty. "Pretty clever, huh?"

Caitlin sighed. "I suppose. What do you want?"

"Let me in?"

"Fine." Caitlin opened the door wide enough for Sirius to fly through. He landed and quickly got off his broom.

"Caitlin, I… I'm really sorry. I _don't_ want to call off the wedding and I really love you. Just please, tell me Matthew Steiner isn't coming so we can end this."

"I will do no such thing, Sirius!" Caitlin exclaimed. "I invited a friend and he's coming! That's that, Sirius, and I'm _not_ changing it. I can't believe you're so worked up over one of my friends coming to our wedding!"

"He's not _only _a friend! He's your bloody _ex-boyfriend! _Don't you think he'd be uncomfortable watching you get married?"

"Oh, Sirius, this isn't about him and you know it. It's about you. It always is. Why can't you just accept the fact that both Matthew and I have moved on and leave it? We're only friends now! I'm going to be marrying _you _tomorrow, Sirius, and no one else. Augh!" she yelled in frustration, so loudly that the owl sitting on the bedpost took off.

"I love you, Sirius, I really do, but I don't think in this condition we can get married," she said softly.

"What?" Sirius yelped. "So you're calling off the wedding?"

"Until you decide that you're going to let me invite Matt, yes."

"Wh- what? Why? _How?_"

"I just refuse to marry you until you let Matthew come," she said firmly.

"But—Caitlin, how can you? Don't you have any feelings whatsoever?"

"I've already told you: I love you dearly, Sirius, but I won't stand for this. I want to marry you, I honestly do. Tomorrow is supposed to be the happiest day of my life. I don't want this at our wedding. I refuse to marry on terms like these. Why can't you understand, Sirius?" she cried, frustrated.

"I…" Sirius didn't know what to say. "I love you too, Caitlin. So much that I can't stand to accept the fact that you had once been with another guy, and might've _married _him… It just shocks me how I could've never gotten you. And that's the reason I'm so… jealous of Steiner."

"Sirius, there's nothing to be jealous about. I'm marrying you tomorrow. If anything, Matt should be jealous of you, but he's not, and do you know why? Because we're only _friends_, Sirius. You've got to trust me. You're _marrying _me. If you can't trust me, there is no way we're going to be happy together for the rest of our lives," she said, tears in her eyes.

"I… Caitlin," Sirius said, wrapping her up tightly in her arms. "I'm sorry. Sorry for ever doubting your word. I believe you, and I trust you. You can invite him. But I have to be able to invite all of my exes as well."

"That's fine with me, Sirius. I trust you, too. But you've _got _to promise to at least be civil, if not friendly, to Matt tomorrow."

"Aww…" Sirius whined, but Caitlin shot him a look which made him say, "I promise I'll be civil."

"Thank you," Caitlin said, kissing him on the nose. "And I won't do anything horrible to your fourteen ex-girlfriends," she promised.

"Oh, I don't mind if you do," Sirius said, kissing her.

"Lily? Lily, get up!" a voice screamed in her ear. Lily groggily opened her eyes and saw a face in hers.

"Wha' 's matter, Caitlin?" she asked. "Go back to bed; it's early."

"Not too early!" Caitlin contradicted in a chipper voice. "It's my _wedding _day!"

Lily shot out of bed, so quickly that Caitlin fell off. "Ow…" came the mumble.

"Oh my God! Is it already? Did I oversleep? No, I couldn't have… I did! Did I? Oh… wait! Where's Sirius? Where's James? What time is it? What time do we start? _WHERE IS EVERYBODY?_" she yelled.

"We _were _asleep," came a voice from the bed next to Lily, "but no thanks to you, we're sort of not anymore."

"Oh, sorry Amanda," Lily apologized quickly. "Er… you could go back to sleep if you want."

"No way," Amanda said. "I'm up now, so I'm helping with the wedding." She went into the bathroom to get ready.

"Alright," Lily said. "We'll Floo as soon as we're dressed. Accio wedding decorations and essentials!" A pile of items came zooming into her hand.

"A little… small, don't you think?" Caitlin asked doubtfully.

"Oh, they're magic," Lily assured her. "I can expand them and everything once we get there. Makes it more compact. Everything's here: flowers, food, decorations… the works."

"Great," Caitlin smiled, but she didn't look it. Lily noticed.

"What's wrong?" she asked, concerned.

"I'm just… a little nervous, that's all. Don't worry; I'll be fine," Caitlin responded, her voice shaky.

"You'll be fine, Caitlin. You're getting married to the hottest guy in school!" Lily said, wrapping an arm around her friend's shoulders and smiling.

Caitlin winked. "Yeah, but that'll all change when you marry James." An odd look over came Lily's face.

"Shut up," she mumbled. Caitlin noticed her reaction.

"What… is something wrong, Lily? What happened?"

"Nothing _'happened'_, Caitlin. I don't want to talk about it," she snapped fiercely. Caitlin backed off.

"I'm ready!" announced Amanda, stepping out of the bathroom. The next moment, the threesome were in Dumbledore's office, throwing powder into the fireplace, and stepping into it.

"Wow," Caitlin murmured. "This place is a hundred times more beautiful in real life."

"Yeah, it is really pretty," Amanda agreed.

"Come on, you guys! We haven't got all day!" Lily said, determined to work. She wanted nothing else but to keep busy. Caitlin noticed something else was on her mind.

"Lily, is this about James?" Caitlin asked softly.

"I _told _you, I do _not _want to talk about him or anyone else," Lily said. "Let's just get this done."

But Caitlin had had enough.

"Lily, this is my _wedding,_ and you're acting really sour. I won't stand for it. Tell me what's on your mind," she said stubbornly. Lily sighed and relayed to her all that had happened the previous two days.

"Merlin!" Caitlin breathed when she had finished. "I don't believe it… _James _said that?"

"Yeah," Lily sighed. "But I just don't know what to do about it. I mean, I have a boyfriend, and I really like Chris, don't get me wrong, but… I don't know what I feel for James and having to make this decision is driving me crazy!"

"Just go with your heart, Lily," Caitlin said softly. "It'll always be right, trust me. I had doubts about marrying Sirius, too… but I really do love him so I didn't let anything get in the way."

Lily thought this over for a moment, not saying anything. "Let's get to work," she concluded. "I don't care if James doesn't get here to help with the decorations. I suppose he's done his bit, being a guy and all. I want this day to be perfect."

Two hours before the wedding officially started, guests were arriving, flocking into Gloucester Cathedral. Caitlin peered at them from behind the door.

"Wow," she yelped. "They're already here!"

"It's alright," Lily said. "We've got two hours to get you ready. Let's get cracking."

_Dum__ dum da dum… Dum dum da dum…_

The organ played as the whole cathedral immediately quieted themselves. The doors opened, and Caitlin walked slowly down the aisle. Sirius, at the front of the aisle, in all his glory, dropped his jaw in awe at the sight of Caitlin. She was dressed in white, which contrasted wonderfully with her dark hair. She took her steps slowly, and Sirius couldn't help wishing her to hurry, even though he knew it wasn't customary. James had to nudge Sirius in the ribs softly before he closed his mouth.

She reached the spot next to Sirius, and turned toward him, smiling broadly. But no one had a bigger smile on their face than Sirius Black. He looked excited.

"Do you, Sirius Black, take Caitlin Grace Taylor to be your wife, to love and to cherish, for better or for worse, in sickness or in health, as long as you both shall live?"

"I do," he said, grinning.

"And do you, Caitlin Grace Taylor, take Sirius Black to be your husband, to love and to cherish, for better or for worse, in sickness or in health, as long as you both shall live?"

"I… I do," she said firmly, smiling back at Sirius.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife." Sirius slipped the ring onto Caitlin's fourth finger on her left hand and Caitlin did the same to him.

"You may now kiss the bride," the priest said, smiling. Sirius did, as he always did, as he was told. The couple ran down the aisle together, Caitlin shouting out, "Reception's at Hogwarts! My family follow James, Chris and Lily to the school!" before the jumped into the car, the words 'Just Married' written in white on the rear windshield.

"James, I… I wanted to say I'm really sorry," Lily began, seated in the front seat next to James, after a long silence.

"For what, Evans?" James asked.

"Please don't call me that. I'm sorry I pushed you away," she continued. "I'm sorry I've been such a…"

"Hag?" James suggested.

"Well, I was going to say worthless, insensitive, workaholic maniac, but 'hag' works as well. I've been really confused, and under a lot of pressure, but those are no excuses. I've been really insecure, and I… just wanted to apologize."

"Lily?" Chris asked from the back seat. "What's going on?"

"I…" Lily turned to face Chris. "Chris, I'm incredibly sorry. I wish it didn't have to happen this way, but… I suppose neither of us can change the past and we just have to face this… I'm really sorry, Chris, but… we can't do this anymore."

"Do what?" Chris asked, confused.

"I… can't date you anymore. Look, I've really enjoyed all the time we've spent together, and I loved getting to know you, and I think you're a terrific guy. But I can't date someone… when I'm not in love with them. Sorry Chris, but… you're awesome, but I really like someone else. I might even be in love with them. I really hope you'll understand," Lily finished, looking at the floor of the car in shame.

To her surprise, Chris took it quite well. He smiled a small smile.

"Lily," he said, "I have a confession to make. Remember when you wrote me that letter over Christmas break and I told you I had been too busy to write back?"

Lily nodded.

"Well, the thing is, a friend of mine was back in town, and she might move here now that her mom has a job here or something, so I was spending a lot of time getting reacquainted with her, so that's why I couldn't write. And… well, what I didn't tell you was that she was my old girlfriend, Ashley. It was a really long time ago, but when she came back in town I found myself falling for her again. I fought it and didn't tell you because I thought you'd be angry. I suppose now's the right time."

To Lily's surprise, _she _didn't feel hurt either.

"I understand, Chris. Congratulations; I hope you two hit it off. Are we still friends, then?"

"Of course," he smiled.

"Pardon me for interrupting this wonderful… _thing_," James said sourly, "but _who _exactly are you in 'love' with now, Evans?"

"You," Lily said softly, still looking at the floor. James swerved the car, nearly crashing into a telephone pole.

"God, Evans, I just learn how to work this blasted thing, and you have to mess with my mind. _What _is your problem? _Why _are you so cruel?"

Chris massaged his chest, trying to still his racing heart. "Merlin, Potter, do you even have a license?"

"What the hell is a _license_? License for what?"

"Never mind," Lily said quickly. "I meant it, James."

"Yes, Evans, we always know you say what you mean and you mean what you say. We'll leave the license matter alone."

"I didn't mean that; I meant… about… about… about loving you."

It was a good thing the car wasn't back on the road again, because this time James would have hit a telephone pole for sure.

"Excuse me?" he said icily. "Is this a joke?"

"James, I thought over what you said the last couple days, and I… I think you're right. I have been a coward and I've been running away. From you. Or myself. I don't know, but I was scared. I thought about what you said and actually accepted the fact. I… I only hope you still… feel the same," she whispered.

James stared at her, his face void of emotion. "You're… not joking, then?"

"James, I wouldn't dare joke about something as serious as this."

James stopped, pondering Lily's statement, then upon reaching his decision, grabbed her face and kissed her. Lily showed no hesitance in responding.

"Err… excuse me, but I'm still here," Chris said, clearing his throat. Lily blushed but smiled. James started the ignition, and pressed his foot on the gas pedal, exceeding the speed limit by countless miles-per-hour, his foot fueled by exhilaration, and cut the normal time it would take to arrive at Hogwarts in half.

"And this is my favorite cousin Andromeda, her husband Ted Tonks, and their three-year-old daughter Nymphadora," Sirius was telling Caitlin. Caitlin shook hands with Andromeda and Ted, and then gasped when she looked at their daughter. Nymphadora Tonks was a small child with a pig nose and bright blue and pink hair that was in short spikes on top of her head. Andromeda noticed Caitlin's shock, and looked down at her daughter.

"Nymphadora!" she scolded. "Fix your appearance. Now!" Young Nymphadora scowled and closed her eyes, wrinkled her nose, and immediately the pig nose was gone and her hair returned to a dirty blond color.

"That's better, Nymphadora, and stay that way, at least for today, alright?" Ted Tonks asked.

"No Nymphy-dora," the three-year-old insisted. "Me Tonks."

Andromeda sighed. "She's been that way ever since she could talk. Hated her first name and preferred to be called by her last name."

Caitlin smiled. She thought Nymphadora Tonks was an alright kid.

"Wow… Andromeda, you've changed," Sirius commented.

"Motherhood. It can do wonders," said Andromeda, sighing.

"Oh, and this is my Uncle Alphard," Sirius said, pulling Caitlin away from the Tonks family. "He left me a decent bit of gold in my vault after I ran away from home in sixth year."

"Ah, this must be Caitlin." Uncle Alphard was a medium-sized man, balding, with a moustache. He was a little plump and had red hair. "Yes, I've heard a bit about you. One of the Blacks now, eh?" he said as he took her hand. Caitlin shook it.

"Yes," she said, smiling. "Now I'm a Black." She smiled at Sirius.

"Well, I'll see you around a lot, I expect," Uncle Alphard said. "Right now I'm looking forward to the food table." He walked toward the food cart, rubbing his large belly.

Caitlin laughed. "I like your uncle," she said.

"So do I," Sirius said. "So do I."

Caitlin found Lily standing next to James, talking to him lively and animatedly. She raised her eyebrows in surprise and approached them.

"Hey, Lily," she said. "Um… hello, James. Might I ask why you two are on such friendly terms?"

"We're… um…" Lily shifted uncomfortably. "I kind of told him today that… I'd give him another chance."

"Give me another chance?" James said, smiling broadly. "She told me she loved me!"

"I said _maybe_, you lovesick idiot," Lily muttered, but she smiled.

Caitlin grinned. She was glad to see the two were finally on good terms again, and there was a good chance that they'd be more than that soon, and perhaps for life.

"So, Mrs. Black," Lily asked, "What's it like being a married woman?"

"It's strange. I still haven't gotten used to the 'Mrs.'," she admitted. A finger tapped her shoulder and she whirled around.

"Matt!" she exclaimed and hugged Matthew Steiner. Matthew hugged her back. "Wow! It's been a while since we really talked, eh?"

"Sure has," Matthew said. He had light feathery blond hair—that wasn't bleached—and blue eyes. Matthew Steiner was an average beach boy. "But it'll be longer, since now you're married and all…"

"Oh, don't be stupid," Caitlin said, punching him lightly on the shoulder. "I'll still call you and stuff, don't worry. How are things with your new girlfriend?"

"Marie? Oh, she's alright. Nothing like you, though." Caitlin blushed. Sirius noticed Caitlin talking to Matt and immediately marched over to supervise.

"Hello," Sirius said, sticking out his hand with a forced effort. "Matthew Steiner, I presume?"

"Yeah. And you're Sirius," Matthew commented. "You're very lucky."

"Oh?" Sirius asked, immediately suspicious. "And why is that?"

"You're marrying her," Matthew said, gesturing toward Caitlin. "Every man would think you're lucky."

"Are you trying to say something here?" Sirius started, beginning to advance on Matthew but Caitlin held him back.

"Will you just stop?" she asked. "Matt and I are just friends; _must _I keep telling you? Don't spaz about it," she hissed.

Sirius' fists were still clenched, but he stepped back ever so slightly.

"So where are you guys going for your honeymoon?" Matthew asked, trying to make light conversation.

"Actually, we've decided to-" Sirius started, but he was immediately trampled by a flock of girls.

"Oh, Sirius," Vylette Snyder whined. "You got _married_…"

"We all thought you'd chicken out," Rachel Morris said. "I lost Galleons on it!"

"Divorce is still an option, right?" Delia Richards asked hopefully.

"_Argh_" Sirius yelled. "_Will you bloody parasites just leave me alone?!_"

"But Sirius… you got married," Wendy Patil whimpered, as if that was enough reason in the world.

"I only invited you to my wedding because you would not leave me alone," Sirius shouted. "I never wanted you at my wedding, and I especially don't want you here at the reception. Out!" he bellowed.

"But Sirius…" Rachel whined.

"I mean it!" he yelled, and the fourteen crying girls left the Great Hall quickly, faces buried in heir hands.

"Good going," Caitlin said in admiration, watching after the fourteen girls. "We're going to Paris, and Rome, and then probably the United States. I've always wanted to go to Hawaii."

"Of course, the women rule the roost, Sirius," Lily said, laughing. "You'd better get used to that." Sirius scowled.

"Oh, I've just thought of something," Lily said. "Where are you guys planning to live after graduation?"

"Good question," James commented.

"We're going to be living at Caitlin's house for a while, until we both get decent enough jobs to buy a house," Sirius said.

"Well, Caitlin, I hate to be doing this, but I've got to run," Matthew said. "I've got somewhere I have to be in five minutes, and I can't be late or they'll kill me for sure." He winked.

"Okay. Thanks for coming, Matt!" she said, hugging him once more. Sirius glared at him from behind.

Matthew slipped something into Caitlin's hand. "My phone number," he said. "If you ever want to call me."

"Oh, of course!" Caitlin assured him. "I definitely will. I don't want to lose touch with old friends like a lot of people do when they get older."

Sirius clenched his fists again.

"Bye, Caitlin," Matthew said, kissing her on the cheek. "And congratulations."

"Thanks."

"And congratulations to you, too," Matthew said to Sirius, shaking his hand. "You really are one lucky guy." Sirius' teeth were clenched, but he managed a small smile. After Matthew had left, Caitlin slapped Sirius' arm.

"Merlin, Sirius, why'd you have to act so jealous?" Caitlin asked. "I am now _married _to you and look at the way you behave!"

"He _kissed_ you, Caitlin!"

"On the _cheek_, Sirius! We're only friends! I swear, you can be so thick sometimes for the smartest guy at Hogwarts!"

"But he-"

"You know what? Let's just end this right here. Forget all about Matthew and what happened today. I love you, Sirius, and nothing could ever change that. I promise. Do you believe me?" she asked.

"Yes," Sirius murmured in defeat.

"Good. Then let's just forget about this. I love you, Sirius," she said kissing him.

"I love you," Sirius answered, murmuring into the kiss, but although what he said was incomprehensible, Caitlin knew what it was.

**A/N: **Wahoo! This chapter is _finished_! Now, peeps, enjoy the happiness in this chapter and the next (and probably the next one or two), because it's wrapping up! Yes, the entire story! Wow, I want to end it but at the same time I don't. Well, I've loved all of your support and reviews and wonderful compliments!

Ah yes, James and the Bludger. Chapter 16. Re-read and find out. Unless, of course, you don't care, in which case I will not force you.

Leave me a long review (I _do _force you to do that )!

OutofAzkaban


	35. Chapter 35: Take My Hand

**potts****-******Actually, I was going to have them like each other A LOT, and Lily just _has _to dump him, so he's devastated for the next few months, but with time, everything heals (I know from experience… but that's besides the point). Then I thought it was _way _too cruel for me, so I gave him some happiness. That doesn't mean there won't be sadness coming up in this story, though… it will be _ending sadly_. Quite.

**Tidal Waves- **Yay; a new reviewer! Unless you're one of my old ones with a new name… I thought a lot of people would want a sequel towards the end of this story, but you're the first to suggest it. Congratulations (I think)! Yes, it will be wrapping up shortly, but not before I clear everything. I'm glad you like this one so much!

**Laney-Wood- **Cute name! I know, crazy, isn't it, that this is finally ending. It just seems so… final. Well, I'm glad you enjoyed this, and I'm glad you guys stuck by me! You're awesome! LOL As I said to **potts**, I was going to have Chris be devastated… ah, just read her response. Lets me type less. And great observation about the dorm thing! I hadn't even thought of that and I will be sure to include it (with a thanks to you) somewhere before I end this. I'm really pleased about the compliment on the driving scene—I was hoping it'd be funny!

**MPPSexxySiriusJamesRemus****- **Wow, you are _very _observant! No, Matt is most definitely NOT a Death Eater! Never! I like how you analyzed that, though. I'm glad Lily did, too… but I'm just disappointed in myself that I didn't make the scene well enough. Oh well. Maybe one day I'll go back and fix it. Anyway, keep reading and sending in those reviews!

**BlackLupin****- **Ooh, wow! I've always wanted to go to Europe! Yay for you in all those places! :P Hmm… Jake? Probably not… I'll try to squeeze him in again sometime before the story's over… which, after this chapter, will probably be around two chapters and an epilogue. L Oh yeah, and asterisks don't work on the site anymore, and neither do little dashes… any idea what I could use?

**Chapter 35: Take My Hand**

"Another year drawing to a close," Professor Dumbledore was saying as the Great Hall quieted. "Seventh years, if you would, kindly stop by the small… voting booth right outside the doors on your way out. Thank you." He clapped his hands and the large doors opened.

Lily stepped outside, among all her friends, and left the Great Hall. She noticed a large crowd of seventh years, so she, Caitlin, Amanda, Arabella and Jane pushed their way through to the center. Standing there, the center of attention was a leprechaun with a red beard, all decked in green, a shamrock pinned to his hat. He sat on a pot of gold, hovering about a foot off the ground.

Lily found herself pushed t the front, right in front of the leprechaun.

"Right-o," the little man said. "I suppose the lady's next then. Right, who shall it be?"

"Who shall who be?" Lily asked, confused.

"Your vote, madam! Surely you know?"

"No, sorry." Lily felt her cheeks getting hot.

"Who you're _voting_ for to be _valedictorian _at graduation." The leprechaun was becoming impatient. "You _are_ a seventh year, are you not?"

"Oh, yes. Erm…"

"Whisper when you're ready, but try to make it quick. I've got a schedule, you know."

"Erm…" As Lily looked around, she noticed a group of blonde girls walking away, giggling.

"So who did you vote for?" the girl on the far left asked.

"James Potter, of course," the one in the center replied, giggling again. "He's sure to win."

_I'll give James a run for his money, _Lily thought, smiling. She bent close to the leprechaun's ear and whispered, "Lily Evans." She noticed another gold coin dropped into the black pot.

"A bit conceited there, are we, love?" The leprechaun asked, grinning. Lily felt her cheeks flame. She walked quickly to her next class.

_Okay, Potter, it's now or never. What are you afraid of, anyway? She's dating you, idiot._

"Um, Lily?" Lily jumped and whirled around quickly.

"Holy hell, Potter." She smiled. "What do you want?"

At this, James seemed to lose some of his nervousness. He smiled devilishly. Lily loved that smile. "Now that you mention it, Evans…"

"I didn't mean _that_, you twisted fool." She slapped his arm and pecked him on the cheek. "What is it?"

"Uh, are you doing anything tonight?"

"Me and the books. You know that. N.E.W.T.s, James!"

"I know. Um… could you leave the books by their lonesome just this once?"

"Why?" Lily was curious.

"Well… we could have our first official _willing_ date together."

Lily smiled widely, like she didn't mind leaving her studies for a whole night. Just for James.

"I'd love to."

James smiled. "Great. Meet me by the… actually, the entrance to Hogsmeade, okay? And dress nicely."

"Okay… where are we going?"

But James only winked and left the library.

Lily stood at the entrance to Hogsmeade, alone and cold. She tapped her foot impatiently… when the door opened slowly. There was something small and glittering falling softly from the sky, and the same covered the ground. Lily realized it couldn't be snow, because it was the middle of March, so she assumed it was glitter.

James appeared in the mist.

"James! This is beautiful…" Lily breathed. "… Just like what you did… last year."

"I was hoping you'd remember," James said, placing his coat over her shoulders and leading the way into the magical village.

"Wow," Lily said. "This place is so… empty," she said as they entered the large, rich restaurant, wondering why no one was there.

"Yup," James said proudly. "I bought out the whole restaurant."

"You did this… for _me_?"

"Well… only for this night," he said modestly. They sat down as the waiter took their order, and the dinner went by without a dull moment or awkward silence.

"Oh, can we stop here?" James asked, stopping in front of a bakery. The window was filled with all sorts of delectable pastries and sweets.

"James, you just ate!" Lily exclaimed.

"I know. But I really am a dessert person," he whispered. "No one really knows that… except Sirius."

Lily felt special that he had told her.

"Fine," she consented.

A moment later, they were exiting the bakery, licking their sticky fingers. They walked in silence for a few minutes.

"James?" Lily asked. "Can we sit down?"

"Um…"

"Come on!" Lily grabbed his hand and plunked down on the grass. She lay down and stared up at the sky. "Sit," she insisted when she noticed James was still standing. She patted the ground beside her. James did as he was told.

"I've always liked the stars," Lily said, staring up at the sky.

"I know. See those?" he said, pointing.

"Yeah."

"That's the constellation Andromeda. Know the story?"

"Yeah. Well. My uncle Harry used to tell me stories about the stars when I was younger. He was my favorite uncle."

"She was almost as beautiful as you." He whispered.

"Who?"

"Andromeda."

Lily blushed. "You seem to know a lot about astronomy yourself there."

"Well," said James, stretching and placing his hands behind his head, "you know me—top student. And it doesn't hurt that the young Astronomy teacher is developing a crush on me, either," he said lightly, only meaning to joke.

But James could detect the jealousy in the awkward silence that followed.

"Oh Merlin. I-I'm… really sorry," he stuttered. "I-I didn't mean that—well, I didn't want it to sound-"

"James," Lily interrupted quietly. "What are we?"

_Not this. _James hated the 'us' talk. In all his past flings, they had broken up right after this talk because James hated it so much. "I don't know," he admitted. "What… what do you want us to be?"

"I don't know, either. I…" she trailed off, unable to finish her sentence.

"Lily? Do you… do you love me?"

Lily drew back, surprised.

"I… James, I don't know how to answer! I like you, certainly; I like you a lot, but… James, I can't honestly say I love you."

"Yet?" James asked, a slight tinge of hope in his sad voice.

"James, I don't know! I don't know what we are, or where we're going from here! You've got to be open with me!"

"I have been!" James retorted. "I told you I loved you, didn't I?"

"Yes, but… James, that's not what I mean. You've been avoiding this question, and to tell you the truth, I'm scared to move on with you. I like you, but… your history with… everyone… I'm scared you're going to hurt me, James, and if that's the case I don't want to get in deep at all. If there's a chance of me getting hurt by you, I want out. Tell me."

"Lily, why can't you just understand that I'm trying? This is different for me, too. I'm not used to being in a real relationship. I-"

"Don't you think I know that? That's exactly why I'm scared. Scared of being hurt. Tell me now, James. Is this going to go anywhere?"

"I…"

"If you can't be honest with me, then I don't see how this can work out."

"I'm trying, alright? Just give me a break!"

"If a break is what you need, then you can have one! But I don't think a break is going to help, James, not in this situation."

"I told you I loved you! I told you more than once! Isn't that enough?"

"James, I don't doubt you've never told a girl that you loved her before, and I appreciate that. Really I do. But you can't just keep telling me that you love me and expect things to just fix themselves! You have got to grow up! Tell me… are we going anywhere from here?"

"I… I don't know."

"That won't do, James Potter! I need to know if there's any future in this… in us. We'll be graduating soon, and moving on with our lives, and you have got to make a decision."

"Can't we just take this one day at a time?"

_Breakdown_

_I can't take this_

_I need somewhere to go_

_I need you_

_I'm so restless_

_I don't know what to do_

_We've had our rough times_

_Fighting all night_

_And now you're just slipping away_

_Give me this chance_

_To make the wrongs right, to say:_

_Don't walk away_

_I promise _

_I won't let you down_

_If you take my hand tonight_

_I promise_

_We'll be just fine this time_

_If you take my hand tonight_

_Without you I go through the motions_

_Without you it's just not quite the same_

_Without you I don't want to go out_

_I just want to say_

_That I'm sick of these fights_

_I'll let you be right_

_If it stops you from running away_

_So give me this chance_

_To make the wrongs right, so say:_

_Don't walk away_

_Take my hand _

_I promise_

_If you take my hand tonight_

_I won't let you down_

_Take my hand tonight_

"Lily? I think I'm deeply, hopelessly, madly in love with you," James said, taking her hand tightly in his. "Please don't be mad."

A/N: I know it's short, guys, and I'm really, really sorry! Just think of it as Part 1, okay? Part 2 will be up soon, thanks to Thanksgiving break! (Another thing to be thankful for on Thursday!) J After "Part 2 (Chapter 36), there will probably be one more chapter, then the Epilogue, so count on that as my plan.

The song was "Promise" by Simple Plan. (If you can't stand my songs, then be glad to know there's only one left!) I'm really sorry it took so long… I was ready to update on November 20, but my computer's Internet was broken and there was this long icky thing… anyway, sorry it took so long!

I know this chapter sucks, but… deal with it! Argh. More will be up over Christmas break, I promise. Um… two chapters and an Epilogue. Yep—sorry. Hopefully it'll all be up over Christmas break, but no promises again. Really, really sorry! I promise to let the Epilogue be the best work I've ever done… that's my ultimate goal for this ficcy!

Leave me a wonderful review!

-OOA


	36. Chapter 36: The First Grudge

**Chapter 36: The First Grudge**

"You will give it to him, do you understand?" The cloaked creature was saying, a slight lisp in his voice, like a snake.

The trembling blonde stood against the wall, saying nothing. The creature pressed something into her shaking hand with long pale fingers.

"B-but I d-don't kn-know if I c-c-can," she whispered, stammering. "He doesn't even l-like me…" she looked down at the stone floor, her blue eyes glassy.

"You _will_ give it to him!" The creature thundered, making the blonde's head snap up, her eyes wide. "Make sure he does not see you. That is all."

"And if I don't want to?" the blonde ventured bravely.

"My _dear_, if you do not do as I ask, there shall be serious consequences," the creature said, brandishing his wand. His red eyes shone as slits through the black under his hood.

Nikki Gryfan didn't feel the salty water slipping rapidly down her cheeks. She clenched her fist tightly and ran.

* * *

Lily trudged up to her dormitory, her eyes red and sore from studying. James followed her, his arm wrapped around her shoulder. As she walked into her room, she noticed a rolled-up scroll of parchment sitting on her bed. James watched as her eyes scanned across the parchment, and an unreadable expression came over her face. She sat down. Her mouth opened slightly. She did not blink.

"Lily?" James asked, sitting down beside her. "What is it?"

"He… he's dead." Lily turned toward James. "My… my uncle Harry's gone." James wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly while she cried.

* * *

As soon as Nikki returned to Gryffindor Tower, she changed into a different robe, for the fear she had experienced in the dungeons was too much for her to contain. Once she was in dry clothes, she tiptoed to the boys' dormitory and quietly peeked in. To her relief, the room was completely void of people. She put the contents of her fist into an envelope, wrote _James_ on it, and left it on what she knew was his bed.

Nikki Gryfan didn't know what James would find as he opened the parchment envelope, as she did not read it. The creature with red eyes had instructed her firmly not to, and she did not want to be more involved in this than delivering the message.

_To James Potter_

_I have been watching you for a long time now, and notice and admire your talent._

_Come to the Astronomy Tower tonight. This note will burn when you finish reading this. Bring the ashes with you._

James didn't know what to think of the note. The person had said that they admired him, so it was probably a very shy girl who had a crush on him. James kept developing this theory all day, and was scolded during class, and that almost ever happened.

That night at eleven, when the last person awake had fallen asleep studying, James slipped on his Invisibility Cloak. He swept up the ashes into one hand and quietly crept out of Gryffindor Tower.

There was only a tiny stream of light shining into the Astronomy tower from the sliver of moon. James walked carefully, not wanting to stumble. A gust of wind blew suddenly, and the ashes in James' outstretched hands blew to the ground and scattered. He fell to his knees and scrambled to gather as much of it up as he could, but he noticed they were gathering up _themselves_. As he stood up slowly, James found they formed an arrow. Slowly, he followed it and found a wand. Upon touching it, he felt a jerk behind his navel, discovering it was a Portkey. What he didn't know was where it was taking him.

* * *

"Sure," Caitlin said. "But what for?"

"I kind of have to talk to someone," Lily said.

"James?"

"Well… yes."

Caitlin nodded. "I understand." There was silence for a moment.

"So how is life as Mrs. Sirius Black?" Lily asked, smiling.

"Weird," Caitlin admitted. "I love Sirius, don't get me wrong, but now that we're _married_, things are just… different. We're sleeping in the same dorm, yet not the same bed, for one thing. And believe me, does Sirius want to." She laughed. "I told him no, but he just won't stop bothering me." She sighed, a dreamy look on her face. "I really love that boy."

* * *

"James?" Lily called softly after Caitlin had let her in.

"Hey Potter, some chick's here to see you," one boy mumbled. "Do you always have to rub your woman desirability in our face?"

Lily glared at him, and seeing who the "chick" was, the boy clamped his mouth shut, rolled over and didn't say another word.

"James?" Lily whispered again. She approached the lump in his bed. "Can we talk?" Still no response. "James Potter, I have a lot to study for, and you know I'm a risking a lot to come here just to talk to you, so for Merlin's sake _talk to me_!" she said, yanking off the covers. She gasped.

There, instead of his body, were two pillows. Lily looked around frantically.

"Lily? Is that you?" came a call from the corner. Lily turned to see Sirius, rubbing his eyes, lines on his face. A book was sitting in his lap.

"Boy, do you yell loud," he said tiredly. "I would hate to be in Potter's shoes. Listen, I think James went to the Astronomy Tower. He was mumbling something about it earlier."

"Thanks," Lily said dashing out of the room.

"No problem," Sirius said sleepily. "Just next time, keep it down to a dull roar, okay?"

On Lily's way out, the boy who had talked earlier said, "Hey, if you and Potter break up, I'll be right here!"

In the Astronomy Tower, Lily found something that shocked her—an arrow on the stone floor, made of white-gray ashes. She followed it, but found nothing on the other side but the stone wall.

Then she noticed stairs on the right. A whole winding staircase, probably used by Professor Sinistra. There were muddy footprints leading down them. They were fresh, as if they'd only been planted seconds ago. Lily followed the footprints, quickly running down the steps.

As she continued down the staircase, a sense of foreboding overcame her. James wasn't up here, there was an arrow of ashes, pointing to a wall, and there was a staircase she didn't think she should know about. Lily whipped out her wand, just in case.

As she neared the bottom, a faint light glowed. At the bottom she noticed a short man… or boy. He was wearing a cloak and carrying a lit wand. There was a small wooden table in front of him and he was nearing it.

"Stupefy!" Lily shouted. The man fell on his stomach so Lily couldn't see his face. She then neared the table and was astonished to find the top was completely empty. She ran a hand over its rough surface which brought a familiar jerk behind her navel, and she only hoped this led to James.

* * *

James found himself sprawled on his rear on cold, stone-hard ground. He got up slowly and found himself in a graveyard.

"Ah, James Potter. I see you've decided to come." The _s_'s were drawn out to sound like a snake. The voice was high and cold. A tall figure in a dark cloak appeared in front of James. "My wand, please."

James didn't move. "I said, my wand!" The wand flew up in the air toward his hand and disappeared.

"Who are you?" James asked.

"I suppose it wouldn't hurt to tell you. You'll be dead in a few hours anyway." James immediately tensed. "I, James Potter, am your worst nightmare. I am the one who will soon control the entire Wizarding world. I am Lord Voldemort."

James had to snicker. "Control the world, eh? And how do you plan on doing that?"

"Crucio!" Every inch of James' skin was being pierced with white-hot knives. His insides were going to explode, every organ in his body. His brain was on fire. He wanted to die, right then and there.

"Stupefy!" a voice shouted. The jet of red light that flew through the air seemed enough to distract Lord Voldemort, and James was relieved of his pain. He closed his eyes and lay on the ground. There was a soft sound of running that came to a stop beside him.

"James?" a girl asked. "Are you okay?"

"Lily?" James opened his eyes and saw Lily's familiar and welcome face.

She kissed his forehead and pulled him to his feet. "What's going on?"

"Beats me. Hey, your lordship, you do know that that was an Unforgivable, right? As in, against the law?"

"You think that will stop me?" The high pitched cold voice sounded.

"Um, it usually stops most people."

"James!" Lily warned.

"Sorry. I mean, what did I do to you? I don't even know who you are."

"But I know who you are, James Potter, and that is all that matters. Ah, Lily Evans, how pleasant of you to join us. This will make my work so much simpler."

"Wh-what are you going to do?" Lily ventured, trying to keep a straight and brave face on.

"You and Mr. Potter will end up together, that is certain."

James grinned, but Lily jabbed him with her elbow. "I don't think he means _that_ way."

"The reason why I must get rid of you is simple, and I am certain you shall understand. I shall take over the Wizarding world, and you two are standing in my way. You are a threat to my success so I must simple—how do you Muggles say it- remove the bugs from this operation."

"We are not insects," James said, while Lily did not say anything.

"Goodbye, James Potter and Lily Evans. And what a shame—you two make such a 'cute couple'," he said with distaste. "I hope you have a death wish. _Avada Kedavra._"

"Duck!" Lily shouted and dropped, pulling on James' sleeve. She rolled over behind a headstone.

"Lily?" James asked, following what she had done. He didn't get a chance to continue as Lily firmly pressed her mouth to his.

"Wh?"

"That's in case I don't get to do that again," she said breathlessly.

"Lily, don't say that, we-"

"James, be serious!" was all she said before peeking out from behind the headstone and yelling "Stupefy!"

"Protego!" Lord Voldemort hissed. Her spell dissolved.

"James, I'm going to cast a thick fog over the whole graveyard," Lily said as a jet of green light passed right over her head. "Run over there and _wait for me_. Do not touch the table."

"What?" James yelled.

"Just do it!" Lily jumped up and pointed her wand and James looked at her face one last time before taking off running. He did not hear the spell Lily said she would cast, nor the one Lord Voldemort did.

He stopped running suddenly and turned to Lord Voldemort, who held Lily against his black cloak. With a snap of his fingers, shackles bound Lily's ankles and wrists to midair. Struggle as she did, the chains would not break.

James' head was suddenly clear of all noise. He was in a foggy state of trance, of peace.

_Kill her. _A voice echoed in his head. James drew his wand and faced Lily.

_Kill her. _The voice repeated. James pointed his wand. Lily's eyes widened, panicking.

_Go on._

But another voice in James' head sounded.

_Commit murder?_

_Just do it._

_But why, really? What has she done?_

_Kill her. Avada Kedavra._

_No!_

_Kill her, damn it!_

"No!' James shouted. "No! I love her! Alohomora!" The shackles dropped and Lily with them. James caught her.

Quick as a wink, Lily shouted the shroud spell, grabbed James' hand, and ran. They touched the table at the same time.

"_Father, you have failed me. Petty Muggle,_ thought the hissing creature in the graveyard.

* * *

Breathless, panicked and panting, James and Lily sat in Dumbledore's office, relaying their entire experience.

"Tom Riddle," Dumbledore mused to himself. "Lord Voldemort."

And he told them the story of Tom Marvolo Riddle.

* * *

"James, do you really love me?" Lily asked when they were both in their pajamas under the covers of James' bed. Having just performed the Fidelius charm, they were both scared.

"I… Lily, of course. I love you more than life itself. Why would you question that?" he asked, kissing the tip of her nose.

"James?"

"Hmm?"

"Wanna know something?"

"Yeah."

"In first year, during the Sorting, do you know where the Sorting Hat wanted to put me? Gryffindor. And do you know why I said no?"

"Why?"

"Because of you. I was scared of you. Well, not terrified, like I was of Lord Voldemot, but I was just scared. Funny, isn't it?" she whispered.

James grinned. "That would explain why you were braver than me tonight."

"And James?"

"Hmm?"

"Don't try anything." She rolled over. James quickly brought his hands to his sides.

**A/N: **Well, it's finally finished! I'm dreadfully sorry it took me so long! I was hoping to maybe finish this story over break, or at least finish Chapter 37 as well, but my family made so many plans the only time I had for writing was in the car.

Anyway, this is finished! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, everyone!

Chapter 37 and then the Epilogue! Leave me an awesome review!

OutofAzkaban


	37. Chapter 37: Graduation and Goodbyes

**louise****-**Thanks! New reviewer award to you! Not enough about James and Sirius? Hmm… we'll see.

**mynameisanna****-**Hey you! Thanks for your support—it means a lot!

**roxygurl25-**Harsh on James? Yes, I'm a feminist.

**Tidal Waves- **Thanks for your review!

**code112358132134-**Glad you liked. I thought you'd like that particular part; I was proud of it too. I'll keep your review forever!

**BlackLupin****- **Boy, what a slacker I am. I'm really sorry. Section breaks are a go! Sorry about that—and thanks for notifying and helping me. We'll see about Jake… maybe I'll stick him in graduation or the epilogue. Long chapter… got it. I lengthened it as much as I could. We'll see about the Caitlin/Sirius scene… I need some original ideas (something I lack) first!

**potts****-**Thanks for your support! When are you going to get cracking on yours?

**Laney-Wood- **Thanks for your review!

**To Be Young Again**

**Chapter 37: Graduation and Goodbyes**

_May 23_

The fire was blazing brightly as the two teens sat quietly, the girl on the boy's lap, staring at it. For a while the only sound was the crackling of the flames.

"Sirius?" the girl asked.

"Mmm?"

"I… um… I feel really stupid asking this, but…" she stopped, hesitating.

"What is it, babe?"

"You… you remember Vylette Snyder? Well of course you do. Well did you ever… you know have feelings for her?" she said hastily.

"What?" Sirius yelped. "Caitlin Black, what kind of a question is that?"

"I—I know," Caitlin said in an apologetic voice. "But I kind of need to know."

"Caitlin," Sirius sighed. "You are and have always been number one. You have got to let this go. I know Snyder's your enemy, but you know I love you. Come here."

Caitlin slid over to Sirius, since she had jumped away when he had yelped.

"I love you, Caitlin Taylor Black," he said, enjoying his name on hers. "Let it go," he whispered, kissing her nose and then her lips.

"Sirius," she said. "I love you more."

Sirius highly doubted it. He scooped Caitlin in his arms as they kissed. He walked toward the boys' dormitories, knowing they were empty.

And this time, Caitlin didn't say no.

* * *

_May 27_

Caitlin Black was speaking to her brother Jake on the telephone.

"I _told _you, soon… after graduation…don't tell me you forgot, Jake Taylor! It's my _graduation_… I know, I know. So how is Marie? Oh no, she's old… how's Laura?… She's gone? Since _when_?… Tuesday? Jacob, its _Thursday!_ You are such an idiot.. So who is it now?… Rachel's a nice name.

"Well I've got to go, Jake. I'll see you on graduation and don't you forget!… I love you, too. 'Bye."

Just as Caitlin hung up the phone, Lily walked into Dumbledore's office and placed something on the large wooden desk. She looked surprised to see Caitlin.

"A telephone worked in here?" was all she asked.

"Yeah. Dumbledore let me somehow." Caitlin smiled. "What's that?"

"Oh, just some stuff Dumbledore asked me to drop off. I don't know what it is. So who was that on the phone?"

"My brother Jake. He's such an idiot sometimes, but I love him."

Lily nodded. "Caitlin?" she asked quietly. "I need to talk to you."

* * *

"You're _what?_" Caitlin shrieked.

"Ssh!" Lily said, glancing at the door quickly.

"It… I mean, it _is _James'… right?" Caitlin asked uncertainly.

"Of course! Did you think that I would have anyone else's child?"

"How… how did this happen?"

Lily knew what she meant.

"I… I don't know. I keep telling myself 'no'—you know me, Cait, the regular goody two-shoes… but when I'm with James I just lose it."

Caitlin's eyes sparkled. "You two are really in love."

"I think so," Lily said, her scratchy voice barely a whisper.

There was a silence.

"So when's the wedding?"

"_Caitlin!_"

* * *

_June 2_

"James, we need to talk," Lily said. "I mean, we really need to talk."

"Lily, look, you know it was just as much your fault as it was mine… well, maybe it was a little more mine, but it was mutual, and-"

"James." Lily covered his mouth with her hand. "Shush. We'll talk about _that _later. This thing is bigger."

"Lily, I'm sorry!" James burst out.

"What?"

"I said I could give all you wanted, but I failed you, didn't I? I-"

"James! You didn't do anything wrong, alright? Meet me tonight… on the Quidditch pitch."

"Lily?" he asked, suddenly looking different. "Do you… love me? Do you really love me?"

"What?"

"Just answer the question, Lily," he said quietly.

"James…" she said, thinking of the talk she and Caitlin had had. "I would do anything for you. I really and truly do love you."

"I—good," James muttered distractedly. "Good. I'll see you tonight."

Giving her a quick kiss, he sprinted off.

* * *

Lily put her sweater on as she stepped out into the breezy night. She stood underneath the goal posts.

James appeared, his hair tousled in the wind.

"Lily," he said as soon as he was standing in front of her. "I know you have something important to say, babe, but what I have to say is life-changing and now that I've got the courage to say it, I don't want to lose it."

"Mine is life-changing, too," Lily started to say, but James cut her off.

"Lily, from the moment I saw you I was in love. I was eleven years old, and you were an angel. But immediately you hated me, and for six years I dealt with it. This last year has been absolute heaven, Lily Evans, ever since you came into my life.

"I love you more than you will ever know, and you are the very reason for my existence, I swear it."

There were tears in Lily's emerald eyes now, making them glisten like a pool. James dropped to one knee, his eyes never wavering from Lily's.

"Lily Evans," he said, "will you marry me?"

Lily hands were covering her mouth now. She opened her mouth, but no sound came out.

"Lily? Say something, please."

Lily opened her mouth and yet again remained silent.

"Lily?" James closed his eyes, preparing himself.

"Y… yes," Lily said. "Yes!"

James opened his eyes and the two embraced.

"Now," he said once Lily had the sparkling diamond on her finger, "what did you have to say that was more important than what I had to?"

"James," Lily said. "… We're pregnant."

There was a stunned silence from James. "We're what?"

"Pregnant, James. The baby's half yours and half mine."

James gulped.

"Madam Pomfrey says it's a boy… James, what's wrong?"

"We're… pregnant," James processed.

Lily was terrified he was going to leave her. She had read books, heard stories of teen pregnancies where the guy bailed because he was scared, and James was showing all the usual symptoms. _No, _Lily thought. _Not James. Please not James._ She knew she couldn't live without him.

"I know, but James… it's a beautiful thing. I was scared, too, but… we're getting married. We shouldn't be afraid." Lily held her breath.

After a while, James asked, "What shall we name him?"

* * *

_June 4_

"May I have your attention, please?" Dumbledore asked after he clapped his hands. "Students, please. All seventh years please listen up. The votes have all been accounted for. The valedictorian of this year's graduating class is… Miss Lily Evans."

Lily blushed deeply and smiled as the Great Hall applaused, a few students grumbling.

"Congratulations," James said, and kissed her.

* * *

_June 14_

Pulling the last curler out of her hair, Caitlin sighed as she looked at her reflection. At seventeen, she was married to a man she loved, was accepted to be an employee of Gringotts, and was graduating.

"Are you done with that?" Lily asked from beside her.

"What? Oh, sure." Caitlin handed the makeup tool to her.

"So what do you think?" Lily asked as they both stood in front of the full-length mirror Lily had conjured.

"I'd say we looked hot," Caitlin said, grinning. And they headed down to the Great Hall, Caitlin with her gold and scarlet robe over her dress, and Lily with her blue Ravenclaw robe.

"Thank you, family, friends, everyone, for gathering here this evening. We are here to witness the graduation of these youngsters, not so young anymore. I have watched them mature over the years, and my, it has been a treat. I am sure they will all become excellent wizards once they leave this school.

"And now a bit from our esteemed valedictorian, Miss Lily Marie Evans," Dumbledore finished as he induced a round of applause.

"Good evening, family, friends, and fellow graduates. It has been an amazing journey through these seven wonderful years. I have learned a lot. I made friends and met my first love." The crowd ahh-ed and Lily blushed. "So many things have happened to me at Hogwarts. I have changed so much.

"But now we enter the real world—the harsh cold world where not everything is safe and within magical walls. Where Professor Dumbledore is not always there to run to. Where we have to fend for ourselves. Things will not be easy.

"But we will get through it. I know we will. You can do anything if you just have someone." She looked at James, then Caitlin, then Sirius, Arabella, Jane. "All of life, even the worst of it, is bearable if you have someone to get through it with. I've learned that here at Hogwarts. True friends are hard to come by. Relationships you share with the friends you have should not be taken for granted.

"A lot of learning goes on here at Hogwarts, but not all of it is magic. Life lessons are learned as well. Since we live together during the year, we have all built bonds. If I needed someone to talk to or help me with anything, someone was always there. Friend, dormmate, teacher. Someone.

"In the outside world, people are different. Danger is real. But we will always have each other." She smiled and turned away from the podium. The audience, graduates included, applauded loudly.

"Lily, that was beautiful," James murmured against Lily's hair after the handing out of diplomas.

"Yeah, it was really great," Caitlin said, hugging Lily.

"Not bad," Sirius agreed.

"Thanks," said Lily.

The nine of them sat down at a table all to their own, Gryffindor and Ravenclaw forgotten.

"I can't believe we won't be seeing each other every day after this, or living together," Caitlin said sadly. "Well, except for you, of course," she said to Sirius. He grinned.

"I know. I'll miss you all so much," Lily said, tears in her eyes.

"Well, you know where Caitlin and I will be," Sirius chimed in.

"Hey," said James. "The four of us were supposed to rent out an apartment together. What'll happen to the Marauders after tonight?"

"Nothing, Prongs," Remus said quietly.

"Yeah," said Sirius. "Just because I'm married doesn't mean I'm going to quit being a Marauder. I'm only eighteen."

"Same here," short Peter squeaked.

"We'll be Marauders forever," James declared. "All four of us."

**A/N: **I didn't know how to end it, so this is what you get. Don't forget, epilogue next!

I'll do the thanks now:

**BlackLupin****- **Caitlin, thanks for always feeding me information. You've constantly supported me and I'm very grateful.

**potts****-**It was your constant compliments that kept me going. Thank you so much!

**roxygurl25-**You've always fed me ideas and inspired me. Thanks for always being supportive and making me laugh!

**mynameisanna****-**You're awesome!

**code112358132134-**You've always brightened my day with your review. Thank you!

**louise****- **Even if your review was late, I don't care. Thank you for reading!

**Tidal Waves- **Thanks so much for reading!

**Laney-Wood- **Thanks so much for reading and always being positive! You're amazing!

**moonlightgirlChoChang- **Your reviews were always super long- can you not make them so rambly this time? I'm only joking; I love that you have so much to say. I think we have stuff to work out… email me or really talk to me in your review.

**Lovesheart****- **So I've updated a few times, and you're not here. I loved your enthusiasm!

**MPPSexxySiriusJamesRemus- **Thanks for sticking with the story! You're awesome!

**lilchocolatechip011- **Haven't seen you around in a while… where have you gone? Thanks for understanding.

If I left you out, I'm sorry. I've read every single review that's come to my story, and I appreciate every one. If you hadn't reviewed in the last 6 chapters or so, I didn't go back farther than that to check… so just know you're appreciated!

So Lily and James are getting married and they'll have a baby boy (can you guess who? ). Caitlin and Sirius are married, and the Marauders will be together forever. (Have I left anything out?) Happy ending, right? Wrong.

Last official chapter, so make the review pretty!

OutofAzkaban


	38. Epilogue

**A/N: **Just a note: the times might be different. Some are a year later, some more some less… just think it's around the same time but not exactly.

**Epilogue**

_Jane Marcella Pellerine_

Just thinking about graduating, just over a year ago, certainly brought back memories of Lily and Arabella. They were the two closest friends I've ever had. But it also brought back bad memories. Memories of Luke Walker.

I never told Lily why I hadn't wanted her to date Luke. I never revealed to her my connection with Luke.

I had met Luke one summer when my family and I were vacationing in America. We were both fifteen. I had never been in a relationship. We met in a coffee shop and started talking. He had amazing charm. I was absolutely smitten with him.

He started calling me at least three times a day after that, and I trusted him more and more. He finally asked me out, and of course I said yes. I was absolutely amazed that a guy like Luke—charming, charismatic, an actor—would go out with a shy, quiet girl like me.

After we had been going out for about two weeks, he invited me to a party that was at one of his actor friends' house. I said yes. Friday night, July thirty-first, nine o'clock PM. I remember it all.

We were sitting outside in this _huge_ backyard, under a tree. We were talking mostly, and he asked me if I was thirsty and wanted something to drink. I said sure. He came back with two drinks and handed me one. This kept going until I had had about five drinks. I was very drunk.

He began kissing me, talking to me softly. I remember the alcohol on his breath. I was totally unfocused and relaxed. I felt woozy. Then he started taking off my clothes. No one was around. I was too drunk to react. I remembered who he was—a cute, charming rich guy who could have any girl he wanted and he had picked me. I remember feeling I had to prove something to him. Prove that I—plain Jane—was worth his time.

I didn't object. I was still the whole time.

I could have been pregnant at fifteen, bearing the child of a man I did not love at all. But I wasn't. At the last minute, before it was too late, I grabbed my clothes and ran. I remember throwing up in some bushes.

Tears fall as I remember this. Maybe someday I'll tell Lily. But right now, I don't see a reason to.

* * *

_Petunia Michelle Evans_

I haven't seen or spoken to Lily since she came home for my wedding. I heard from Mum she got married… to another of _her kind_.

Even though I was the elder, I was always in Lily's shadow. In grade school, she was the outstanding student. She got top grades and recommendations, while I got the second-rate marks and 'Doesn't participate enough' or 'Needs to speak up in class'.

After Lily was accepted into Hogwarts, Mum and Dad loved her even more. She was all we ever talked about while she was away—what do you think she's doing, what classes do you think she's taking, what do you think she'll be when she grows up. There was an occasional "How was school, Petunia?"

After so long of living in Lily's shadow, I gave up. I stopped participating in those conversations, stopped pretending to be excited when she came home or had good news. Every time she visited, I was hostile while Mother and Father fawned over her. I grew distant. I showed no interest in her life. I shut my sister out.

And now that we have separate lives, I never have to confront her or her life or her success again.

* * *

_James Evan Potter_

There are many joys I have experienced in life. Pranks, Marauder adventures, making out with various girls, graduation, kissing Lily. But none measures up to my latest and grandest joy (except marrying Lily).

Over a year ago, Lily announced she was pregnant with my child. I was shocked, then scared, then nervous. And in the delivery room, I was in pain. Lily was squeezing the life out of my hand.

And then he came. My baby. My son. Harry James Potter. The first time I held him… I've never felt anything like it and I swear I never will. Holding my child, my flesh and blood… and I made him with Lily.

He's a few months short of a year now, my boy. He looks just like me… he's got my hair, my hands, my chin. But his eyes… his eyes are Lily's. God, they're beautiful. I never thought I could love a person this much besides Lily. He's my baby boy… who would ever have thought I would be saying that?

I have so much to be thankful for; I'm so blessed. I've got a beautiful wife that I've loved all my life who loves me back, a house, I'm alive—escaped from Voldemort twice, a job as an Auror, and a son. I could spend all day just watching him giggle. His smile lights up like only one other's.

_I promise I'll always be here for you, son.

* * *

_

_Peter Edward Pettigrew_

James Potter. Sirius Black. Remus Lupin. And me.

I've always stuck out like a sore thumb. Even as a kid I didn't fit in. Always tried to blend in. Always needed someone to protect me and make me look big. Sirius, James and Remus provided that for me in school.

I don't need the protection of a couple popular, charismatic _kids_. I have someone better. Now I have a bigger friend. James never knew. And he never will.

* * *

_Lily Marie Potter_

I'm a wife and a mother now and I'm almost twenty. It's amazing. James and I are both Aurors, and so are Remus and Sirius. Caitlin works for Gringotts at a really top-notch position, what with her brains and all, and sometimes works undercover and helps the Order.

My beautiful little Harry… oh, he looks so much like James. I always knew I'd be a mother, but I never dreamt life would be this perfect. I work with the best of friends, am married to the man I love and have a son I adore, and I talk to my parents regularly.

The only thing that isn't perfect is Petunia. I haven't spoken to her since her wedding. If something happens to James and me, Sirius will be Harry's guardian, but… what if something bad happens? I know we have a very dangerous line of work.

I never understood why Petunia hated me so much. I was her little sister, and yet since grade school she always treated me awkwardly. I always tried to be nice to her, but she kept her distance.

I swear I will talk to her soon and start making things right. It'll be hard and it won't happen quickly, but it'll be a start. I don't want my Harry to not be able to visit his aunt ever. She's my sister.

James kept his vow; he's given me everything I ever wanted—him. And a son.

* * *

_Severus Snape_

So I've graduated. Big deal. Emily and Jack didn't bother to show up. I told them to sod off. I don't care—I'm free now.

Lucius and I hate stuck together, I suppose, if one could put it that way. We are both working for a guy who calls himself Lord Voldemort. He aims to weed out all the Muggles and Mudbloods. Power to him.

At least now I'm away from Potter… and Lily. I don't think she ever understood how much I loved her. Not that she would even _consider_ getting to know me. Especially with my competition being Potter. She was just so amazing… and beautiful. She seemed like she cared… didn't just wave you off in the hall. And yet she ended up with Potter. I guess you can be wrong about even the least likely of people.

* * *

_Caitlin Taylor Black_

I'll never see Sirius again.

I never could grasp the fact that I was really _married _to him. Sirius Black. God, I loved him. And he really loved me; I never doubted that.

I got the job I wanted at Gringotts, doing something I loved. It all seemed too good to be true. Sirius is an Auror with James and Lily. We moved out of my parents' house after about a month and got a good deal on an apartment. I could never be happier.

Then I got the offer of a lifetime—something that could change the course of my career. As a curse-breaker, I knew this would happen; I just didn't want it to and wanted it to at the same time. The offer was in Albania and I would have to stay for a month. Sirius was heartbroken, but he let me go.

That's where I am now—Bulgaria. Pleading for my life with a man who hisses like a snake, though I know he can't be swayed or reasoned with at all. I never got involved in anything, just here on business, yet look where I am.

I don't have any regrets besides leaving home. Sirius. Work. My life. Sirius will just die… _I'm praying for you now, baby. Hoping you move on._

Tears course down my face as the snake-man taunts me. I hate him… oh, how I hate him. I just want Sirius. I never got to tell him… he'll never know we were going to have a baby girl.

_I love you, Sirius. I just want you to know that.

* * *

_

_Jacob Christopher Taylor_

My mind drifts back to the last conversation I had with Caitlin before her graduation. _Since when?… Tuesday? Jacob, its Thursday! You are such an idiot… _She was calling me a player…

And she was right. All my life I had never been able to hold onto a girl for a long time. They were all just flings. What is wrong with me?

Caitlin… at eighteen she was married. She fell in love and it lasted. That girl's got a gift. She found Sirius and somehow made it all work out.

All my life I've been kidding around. Always joking, always playing around. I never let it show that it got to me. That it wasn't what I wanted. I wanted something real, something that lasted.

If my baby sister can fall in love, so can I.

* * *

_Sirius Regulus Black_

I can't get up. I just… _can't._ There's something weighing down on my chest above my heart. This hasn't happened in a few weeks, maybe a month.

Caitlin is gone. James and Lily are gone. Remus doesn't trust me, and I couldn't reach him anyway. This place is cold. Cold and dark and evil. I can do nothing but cry as I think of Caitlin. She was so beautiful.

I hate using _'was' _to describe her. She _was_, not _is_, and she never will be. I had never loved anyone but her. I never will. We had something special. I loved her so much. My heart aches for her like nothing else.

It's been more than a year now since she left for Albania. She said she would be back in a month. After two months of her being out there, I called her hotel multiple times a day, hoping she would answer. Eventually someone picked up, but it wasn't her. I stopped calling after they threatened to notify the police.

I didn't know where she was. Was I not enough for her? Did I fail to give her everything she ever wanted? After a while, I knew she was never coming back. I assumed she was dead. My own, my beautiful, darling Caitlin, gone from me.

That's when the weights came. I couldn't get up for days on end, just lying there, on my bed, thinking about Hogwarts and life and all the things we had shared.

And then Lily and James were murdered. By Voldemort. It was Peter's fault, and yet my own. Harry needs me, but he wound up with his aunt who despised Lily and I landed here, in this godforsaken animal-like prison, blamed for everything.

I'm alone. _So alone._ I swear I will find Peter, torture him and kill him. One day I swear I will.

Caitlin, my darling, my beautiful, my baby is gone. And she is never coming back. God, how I loved her. Her smile and the way she used to make me laugh. The way she listened. The way she joked and teased me. Her brains. Her beauty. When we were kids, at Hogwarts, the way she—

No, I can't. It hurts too much.

_I will never love again.

* * *

_

**A/N: **So that's the end. If you want, I can email all you guys the responses to your reviews because there isn't going to be anything after this; if you really want one, let me know in your review.

And before you ask, no there will not be a sequel. I know I'll get many pleas, but… no.

This is the last review I'll ever get from you for this chapter, so make it long and pretty. J

Tons of love,

OutofAzkaban


End file.
